My family forgot my sons birthday

[Gmsg01]

I have a terrible time remembering birthdays, I am a bit of the family joke. Love all my siblings, just never remember to call/send card. For my boys (now 18 & 23), I've always had an informal get together. Never send written invites, do call the in laws. Sometimes they come, sometimes not. They still love the boys, but I am grateful that the kids are self confident enough that they don't need a card or gift to know they are loved. They have also learned that if you want someone to come somewhere or do something with you, you had better organise it ahead of time

. Taking charge of their own happiness, makes me very proud!

 

[NYboy]

I am very bad with remembering brithdays. My sisters now call me a few days before and say on sat night we are having a cake for so and so birthday can you join us.

 

[Julie08]

I have 4 step children, one homemade and 10 grand children, along with a house a farm a husband and a fulltime job! I love them all but I do forget birthdays.............

 

[wolftracks]

SarahFair I did the unthinkable this month, oops last month. My oldest grandchild turned 20! I forgot to call him. I thought about that birthday for months.Then it ended up being the day after the kids started school and I was running all over, but I had thought that it would help me remember. His birthday was the 11th and I was talking to one of my daughters on the phone and she asked if I ever called him. I was so sad I had forgotten. I got off the phone real quick and called him apologizing and trying him it was no excuse, but it just slipped right passed me. At first he was real quiet, which he is anyway, but even more so then. Then as we talked he loosened up a bit. Then he tells me "It's ok grandma. Next year it's more important. 21! Bar time!" Then he laughed when I'm like "OMG! NO!"

 

[kareninthesun]

It's easy for me to remember my grandkids birthdays, 3 of 5 share the same day, and all 5 are within two weeks. Family is important. I'm the oldest of 28 immediate cousins on my moms side, all but 2 girls. My moms mom is 1 of 10, all girls, and my great grandma was 1-13, all girls. We all grew up within three blocks of each other, and they never needed an excuse to get together. Money was always tough, but tuna sandwiches and koolaide were always on hand. My hubby's family are on the other side. Small and prone to either forget or play emotional games/favorites, my mil never let's go of grudges, ends her nasty opinions with it is her right to state stuff. Her gossip shows no means of stopping. Someone is always under her radar and nothing stops her. She refuses to communicate with my oldest son and his family because he will not allow her to talk badly to his family. She's not biologically her grandchild. She treats all inlaws the same way. She lived with us for two years when she was under financial diress, and we asked for no money sO that she could save her monthly checks. Not once did she go to my sons sports games, to his school awards programs, to his science fairs. Once when my nephew came over and we were going to Disneyland, in front of my son, she gave my nephew cash to spend. Although my daughter always sends her birthday and holiday cards, she never gets one back. She is grown now, but knowing that all the other kids but mine get them, she felt comfortable enough now to fess up...yeah, it hurts.

My oldest grandchild isn't biologically mine. Her biological dad died. She's been part of our family since she was two. I can't think of her as being anything but mine.

For family members whom do this as a norm, would you forget to pay your hous payment, taxes, car payment. Do you know the holiday and vacation dates? Write them on calendars, and at the top of each month write them again. Send the cards out at the beginning of each month. Put all family dramas aside and be big enough to not put yourself in the center of importance. But more than that, make time during the year to see these precious children through there eyes. Buy two books that you both can read together and communicate over, or tickets to see the same movie. If you have cell phones with the ability to pick up pictures, give them gift cards and go virtual shopping offering positive comments as they shop. Skyp! And do not judge. If you/they are not proactive, I can promise you that protecting our children from such will be mportant enough to protect them. My sons children have no other grandparents but us, and it breaks my heart to see the biasedness of such. All of my grandkids of schoolaged are honors students, involved in sports. Youngest in 2d year of college, excellent grades. Yet every conversation with her is about her, or negatives on family.

Ok, done venting...

 

[kareninthesun]

Apologizing for the grammar errors. Posting via phone and it is self correcting from the wee keys as I mis-hit wrongly.

 

[SarahFair]

After this happend I REALLY want to make it a point th never forget another family memebers birthday.
It really does hurt feelings when you feel like youve been forgotten..

I dont want to cause that on anyone

 

[wolftracks]

I have 28 grandkids. Some are my husband's kids kids, but most are from mine. They're all mine though.

Thing is, this was my first one. My buddy, until he discovered football and girls. I felt so horrible. It was like a week before I even called him. I know his feelings were hurt all that time, because I never forget him. What a birthday to forget too.

If someone hadn't mentioned it I would had probably gone all year without calling. My mind has been a mess the past year.

 

[kareninthesun]

He loves you! Of course you are forgiven! There's gonna be times when this does happen. Just before my mom was diagonsed with Alzheimers my sisters and I talked to her via phone to mark each day on the calendar with appropriate bdays and anniversaries. It was something we always cherish now, because she did exactly that, but one month early for each thing. Now we call each other up the month before on the date and wish each other 'whatever' and spend time sharing.

Things will advance quickly though when my daughter and son in law get pregnant. She's been told by specialists (no, not taking anything) that she's dropping between four to seven eggs each month. They want children, but are nervous.

 

[sumi]

Tell your son "Happy Birthday" from the whole BYC family