*rant* Please tell me im not the only 1....

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Stress. Its the answer. He likely feels like he is not doing good enough as a provider and it gets to him. That in return makes him very touchy and results in a fight.

 

[hikerchick]

I used to date a guy like that. It got tiresome.

Now I am dating a guy who doesn't do that.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

I really hate'ed reading this thread. Seriously. Everyone was so quick to give up and tell you to give up. Escaping a relationship is not always the best answer.
Seriously guys if she wanted to leave him she would have already. Stop telling her to just throw in the towel.
Relationships are not perfect. So what some of you have good relationships right now. But has it always been that way? Do you know if it will continue to be that way? I highly doubt it. As people are not perfect.
Instead of coping out on him, be a deicent wife and mother. Work through the problems with your head held high. He obviously has issues. Be what your suppose to be in his life. His partner. And help him deal with those issues. Running away from things will just lead you to a lonely death.

 

[lengel]

My DH does the same thing. Oddly it's because he has bad associations with almost every major holiday from when he was a child. I finally pieced it together after ten years of marriage - he doesn't understand that holidays were meant to mark life events and celebrate at all. These were just incredibly stressful events for him because of negative things in his family at those times - no money to celebrate, parental affairs which ruined Thanksgiving, half siblings who needed a place to stay and be unhappy because they had nowhere else to go on on holidays and then his dad died just before his birthday which happens to be right around Christmas.

Today we will go to visit his mom and he has been miserable and short tempered for two days. It's Mother's Day and she's in a nursing home and he feels helpless. We will take the plant that I picked out and spend some time with her until she gets tired then we will go home and go on with our lives. It's unfortunate but I have given up on trying to turn holidays into something happy for him so we make other days special instead. We used to fight all of the time just before any holiday including my birthday because he would get so angry several days in adavnce. Now we just work around it.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Well, given a choice between spending my life with someone who is miserable and someone who is happy, I choose the happy guy. I don't think this makes me a bad person.

 

[Run-A-Muck Ranch]

Quote:
oh my...I thought I was the only one who had a husband like this....(Maybe they're twins).....

 

[Lil_Chickadee]

I think the reason that most family fights occur around a Holiday is because many times we have too high of an expectation for said Holiday. It doesn't matter which one. Too high of an expectation causes stress for all parties envolved and instead of having a day of rest and relaxation it turns out to be an unhappy event. Most times I don't like to make a whole lot of plans for a Holiday, we just play it spontanious. They usually turn out so much better that way. If I work myself up into a cooking, cleaning, planning freezy so everthing will be "perfect" it never is.

 

[BellLisamo]

Quote:
well i usually run to my moms as well, but i think he purposely ticks me off to have alone time, because i take the kids with me to my moms

 

[BellLisamo]

Quote:
well a few have mentioned couseling... and i think i will call someone on monday.... im just not prepared to talk much, it always results in tears

 

[lengel]

Does he have any idea of why he does this?