Random Griping About My Evil Monster-In-Law... Long Post, Sorry!

[Camelot Farms]

Sonoran is right on with that...Her hubby is NOT the only one who can make that happen. In most states, all it takes is a concerned person to make a call...the police and the contracted local mental health provider make a visit and they can order a 24 or 72 hour evaluation. Especially if the person has made threats to themselves or others.

 

[schellie69]

reading this post makes me so happy that my DH stood up to his mom and sister 16 years ago shortly after we were married and told them that I was his wife and they would respect me for being his wife or he would cut all ties with them end of story and it has worked they have never said another bad word to me now his other family members have always liked me and treated me like part of the family so I am really lucky that he did stand up and hopefully your DH can stand up to his mother and you can all have some kind of normal family life. I would look into getting your mother in law into a mental health examine and you can call the police and report the threat good luck and keep us updated praying for you and your family.

 

[squeakyballs]

Hooray for your husband finally taking your side

Also, I just thought of a phrase that might be helpful if you talk to her again and she starts to argue: "I'm sorry, but this topic isn't open for discussion"

 

[Qi Chicken]

I'm so glad to hear that your husband has agreed with you. But, not to be a downer,

the hard part is NOT the agreeing, it is the follow through. He can't make rules and let her break them because it is easier not to confront her. This is how you train someone not to respect you. I see it with kids (and sometimes my own!) when I'm too tired to enforce the rules.

Make a list of what you will accept in your life from here on out. WRITTEN DOWN. The written down part is important. !!!! Not more than 10 or so things that cover most possibilities.

The one I think is most important is that the kids are NEVER with her without you there, NEVER talk to her without you there. MIL is a MASTER manipulater and your DH will be more easily manipulated and may not see warning signs that you do.

Make sure you BOTH know (you and your DH and also the MIL) what will happen if any of these rules are broken. If she disrespects you do you end all contact for x amt of time? Forever? Give her one warning?? and then the next time it is NO contact forever? If one rule is broken is it only phone visits? Don't compromise because you feel so glad DH is standing up for you. You will never get a better shot at this.

This seems a little bit crazy but you don't want gray areas. Not for her and not for your husband. She does not understand gray areas. This is now a black and white situation.

I can see your point about not wanting your husband to have custody with her nearby. I have never tried to commit anyone. I don't know if you need documentation or how much. This might be a good thing to find out.

How does your DH plan to explain the new situation to your MIL? Letter? Phone? In person? Whatever you decide be prepared for crazy, maybe not when you give her the rules but when you actually follow through. Although I'd be prepared for crazy anytime really.

If she has said she wants to shoot her husband does she have a gun?

Man, I hope this works out for you. Please keep us posted.

 

[Mattemma]

Since your dh confronted her it is obvious he acknowledges her inappropriate behavior.Unfortunately it sounds like he backed off and is now ignoring it since the behavior is not directed at him.

My suggestion,if it were my situation, would be to say to dh," Listen sweetie, I know how difficult it was/is for you to confront your mom about her behavior.I REALLY appreciate that you did that for me.That you tried to bring some peace in the relationship,but it did not work. If you do not want to put a stop to it by talking to her again then I will have to do it myself. I am literally getting physically ill from what your mother is doing to me. If your mother can not control herself I will cut her out of our lives.You are free to visit her,but she will no longer have the right to be with the children as it could lead to emotional issues for them. If you don't agree with this then we should take it up with a counselor,and see what they think about your mother,and how her actions affect the entire family."

Really,even if you avoid her the kids also need too.She sounds like the type that will say things to the kids about you.Or just say/do things that are not good for the kids.

If the situation was not resolved I would probably leave my husband.I would not want too,but living as you are waiting for the MIL to die so I could finally live...just to much.Life is hard and short as is.I would seperate from dh because I would need to show him I am serious.No more BS and tolerating this another day longer.It is done.Had a enough.And MIL had enough time to get her *stuff* together.Dh could go live with his mum because by allowing the behavior he is condoning it.

Wishing your family some peace.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
Are you our counselor????!!!! Scarey, she said the same thing as well about my mother and hubby....they just dont see eye to eye on things but it sure does put into perspective as a couple and how we would deal with inlaws on both sides of our family.

 

[hoosier]

Quote:
Remember that your children are watching and learning . . . What sort of relationships do you want them to see?

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Watching and saving this thread

 

[chickenzoo]

Wow....................... I think I'd be installing some Holy water by the door and keeping a wooden cross handy..... or a silver bullet.....

 

[acid_chipmunk]

I swear your MIL and MIL are the same person!!!!! She has done just about everything to my family as your MIL has done to yours. Only difference is, hubby knows what she is like and moved out of her house when he was 17 just to get away from her. A couple years ago, hubby finally laid down the law with her, when she told him that I ruined her family. We both let her have it after that one! My daughter is going to be 6 next month and she has yet to make it to one of her birthday parties. She works full time, but uses her vacation time to work carnivals in food trailers, and they are ALWAYS more important than my daughters birthday. Her and my Mom almost came to blows at my wedding, when she told my Mom that she was acting like a juvenile because she was doing shots with us. This was after she refused to come out of the house and be seated for the wedding because she wasn't allowed to hold our son during the ceremony (my BIL held him, as he was best man and standing next to hubby) It has been over 11 years and things still aren't great. I steer clear of her as much as I can, just so we don't get into a fist fight.


I hope that your hubby does what he said and goes along with what you want. Those kids need to be FAR away from her!



OH, btw, my ringtone for her on my cell is "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" from Wizard of OZ. My FIL (who is divorced from her and whom I love) thinks it is hilarious!