I will not be responsible for anyone other than myself

[Tala]

My mom always said that I wasn't responsible for anyone other than myself.
I'm gonna take her advice on that one, coz I've had it up to HERE with DH!!

I made sure I had my uniform clean and gas in my tank for work last night, then got up, packed myself a lunch and took myself to work on time.
DH...stays up too long reading, so he sleeps in. Gets up and eats the pizza that I brought home. I tell him that he can have ham (which is pre-sliced in the fridge) and rice-a-roni (which is leftover and therefore pre-cooked) for his lunch. He goes back to the bedroom and reads until he HAS to leave for work. "Honey, could you make my lunch??"
Me and in a sweet tone, not nasty or anything: If you'll make my lunch for me tomorrow.
Him: "Oh, just forget it, I'm tired of your bull****!"
Me (being careful not to go off on him): What bull.....?
Him: "Forget it, I just won't eat for lunch, I'll take a nap"

I'm sittin here goin

I mean, does he not even notice that he should have been fixing his own lunch instead of reading that book??? Why does he think it's BS that he should make his own lunch?? I think it's BS that he thinks I should make my lunch AND his!!!!!!

I really, REALLY want to

at him, but it'd be a pointless fight.

Oh well....
I also happen to know he's wearing his last clean work shirt tonight. Hope he remembers to do his laundry in the morning, coz I sure ain't doin it! Ain't gonna be my problem if he doesn't have a clean shirt tomorrow night!

 

[WriterofWords]

LOL, I had an ex-husband like that. He would stay up watching TV or something else, I would wake him up in plenty of time to get going and just as I'm leaving "Honey could you???", umm nope, on my way out!

 

[DuckLady]

I have to giggle too.

My first husband was in the Air Force and had a bad habit of tossing his uniforms in the corner on his side of the bed.

Well, one day he was out of clean and sharply pressed uniforms and he learned to put them in the hamper.

 

[redhen]

Dont fall for his baby antics..
Dont make his lunch..and dont do his laundry..
it wouldnt stress me out in the least.. Just go about your day..
also your nicer than me..
I would have asked him if he wants his baby bottle of milk for when he takes his nap and i would have laughed in his face.... just to get him going..
... heeheee, i'm a trouble maker..

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Husbands and wives do things for each other all the time, and most of us don't keep score or even question it. It's part of loving someone. It's not your job to tell him what to do and when or how. And while making his lunch is not your job, why did you bother marrying him if what you really want is to be independent roommates?

 

[dichotomymom]

I agree that husbands and wives often bring skills/talents and favors to the table that balance out what the other does but sometimes it isn't evenly matched. That's when you start feeling taken advantaged of and resentful.

 

[OccamsTazer]

Huzzah, dichotomymom!
Doing random I-love-you things is always nice, but if I wanted a child, I'd have one!

I by no means keep score, but sometimes when things are so out of balance, one starts to notice, and one starts to resent. Then one has a frank discussion. If nothing happens, one resorts to guerilla warfare.
But I love the other one anyway

And there have been times when I've been the resented, not the resenter. It all evens out

 

[redhen]

Exactly,... But if things are expected...and someone tells me they are sick of my BS because i didnt do them for him...
well..then were gonna have a little problem..
it would be a cold day in 'you know where', before i did anything for a man that says they are sick of my BS... just saying..

 

[purr]

Quote:
Couldn't have said it better!!!!

 

[jenjscott]

Well, if its not too late already, a good sit down conversation might be a good idea. He sounds like he is used to you doing these things for him, and resents you stopping. These things have a way of escalating, and might be avoided with a good heart to heart. Explain to him how you feel about what's going on. Stay calm and discuss, not fight how to handle the situation. If you can't get through this without a fight, then perhaps counseling is in line. Communication is all important.