Scammed by a buyer; what to do?

[WannaBeHillBilly]

This makes me so mad! Especially because i know that you don't have an easy time right now and that somebody tries to rip you off, i could go off like Taz!

What i have learned during my life is, that people who have a real problems, like having cancer are either too ashamed to ask for help or they are direct and ask you straight forward if you can help them with their particular issue (cancer i.e.). Those are the cases in which i am willing to help and i will go full throttle.

Everything else is a scam! People rarely forget your wallet when buying something really important for them and their kids (like duckies) and then later "discover" that they have a serious health issue (like cancer) when you're supposed to finally pay for what you bought. This just doesn't happen! She is trying to rip you off!
It is like those people at the intersections of a major road and an Interstate here, holding up a cardboard sign "Disabled veteran! Hungry! Please help! God bless you!" - It should make god punish them!!! Most of them have their cars parked at the nearby fast-food restaurant. I have seen it over and over and it makes me angry!
Now what about the ducks: On one hand it would be kind of cruel (for the ducks) to take them away from an environment they just became accustomed to. Ducks don't like changes in their life. - On the other hand: If she is really that sick and financially broken, how can she provide for the animals. Ducks literally eat a lot of money.
Can you stuff Erik into a leather jacket, making him look really mad and dangerous, then you two walk to that "ladies" door and »kindly« ask her for a resolution? - Money or the ducks? - That's what i would do here, except that i would wear that leather jacket and it has a bump on the chest, where others would carry their gun… - In my case it would be a packet of M&Ms…
I can't believe this! There are so many bad people around! Now using cute ducks!

 

[Loopeend]

Everything else is a scam! People rarely forget your wallet when buying something really important for them and their kids (like duckies) and then later "discover" that they have a serious health issue (like cancer) when you're supposed to finally pay for what you bought. This just doesn't happen! She is trying to rip you off!

I kind of know but somehow don't want to know. Thanks for telling me that in my face. She had her phone with her; we have this thing where at every moment at every place you can through internet give someone 70 euro's in 2 seconds. Every person in the Netherlands at every time with every phone. Wallets are a thing of the past. I just.. was fooled. Or big-time naïve. I don't know; it went all so fast and I am a pleasing person. I feel the need to help people; so if they have lost their wallet I offcourse say "no problem!" and stop thinking logical due to being in "helping mode".

Afterwards it sounds so logical.

"Erik" (other readers; that's the name of my partner, thanks hillbilly for sharing that lol) is born with his own handicap; the male version of RBS. (resting uuh.. witch.. syndrome). He does not need a leather jacket. He already has a face and look of a criminal haha! But he has offered to go with me; he will be a good candidate; he has this natural "intimidating" look that often has not worked in his favour; but the kindness that he will not get angry himself. And he is male.

 

[BarredRockMom]

I feel bad for your situation, I have been there MANY TIMES with my own business.
The only thing that I have found to work is to send a polite phone call, AND text AND email, explaining that you understand that things happen, but there was an agreement and she must pay for the ducks or return them. If she needs more time to pay, you can take half now and half next week or arrange something else that works.
“Killing with kindness” has worked for me, Getting mad or rude will only make her get defensive and you’ll never see anything. And you do learn over time to pick out the bad people and make your own excuse not to sell to them!

Oh and I also have a list of bad customers..those are names I don’t want to forget!
Good luck

I don't know what your court system is like (or if you're likely to pursue it that far,) but in USA accepting a partial payment without any written agreement in place amounts to a lot more headache & hassle trying to get the (rightful) remainder. Courts can look at a partial payment as your tacit agreement to accept that amount & call it paid.

If you're not moving forward with this, consider moving on, take it as a lesson learned the hard way & save yourself any further aggravation.

And it's not about putting up walls it's about discernment. If it seems off, doesn't sound right, seems too good to be true that's your little voice telling you that there's a problem.
You can't fix the past but you can try to do better going forward.

Last time I checked, no one gathered around the fire was laughing about how many people they ripped off. And that is precisely why everyone isn't gonna make it to the dance. Helping someone should be your choice...so choose to turn this into "I involuntarily helped & am moving on" or get your money.

 

[FortCluck]

I would get local law enforcement to go with you. She stole from you and I would take the ducklings back. If she can't afford the ducklings, chances are they're not being cared for correctly. Please get the ducklings back and I would ask for money first the next time you sell ducklings to someone. Never trust anyones word! If she does have cancer that isn't an excuse to not pay for something. I feel like she may have used that to make you feel bad and have you get off her back. If she does have cancer then I feel sorry for her, but she still owes you either the money or the ducklings.

I'm sorry this happened to you

 

[Loopeend]

BarredRockMom and FortCluck; it's circles again. There is no legal system or law enforcement or small court law or anything! I love learning that you guys have that; but it just does not excist here (yet; you give me the feeling it would be good to try to implement that over here).You have to solve it yourself. Without doing something criminal.

No back-up. police or legal.

 

[Loopeend]

On the RBS syndrome; it was BRF syndrome; need to share it; am sure a lot of people on here can recognise :')

 

[BarredRockMom]

I understand. Sounds like it's time to implement Plan RBF, go get your money, go get the ducks or move on.

That really stinks that you're in this predicament. And there are plenty of Karmic laws rolling around in the universe. I'm pretty sure that ripping people off then pretending to have a serious medical issue just guarantees that you are indeed going to have several very real medical issues. I have watched Lady Karma kick her cosmic sized boot in several people's arses & watched the shock & horror on their faces when she beach slaps 'em from the other direction.

So we can pretty much guarantee that:
1 )You are not going to get your money,
2) You're probably not going to get your ducks,
3) She's a liar, thief & all around ashole,
4)She's about due for a cosmic ash whooping,
5)A cosmic beach slap,
6)And to start off her medical troubles,
she's about to develop a persistent cough from leather that Lady Karma's boot left behind (ha ha, no pun intended...but that's funny!).

She can either cough up your money, cough up the ducks or keep trying to cough up that shoe leather.

Personally, I hope she gets slapped so hard it knocks her kids onto the right path, because SHE'S certainly not showing them the right way to do things!! (And no, I am not saying that the kids deserve any kind of punishment. Give 'em a big enough sign and they'll be smart enough to figure it out!)

 

[Cryss]

Did you save the emails/texts/whatever between you two? Seems that could be evidence.

 

[Ratchnick]

After reading your posts about ringing, I wonder if she put her own band or someone elses (a friend's) band on your ducks. Would this restore their value?

 

[Shezadandy]

On the RBS syndrome; it was BRF syndrome; need to share it; am sure a lot of people on here can recognise :')

If she doesn't make tracks to her forgotten wallet when you stop by to 'check on the ducklings' with your partner, and/or work an immediate and direct trade by providing you with the equivalent in feed she's probably got sitting around - I'd have to agree with @BarredRockMom that it's a lost cause.

I would politely inquire about how she's doing with her cancer treatments, side effects and what not. This could be seen as out of bounds, but her response to you when demanding payment was "I have cancer." I would almost hope the kids answer the door and/or be within earshot- because it was fine with her for them to be there for the FIRST part of the scam. Maybe your stopping by will put that 'oh no' feeling into their bellies!

A witness helps- recording the entire interaction on your phone (should she phone the police to claim you're trespassing) - and have written copies of your agreements on your person, along with a consolidated sheet with all written communications, time/date stamps from emails, texts etc. Then you can wait off her immediate property with your well-documented situation.

None of these are comfortable things to do, far easier to suggest than to actually do.​

The other weapon, of course- and I don't know how this translates across cultures, but word of mouth on what was done to you to mutual acquaintances- however distant - like a friend whose kids are in the same activities with this woman - can serve to educate others on how to deal with her (no 'I owe you' dealings) -- and it could bring to light how she's scammed others. People willing to treat you this way have wronged others, guaranteed. The worst thing for a con artist is to be found out and exposed.

Now, @Tycine1 has a great profile signature with a different take that I love: "If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again, it was money well spent."