My poor little boy......needing advise...

[bheila]

This breaks my heart to hear about your sons situation

. My son was being bullied at school when he was in second grade. He told the teachers and they told the other students to stop. It of coarse continued. My son just kept telling the teacher and recess teachers. So finally my son got tired of it and took matters into his own hands. He didn't physically hurt anyone but he said some words that probably shouldn't have been said by a second grader. The bullying stopped and my son got sent home on suspension. I was furious that my son was the one who got in trouble. I spoke to the principle to let him know that my son would not be punished at home for being suspended and that my son staying home from school was just an extra vacation. I did talk to my son about the explicit words he used, but who can blame him. Kids can be so cruel. As a parent I have learned that you just have to be a squeaky wheel. I hope things get resolved

.

 

[77horses]

Why those stupid, mean, idiotic, and SELFISH kids!!!!! I hate bullies!!!!!!!

And the school should have taken care of this when they found out.

ok sorry about the rant.

i was just reading it and that's so sad! I'm sorry for both of you.

Some kids that like to bully are just....nevermind, you get the point.

not gonna say anymore!

Anyways, you NEED to do something NOW! Call the school and TELL them(don't ask them) but tell them that they have to do something about this!(not that harsh lol but make sure they listen) It's really REALLY unhealthy for your poor boy to be like this. I'm glad you found out about it!

Don't worry, you are a good mother. I've heard of some parents just say, "Oh don't be ridiculous! You're just being touchy! All you have to do is tell the teacher".

But luckily, I'm guessing you're not one of those parents.

So, call the school, set up a conference with the bully(s) and his/her parents, and principal or teacher(s), and let your son tell them what's going on. Give him lots of support!

I hope you figure this thing out and your son can have a more enjoyable time at school!

And if that bully keeps it up, tell him I'll be after him!

lol jk

Tell your son I said this if you want: "I'm sorry that you have been having a hard time lately, and I know how you feel.

But don't worry, it will be figured out soon! And if that bully keeps it up, tell your parents and the teacher/principal. Don't let that bully ruin your time at school! And don't let him make you think that school is horrible; it's not. It's a great place where you can learn, socialize with friends, etc. No bully can take that away!
I hope you feel better really soon! Now get some rest and a good meal and have fun!

"
-77horses

 

[Royicus]

I think the biggest thing you can do here is encourage your son. Let him know he's important and valuable. Try to boost his self confidence. Sports, activities, and clubs are one way that this can help him out. See if he can't find a group of people that he likes hanging around doing things that he enjoys.

You can't change the bully, but you can try to help your son respond to him better. Personally, I tended to ignore most verbal bullying, but defended against physical bullying. Once the bully gets embarrassed in front of his peers (and especially girls), they tend to go away

As far as the race thing goes, kids tend to make fun or exclude folks that are different. Heck, even the chickens do it! Stay strong and give him encouragement. I am mixed race as well, and it really shows. I think I have a pic up of me in the mugshot thread. When I get garbage from folks, I tend to ignore it. It isn't fun for bullies to make fun of someone and get no response.

I'm not sure if this will work with your family, but in mine, I was always taught to defend myself against force with force. With the "zero tolerance" policies in school, this could get your kid in trouble nowadays though, unfortunately.

Bullying can really make for some troubled times through the teenage years and beyond, so hopefully this can get resolved quickly and effectively. Best of luck to you and your son

 

[Bammony]

He'll be home any minute and I'll be able to talk to him some more about this. I hope this is over soon for his sake.

 

[mom'sfolly]

You need to talk to the school and have them take steps. This should not be tolerated, especially if it is older children picking on younger. The school has a responsibility to provide a safe environment.

Specific things you can do:
identify the bully
ask the school to send the bully to the counselor, not just your child
ask the school to provide a quiet place for your child to eat
ask them to monitor not only that he is getting the food, but that no one is interferring with him eating the food.
ask them for documentation on what they do to prevent bullying, find out the school's policies
document everything your son tells you
ask to meet with the teacher, the counselor and the administration to come up with an action plan.

You must be your child's advocate. Bullying is, in general, handled much better now then when I was in school. If the school says they can't do anymore, ask what they have done so far and what the procedures are.

 

[Suellyn]

I agree with Mom'sFolly's post, and with everyone else who is encouraging you to take action.

One thing that crossed my mind is, I wonder if the bullies harass any other children besides your son? If you find out that there ARE, then the parents of those children may be VERY valuable allies in addressing the "bully" issue and advocating for change.... Strength in numbers....

 

[RockyToggRanch]

Sorry, I skipped a few pages. I was bullied as a child. I know what's it's like. If I had any hint that my kids were being bullied, I would be the mom that shows up at lunch time and eats with the class. I would include the so called bullies and have some fun together, although I've always been the cool mom. 7 year old boys are easy.

 

[BayCityBabe]

mom'sfolly :

You need to talk to the school and have them take steps. This should not be tolerated, especially if it is older children picking on younger. The school has a responsibility to provide a safe environment.

Specific things you can do:
identify the bully
ask the school to send the bully to the counselor, not just your child
ask the school to provide a quiet place for your child to eat
ask them to monitor not only that he is getting the food, but that no one is interferring with him eating the food.
ask them for documentation on what they do to prevent bullying, find out the school's policies
document everything your son tells you
ask to meet with the teacher, the counselor and the administration to come up with an action plan.
.

Great suggestions! When my DD was bullied, her teacher started to suggest that SHE - DD- could handle it better, make it stop, suggested that the ball was in her court. I was glad I was in on that conversation, so I could put the kabosh on THAT! Some teachers will try to get out of addressing the issue of bullying. It is a tough thing to fix.​

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

I was bullied in school to the point where the other kids were throwing rocks at me. I was different because I rode horses. I didnt play soccer or soft ball. was it jealousy on the bullies part? Probably. But when you are a kid you dont care why they are doing it. You only know that it hurts.

I got the whole "turn the other cheek" "they are just miserable people" speech too. I also got the "find something you are good at and be proud of yourself" thing. My folks did nothing. said nothing to the teachers or the parents of the kids involved(neighbors!)

ah ha. I hated school. LOATHED it every day until I entered college. It affected my learning. It affected my self image. It affected most of my life. I made choices as I got older, that I KNOW I wouldnt have made if I hadnt been told all the above.

None of that is going to happen to my daughter. she is going to stand up for herself. And not turn the other cheek.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I'm going to add a couple more things that I thought of

talk to other parents in your child's classroom
ask for a day to monitor the classroom
visit at lunchtime, and have lunch with your kiddo
ask that the bully's parents be notified of an ongoing behavior issue
ask the prinicipal or the counselor to monitor the classroom

There was an ongoing bullying issue in my son's classroom two years ago. All the boys in the class were sent to the counselor to talk about bullying. I, a parent on a son in the classroom, was not directly told about this. My son told me sometime later. Needless to say, I was very unhappy. But they school took action, did not single out specific children, and the situation improved.