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Trimurtisan

Flying by the seat of my pants!
May 22, 2019
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A cypress swamp in FL
Howdy folks of BYC my name is Chris aka Trim.

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The main purpose of this thread is to create a safe place to let go of the stress of life. I know for myself just having someone to listen is often all I need. If this is something that does not appeal to you, I simply request that you move to a different thread. It's not going to be for everyone and that's okay. It would be great if nobody ever needed help, but some of us do so please be respectful. I have spoke with @Nifty-Chicken in regards to starting this thread and he was very supportive of it. If anytime a person here feels like they are being ridiculed or treated unfair I encourage to report the person and not to feed the trolls.

So...You might be wondering "Why in the world would I talk to this guy?" I can't say I blame you, so I'll share a bit about myself.

I am a 37 year old husband and father to 3 children, 1 of which does not live with me. I suffer from PTSD, depression, and bad anxiety. In my early thirties I was having some digestive issues, and decided to go in for an elective colon resection. To keep the story shorter, my 1 surgery turned in to 4 surgeries and left me very institutionalized. I had many adverse reactions with 2 incidents leading to me flat-lining. I would go for weeks at a time with no food, and my body was so compromised that I couldn't have physical contact with my own children. My normal walking weight is around 190# and I dropped down to about 130#. When I finally got out of the hospitals and was on my own I had a bad case of agoraphobia. Doing simple tasks like checking the mail was out of the question. I was terrified of anything and everyone. Just thinking about touching the front door would make my hands tremble and my heart rate would skyrocket. I'd have a full on anxiety attack without even doing anything. That's not all I dealt with, but paints a good picture. If you have any direct question pertaining to it feel free to ask, but I'm going to continue on. I have been able to address most of my issues, and still do on a regular basis through therapy and a persistent want to live a fulfilled life. In general, you might understand why I might understand.

On my main thread, The Quack Shack myself and some of the members there have had some great heart to hearts about life. People helping people is a beautiful and powerful tool that takes no skill to wield. I'll leave the members nameless for their own privacy, but I have no problem admitting they've helped me with troubles in my life. I mean hold my hand and wipe my tears kind of help. I like to think I've been able to do the same for some of them. For those who I'm speaking about, if you read this, thank you.

The point of this thread is not to be a suicide prevention, however I would like to add some info for those in need of such help. For starters I love you. People love you, and somebody needs you. It only take 10 seconds of bad judgement. Please think twice. If you feel the need to talk with someone about suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the national suicide hotline. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but they've saved many of live that might not be with us today. They can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.

For the time being, I've gotta get started on the chicken chores. If anyone has anything they'd like to get of their chest, please feel free to share. As a community of like minded people there's no good reason we can't help each other.
:hugs
 
Great thread!

Oh gosh @Trimurtisan you have been through far too much in life. :hugs But you sound like you have come a long way and that takes guts, determination and emotional growth, none of which are easy to put into action. I applaud you tremendously! :hugs

I too am no stranger to anxiety and depression and have suffered with it all my life. Its debilitating mentally and physically and keeps one from living the life you were meant to live. And unless a person has actually been in your shoes, walking a million miles in them, it's not easy to understand how difficult it is just to get through your day. Breathing can be a chore, I know!!

Hugs to all that contribute to this thread, :hugs as @chrissynemetz said, we can all use a hug once in a while.
 
Great thread!

Oh gosh @Trimurtisan you have been through far too much in life. :hugs But you sound like you have come a long way and that takes guts, determination and emotional growth, none of which are easy to put into action. I applaud you tremendously! :hugs

I too am no stranger to anxiety and depression and have suffered with it all my life. Its debilitating mentally and physically and keeps one from living the life you were meant to live. And unless a person has actually been in your shoes, walking a million miles in them, it's not easy to understand how difficult it is just to get through your day. Breathing can be a chore, I know!!

Hugs to all that contribute to this thread, :hugs as @chrissynemetz said, we can all use a hug once in a while.
Hi there TwoCrows! Thank you for the kind words. As I'm sure you know, each day is a new struggle, but one worth struggling through. I think you worded it perfectly about understanding another persons troubles.

I've been very lucky to have a great support group, but sadly not everyone has that. I know it can be a difficult subject to talk about, so I am hoping that putting myself out there might help relieve some of that difficulty. Thank you for putting yourself out there too. :hugs

Some people might think "that's not normal" but I think it is more normal than "normal" people think. ;)
 
Hi there TwoCrows! Thank you for the kind words. As I'm sure you know, each day is a new struggle, but one worth struggling through. I think you worded it perfectly about understanding another persons troubles.

I've been very lucky to have a great support group, but sadly not everyone has that. I know it can be a difficult subject to talk about, so I am hoping that putting myself out there might help relieve some of that difficulty. Thank you for putting yourself out there too. :hugs

Some people might think "that's not normal" but I think it is more normal than "normal" people think. ;)

This sort of thing IS difficult to talk about and share. It's human nature, animals too, to do our best to avoid looking weak in any way. So keeping this stuff buried deeply within is what we do to appear "normal". :D Sharing and talking is very therapeutic, you can actually learn more about yourself talking to others. Its soothing to get these emotions out of those dark recesses of our brains, share and help others. :)
 
Chris I absolutely love this thread! You have been one of those people for me on many occasions and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is nice to be able to share with others that can understand your anxiety and depression and not make you feel guilty for it. Great BIG hugs! :hugs
Misty I really appreciate that. I agree, it is nice to not be weighed down by others for having issues to deal with. I've enjoyed our time together here, and very much look forward to spending more of it with you.
 

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