prayer warriors (following Jesus Christ, everyone welcome)

[TwoCrows]

I do the exact same thing. Huge overthinker. We are very similar apparently. I do need to work on all that though. Do you overanalyze and/or dwell on the past? Cause I do. And beat myself up.

I do both, over think current things, however looking back on the past sends me spiraling. I just can't go there.

 

[ShrekDawg]

I do both, over think current things, however looking back on the past sends me spiraling. I just can't go there.

I can’t help but to look back on the past. And beat myself up. It’s part of the prison

 

[TwoCrows]

I can’t help but to look back on the past. And best myself up. It’s part of the prison

It's very difficult to harness the mind, it takes a strong person to reprogram it and when a person is depressed, it becomes even harder.

 

[ShrekDawg]

It's very difficult to harness the mind, it takes a strong person to reprogram it and when a person is depressed, it becomes even harder.

Yeah, it’s definitely very hard I’m on a lot of meds which help a little bit but not fully. I still beat myself up every day. For all the mistakes.

 

[TwoCrows]

Yeah, it’s definitely very hard I’m on a lot of meds which help a little bit but not fully. I still beat myself up every day. For all the mistakes.

I was on anti anxiety and anti depression drugs for a while, they made me much worse, near suicidal. I got off them, withdrawal from these drugs can nearly kill you. Try to forgive yourself, only we are keeping score, no one else is.

 

[ShrekDawg]

I was on anti anxiety and anti depression drugs for a while, they made me much worse, near suicidal. I got off them, withdrawal from these drugs can nearly kill you. Try to forgive yourself, only we are keeping score, no one else is.

Unfortunately, I need them lol for me, I’m much worse without them. But it took a while to find the right ones. Some of them did make me worse. But now I’ve found good ones. I used to be extremely manic and angry and stuff but now I’m a lot more stable. I’m still suicidal though but less so on the meds. Before meds, I did attempt. Thankfully wasn’t successful. And thanks! I’ll try.

 

[TwoCrows]

Unfortunately, I need them lol for me, I’m much worse without them. But it took a while to find the right ones. Some of them did make me worse. But now I’ve found good ones. I used to be extremely manic and angry and stuff but now I’m a lot more stable. I’m still suicidal though but less so on the meds. Before meds, I did attempt. Thankfully wasn’t successful. And thanks! I’ll try.

Great that you found what works for you! Sometimes we have no choice. Don't try to be perfect, just do the best you can for you, don't compare yourself to anyone else, just be you.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Great that you found what works for you! Sometimes we have no choice. Don't try to be perfect, just do the best you can for you, don't compare yourself to anyone else, just be you.

Thank you! And yeah, I wish I had a choice but I once went like a week without my meds and it was BAD. I was way way worse. And before I went on them, I was too. And the first few meds I tried, turned out they were making me way worse too according to the doctor at the hospital and he immediately took me off of them. So it took a while. But now I’m doing a lot better. But still feels like a prison since I keep beating myself up.

 

[TwoCrows]

Thank you! And yeah, I wish I had a choice but I once went like a week without my meds and it was BAD. I was way way worse. And before I went on them, I was too. And the first few meds I tried, turned out they were making me way worse too according to the doctor at the hospital and he immediately took me off of them. So it took a while. But now I’m doing a lot better. But still feels like a prison since I keep beating myself up.

I didn't want to try any new drugs although they were offered. I can't say I am better off them but I'd rather not take anything. I suppose if they made me feel normal, I would have stayed on them. I think it's just the way we are wired up, some people look positively on life, others see it as a negative experience. It can also be inherited from our parents. My dad was extremely depressed and attempted suicide a few times over his days. My mom was a big ball of anxiety ready to explode. I got a double whammy going in my head. Again, it's not easy to change our thought patterns about ourselves or our lives.

 

[ShrekDawg]

I didn't want to try any new drugs although they were offered. I can't say I am better off them but I'd rather not take anything. I suppose if they made me feel normal, I would have stayed on them. I think it's just the way we are wired up, some people look positively on life, others see it as a negative experience. It can also be inherited from our parents. My dad was extremely depressed and attempted suicide a few times over his days. My mom was a big ball of anxiety ready to explode. I got a double whammy going in my head. Again, it's not easy to change our thought patterns about ourselves or our lives.

That’s understandable! I never wanted to be on meds either but then I tried them and realized I’m much better on them. Now I’ve accepted it’s just how I’m wired and how my brain chemistry works and that I need the meds to help fix/balance the chemicals out. For some people they do fine off the meds and that’s fine too. But for me, I need them. I was doing extremely reckless and dangerous things. Speeding (like REALLY speeding), drinking (never drinking and driving though), spending tons, etc. plus of course the attempt. That was a very impulsive decision. I also would get extremely angry and snap at everybody. I need the meds lol now I am much calmer and under control than I was last year.

And yeah, I get it from both sides. My dad I’m pretty sure has anxiety and maybe a touch of depression but idk. His dad was also an alcoholic and died young. But my mom’s family really has the mental health stuff. She had bipolar we’re pretty sure but never took meds. Also bad depression and anxiety. And alcoholism to self medicate. My grandpa had anxiety and maybe a little OCD. I think my uncle has some of the OCD and/or anxiety too. My aunt had a stint of bad depression and thoughts for a bit. And has anxiety still. Not sure if my other aunts and uncles have anything. But basically, anxiety runs through her whole family. My one cousin and her kids have anxiety too.

So I’m double whammied on anxiety and alcoholism.