New problems, need to vent

[HenParty]

I'm sorry this didn't go the way you wanted it too but stand strong and do what you know is right. I read about this last night and have been sending up thoughts and prayers for you, your niece & nephew, and your immediate family. And now I'll say a word of thanks for your aunt and the help and support she is offering.

Please update when you can because you have a great support system of folks here who are on your side.

 

[SpottedCrow]

Darn...I was hoping for a good update...
I'll still keep you and your family in my prayers.
I wonder if your brother would mind being visited by the ghost of a mean chicken...

 

[chickiepoo]

Zenbirder, Actually, I don't think a 14 would be allowed in the actual court room. That is what a guardian ad litem is for. If I read correctly there is a guardian ad litem assigned to this case, but was out of town! When that person gets involved in this case they will interview the children and all adults involved in the case and give their opinion in court as to what is in the best interest of the children. Depending on the laws of the particular of state and the judge, he/she may ask to speak to the children directly in the privacy of his chambers, but I'm not sure about that.

Also, if the sister-in-law is the mother, her rights are strong. I wonder who had primary custody of the children? Were they with their father full-time or was it his "visitation time". If they are separated, but not gone to court to establish these arrangement, that could be part of the problem.

Waiting for more news!

Thoughts and prayers are with you!

 

[fosterchick]

In Connectiut the child get a lawyer and a guardian ad litem. The lawyer fights for the childs want and the guardian ad litem fights for the childs needs. In this state I belive it is 13 (but might be 14), the child can tell the judge what they want. Check your laws in your state. you will need a lawyer that knows family law.

 

[Alleyoops25]

My sister in law is not the mother of the kids she is just another Aunt. Their mother is in jail for dealing drugs. She ran out on them about 8 yrs ago.

 

[chickiepoo]

Well, that sheds a totally different light on the subject! She has less familial relationship by far than you do!! My goodness, that means the father (your brother) has had primary custody of these children all that time! I have a better understanding of the situation now! That sister-in-law issue was my only concern. I thought she might be the mother! Even if she was that didn't mean she was the best custodian for the children, only that she does have leverage. However if Mommy is in jail, well that erases that issue.
Now, thank-you for clarifying that. My only advice at this time is...when you have contact with the case worker or the guardian ad litem be as non-confrontational as possible while still being direct. Tough, I know. You want to stay in their good graces. However, they both have superiors. If you feel at any time that you are not being treated fairly, document and go above their heads.

As a matter of fact, go back as far as you can and document anything that is relevant to this situation. By that I mean write down what happened in your own words and sign in and have a witness that is not related to you sign it. If possible someone who witnessed the exchange, but not necessarily. If someone else witnessed the situation or the conversation, have them write their take on the situation. Record conversations, if possible. Don't let anyone know that you are doing that if possible. It will not be admissable in court, but it can be transcribed and notarized. And will hold weight with the authorities involved. The case worker and the guardian ad litem. Also your attorney and his attorney would be very interested in those documents.

You said your brother has prior charges against him. Has he been convicted of anything? If he has...YEEHAW! That is admissable during the sentencing portion of the trial. As far as custody, get affadavits from the people who are witnesses in those situations. And if the documents are available to you as pending charges or convictions get copies of those. Again, I don't think they will be admissable in court, but the case worker and guardian ad litem could be influenced by them. Actually, in Family Court, any abuse charges or convictions could be admissable. I don't know. That isn't a criminal situation.

Get a good family court attorney. I repeat, make sure your attorney has family court experience. Check out also the situation in your local family court pro bono availability. If the father hasn't yet applied for pro bono representation, you can. I think. Pro bono means you don't pay.

Now you mentioned that your aunt is helping you. If you have choices on legal representation, then weigh that out.

Once again my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know I have been wordy, but you did ask!!

PLEASE... report back.

 

[Alleyoops25]

chickiepoo thanks for your thoughts and comments. In colorado tapes are amissable in court. And as long as one party knows that the call is being recorded its legal evidence. In fighting my own costudy case I did this and it hung my ex in court. The problem is that no one in my family will talk to me. My mom has told me the last time I had contact with her at the begining of this, and she told me that dhe thought my nephew and I were both liars. She also said that if I went any further with this she was willing to press the same kind of charges agianst me. I told her to bring it on. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and infact S>S services was already on their way to my house to make sure my home would be a safe place and that our children are also safe. I have already volunteered for drug testing, and had a back ground check ran. If she really wanted to try to acusse me of it in front of a judge she would be laughed out of court. I have also told her that I have no more use for her in our life since she has decided to sacrifice her grand children to protect her abusive son. I feel kind of sad really though. It is hard not being able to have contact with my Dad who is Handicapped, and really cant speak foe himself. It also hurts to think that I only have one family member that that I can trust and is willing to help my nephew. I am kind of going through a grieving proccess as if they have died. Does tis make since? I sent my mother a email last night before I deleted her off of my adress book and added her to my blocked sender list. I told her that she is not to come any where near myself or my family and told her that she better be saticfied with herself. I also told her that she better have taken enough pictures of the last time she had my daughter and that she better of had enough memories of my self, my DH, and children to lasr her a life time. Because this last week at the fair was going to be the last time she will ever see them. It hurts me so bad to do this but I can allow her to be apart of our life if she is so willing to rip my family a part for trying to help and protect her other grand kids from abuse and even death. I almost feel as if she has died, because the woman that I loved and trusred has died in a sense, and all that is left is a mean and evil monster. I also know that My mom wont allow me to have any relationship with my dad. and this last week was probably the last time I will ever get to see him either. And that breaks my heart, I have always been a Daddies girl, and he Is one of the people I love most in my life. I have tried to call him and no one will answer the phone or they just hang up on me. My Aunt that is helping me told me that every one is pointing fingers at me as being the bad guy, not my brother and his girl friend. I have been so depressed that I have lost my almost my entire family, and that my nephew is no longer where I can see and talk to him. And I can't promise that he is even OK because no one will allow me to speak to him either. This is the hardest thing I have evr dealt with and I am having the hardest time dealing with all these problems. I have been trying very hard to beleave that God will help me and my nephew, and every thing will be ok. I also think that all the stress is speedign up or making my A.S. even worse. I have been in some serious pain and have been shuffling around around like a 98 yr. old woman instead of a 25 yr. old. I gave my nephew a necklace before I had to give him up. It had a Eagle on it. I told him that it was our nations bird, and that it represented Strength, bravery , and freedom. I told him that now it also represents our bond and that through strength, and bravery, and fiath in God, that he will some day he and his sister will have freedom. And that he need to keep it on to remind him that even though we will not be able to see each other or even talk to one another he needs to be strong and know that I am not going to give up fighting for him. Before I gave him up I did some thing with him that he never had been able to do infront of anyone before. Out of all the kids in our 4-H group and friens of ours at the fair grounds all joined together in a tight circle and we each prayed for him and he felt so moved at the amount of people that came forward when they saw us in our circle and joined in. It was very moving for me as well. I know that I cant give up on him, and I have to stand strong agianst my own family if I am to bring justice to my brother for all the crimes he has done to my niece and nephew. I thank you for your help in this. It feels good that I have others around the Country that is supporting us at this time. I know that you guys wont let me stop with this either. So please keep praying for my nephew and neice. THeir names are Jeremy and Susan. And please dont stop praying for me because I am feeling really week right now. And agian thank all of you who do care about what is going on.

 

[chickiepoo]

Alleyoops, You have my greatest admiration.
Please keep us posted.
I totally respect you for what you are doing, but I can not imagine what you are going through fighting against your own mother,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Paula
P.S. please keep us posted

 

[Patchofheaven]

We are all praying for you and your family. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with so much stress and all of the different emotions that are hitting you all at once. Things always have a way of working themselves out in the end. Just remember that God is watching over you and so are your Chicken Friends.
Dana

 

[Judymae]

We are always here for you. If you need to just vent ~ start typing. We will always listen! Good luck! I'm praying for you and the kiddos!