I just don't understand my MIL....Very very long rant

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by SophieLain127, May 18, 2009.

  1. SophieLain127

    SophieLain127 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    So my Mother in law has treated my husband like crap his whole life so we don't see her often maybe once every 2 months. She is so screwed up it's beyond me. So she lives with this woman and her three kids (the kids should get taken away it's so bad) the middle one scraps metal and my husband takes his truck over there to go to the metal yard so he doesn't have to walk the 5 miles. While there his mom asked if my DH could shave down her dog (he's little). DH said yes picked her up and brought her and the dog to our house. She gave our 2 year old these old dolls, we don't mind her playing with old toys but these were gross. They were filthy and tattered. Of course our daughter loved them. I smiled and thanked her. She went about her business with the dog. Last time we saw her she talked about how she has to pay the governemtn back because she defrauded them out of $600 last christmas time. She talked about all the nice things she bought the boys (they are all in their teens) and their mom. She didn't buy one thing for her own children or her only grandchild. I know she doesn't have alot of money, she only makes $600 a month. However if you're going to lie to your own government to get extra money wouldn't you buy at least a little gift for your grandchild at christmas. Or when we were going to the zoo with my SIL and my MIL says "watch out for that cop" so my SIL says "why" and she goes "well I have a little something in my pocket". I mean what what passes through your mind when you're invited to a family friendly day at the zoo. Then she wanted to talk about selling while in the parking lot and my DH shot her a look and she shut up. People bring their kids here to have a good time not to learn how to sell pot. I really don't care whether or not people smoke pot. I don't and I don't want my kid around it but if you do fine just don't bring it around my family.

    Our daughter's birthday was a whole other thing. She actually bought her a gift but she treated it like it was such a big burden. She only bought her a coloring book, a few hot wheels cars, a stuffed doll and a pair of pajamas. All under $30. My husband and I who were in the red on all most all of our bills still managed to treat the other family members to pizza, buy her at least $20 in disney cars die cast cars, a cars rug, wall-e outfit, cars shirts, etc. We spent easily $100+.

    I know it isn't about the money it's about the thought but when she says things like I would have never let my kids play with that but hands it to my daughter I have a problem. Or when she blows off my child her only grandchild for a holiday to do things for these other boys (who buy the way got everything they wanted on their xmas list from their mom). It makes me mad. She acts like she doesn't want a relationship with our daughter. If that were the case I'd wish she would tell us so that way DH can do what he really wants and cut her out of his life.

    Sorry for the long rant it's just been bothering me.
     
  2. Chicks_N_Horses

    Chicks_N_Horses Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 30, 2009
    South Alabama
    Sorry about that....We all have those types in our families. Thank God my DHs parents are so wonderful to our kids. If it weren't for his mom I don't know what I would do. She is a tremendous help to us. My family is another story....My mom left when I was 4. My dad doesn't spend anytime with our kids although he picks up his ex wifes nephews (she raises them) and keeps them every weekend, takes them places, buys them things but treats my kids like they have the plague....It can be stressful....Just pray for her and do the best you can [​IMG]
     
  3. thechickenchick

    thechickenchick Born city, Living country

    Mar 8, 2008
    Eaton, Colorado
    I am so sorry that you got "stuck" with one of 'those" MILs. I had one real similar to that. It was so bad that my 8 year old dubbed her "Crazy Granny". Never to her face though!! Lucky for us, those people were not in our lives very long. Now I have a MIL that is a Saint. She is my best friend and confidant and never butts in where she shouldn't. My Mom has been gone almost 8 years so I appreciate my MIL with all my heart. [​IMG] She fills a void for me.
     
  4. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    If she is going to bring and try to deal pot on a family outing, she is a bad influence and should not be in your children's lives. Personally, I would cut her loose. She will only be a problem as long as you let her.
     
  5. cherig22

    cherig22 Green Fields Farm

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    She acts like she doesn't want a relationship with our daughter. If that were the case I'd wish she would tell us so that way DH can do what he really wants and cut her out of his life.

    Sounds to me like she already has told you. Just not in words. I am so sorry about your situation. But if you both dread her visits or your visits to her, then there is your answer. Time to cut it out before the kids are more affected by her attitude. They will understand more than you know.

    Cheri, best of luck to you!​
     
  6. SophieLain127

    SophieLain127 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    It is already to the point where we only go over there if we have to. She is not allowed to be alone with our daughter and we never have them out of earshot and arms length. Heck I think she's only held her maybe twice in 2 years. The other kids in they family have either moved away or stopped talking to her completely. It's amazing because no matter how good we are to her she always talks about how the other two are better. One moved away to KY and the other is less then 5 min from her but wont talk to her or his other siblings. My DH is the baby and kinda got suckered into it. If it gets any worse he said he will cut her out completely and she will never see our daughter. Unfortunately my mom isn't any better only in a different way...... Do you ever feel like you just want to pack up your family and dissappear?
     
  7. JennsPeeps

    JennsPeeps Rhymes with 'henn'

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    People who treat me & mine like dirt don't belong in my life. The same should go for you.

    "You can pick your friends but not your family." That's true - elect to be with the people who will love & cherish you. One of my best friends is a woman who is a good 30 years my senior. She's been a better friend and mentor than any single one of my 3 aunts and 2 uncles. She has no children and never wanted them. She's not like a mother: she's a really fantastic friend.

    Cultivate those friendships in your life and stop watering the ones that bear no fruit.
     
  8. JennsPeeps

    JennsPeeps Rhymes with 'henn'

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    Quote:Sometimes I want to make other people disappear!
     
  9. SophieLain127

    SophieLain127 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Thanks for listening I feel ten times better.... [​IMG]
     
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Western MA
    another thing thats scary is the fact that other kids live in that house... [​IMG]
     

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