***RANT & VENT***

[halo]

You say he's making as much money on unemployment as you are. Then he can afford rent...somewhere else. Ive seen too many of these situations, and they all ended up badly. Move him out into his own place; find an apartment for him to rent. Pay his first month or two if you have to. But GET HIM OUT. He will start to steal from you, if he hasnt already. And his friends will help him. I promise you that.

You think the dog is the problem? Think again.

 

[joebryant]

You shouldn't make him pay rent? He's an addict, and he needs his money for drugs, and he needs to be free and fed daily, as does his dog. After all you are his sister, you know, so you should be caring and understanding of your sibling; you do have a Christian responsibility to a blood relative, you know. Your husband has the same responsibilities to your brother; after all, he did marry into your family, and no family wants their relatives who are bums out on the streets when they can have him/her/it/(all of them) in their home. Just remember, if you'd buy him a car and some gas, he wouldn't be hanging around the house so much. He could go out to find a girlfriend and move her in with you. Maybe she'd help take care of him and the dog. Maybe she would bless you with a niece(s) and/or nephew(s). Maybe he'll see the error of his ways and take care of you after you've had your nervous breakdown(s). After all, he IS your brother.

 

[FLOWERPOT]

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[Intheswamp]

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Not to me. Something about that post just doesn't seem funny.

 

[Crickett]

As someone once said (I think it was Elenor Roosevelt) "No one can make you feel bad without your permission." The flip side of that coin is "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." He has been allowed to put you in this position. Now as I see it, you have two choices. Continue as you are and cry about it, or DO something. And if you choose to do something, trust me on this, you will feel guilty; and you will cry. But if you don't do anything, you will 1. Lose everything you have worked so hard for; 2. lose any love and respect your brother may have for you; 3. lose your brother. The choice is yours. I have had to make this decision myself, and it was very difficult. I chose my life over my sibling. Yes I felt guilty, yes I cried about it. But in the end, I'm a saner person. As for my sib? He moved in with someone else and made their life miserable.

 

[Zookeeper9000]

My heart bleeds for you, they said it all to you. Now you have to make a choice.

I let my twin brother stay with me once for just a few days and that is all it was a few days. In those few days he got my 8 year old daughter onto drugs and set her up to deal for him. He set up about 8 of the young neices and nephews to deal for him. Well 10 years ago my 18 year old neice was killed in a freak accident. Truth be told it was not a freak accident. Both her and my daughter was getting out and cleaning up their act. He caused the accident that killed my neice.

He would try to run us off the road and would shoot at my daughter (who was 14 at the time) when she was on the back porch of the foster care home she lived in. Yes I put her in a foster home and she never lived with me after that either. I had 3 other children at home and they were following the rules and doing everything they could to be a responsable adult some day and they deserved to be put first. Was it hard yes, did I do the right thing yes. I still seen her but would not help her with items or money or food. She found a way to get drugs she could get everything else she needs. Tough love yes it was, I was a single parent and what was really tough is that my sisters and Mom was not behind this because that sweet cute little girl couldn't be on drugs. I still stuck to my guns.

At 19 she OD'D on cocain, she came to me the next day and asked me to take her to treatment, she asked my sister that gave me the toughest time to come with. When they asked me and my sister to wait in the waiting room my daughter said NO, I need my Mom here she is my memory, and I need my Aunt here because she needs to hear that my Mom was not lying about my drug abuse.

She is 25 now and is still clean, but it is a struggle everyday for her to stay clean, that never goes away. She is a Mom now herself and is a great Mom. But she had to give up all her friends and even the family that she partied with in order to stay clean.

But as hard as it was to put her in foster care it was worth it. She will tell everyone that if I wouldn't of been so tough on her she would of been dead before she hit 16. She thanks me about once a week for loving her enough to do the hard thing.

Guilt rode my shoulder every step of the way when I was fighting for my daughters life, faith got me through it. It still isn't easy to live with but I know I did the right thing.

I pray that you find the strengh to put the needs of your family before the needs of your brother. Make him accountable for his action. Feeling sorry and wanting to help is fine until it enables a bad behavior. My advice after having lived thru this is to save your family and yourself, your brother will survive or he won't, but you putting your family at risk is not going to save him or help him.

We learned that lesson the hard way, we had to bury a 18 year old girl. Hope you never have to experiance that.

God Bless you, I will be keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Oh and in case your wondering, my brother was picked up the week after we buried my neice for hauling drugs in New Mexico and yes it took a week to get the info on him and I made the calls that resulted in that.

He is clean now, he isn't talking to me but he is clean.

 

[horsejody]

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Not to me. Something about that post just doesn't seem funny.

I don't think it was intended to funny. I'm sure it was sarcasm. Sometimes a little sarcasm can help people see the ridiculousness of a situation. He is a bum because he can be. The only solution is to throw him out. Tough love.

 

[enola]

Mrs. Glassman, How are you today ? I don't care how your brother and his dog are. . . . (unless of course, your brother has seen the error of his ways)

How are you ? I was up most of the night with my BF, he has some severe health issues and was sick most of the night.....

But, I spent a lot of time wondering about how you and your family are doing.....

 

[Gazinga]

Quote:
Not to me. Something about that post just doesn't seem funny.

I don't think it was intended to funny. I'm sure it was sarcasm. Sometimes a little sarcasm can help people see the ridiculousness of a situation. He is a bum because he can be. The only solution is to throw him out. Tough love.

I dunno, i found it pretty darn funny! Sarcastic, but funny, and so so so true!!!! on the money Joe! throw his lazy but out on the cold street!

 

[Castaway]

Shoot your brother, not the dog.

Seriously, most people can recount at least one occasion where a relative took advantage of our kindness. If I were in your shoes I'd tell my sibling, in so many words, that I'm going to 'burn the village in order to save it'.