Sleep talking! Post your looniest statements...

[mom'sfolly]

In the winter, when we lived in the north, I had notoriously cold feet. It would take a very long time for them to warm up after I had gone to bed. Many nights the dear, poor man allowed me use his body to warm them. One night, he came home when I was already in bed, and asleep. He was informed that "my toasties greet you". We figure I must have been informing him that my feet were warm...it has become a stock phrase at our house.

The weirdest was when I cam to bed after dh was already asleep. He seemed to wake up, and he didn't recognize me, was terrified, and asked who I was. He looked more afraid than I have ever seen anybody look, absolutely terrified! I just kept saying "its me, its me, its okay". It freaked both of us out, badly.

 

[Draconargentum]

Oh gosh... So many to choose from...

Allegedly when I was little, I would sleepwalk- once my mom woke up to a loud thud and found me asleep and missing my pajama pants in the bathtub- and sing in my sleep. My half-brother tells me that once he heard a six-year-old me singing "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks (and badly, he does not shrink from adding; I would come into his room and listen whenever it was on his cd player) at three in the morning.

More recently, a dear friend was staying with me over Christmas and New Years, and tells me that I once flailed in the middle of the night and yelled, "They're NOT supposed to SPARKLE!" before hissing (like a cat, she said,) rolling over and snoring.

When this same dear friend managed to get a dry socket after having her wisdom teeth removed, she was prescribed Hydrocodone (sp?) for the pain. To this day we have not figured out how she managed to get her pants draped over the upstairs television while she was passed out on the pull-out couch in her basement.

Also, when a group of us were hanging out at a friend's house who had recently changed her interior decorating, one of our number fell asleep. About an hour later, after conversation had shifted to other things, he sat bolt upright, pointed at the far wall and exclaimed like Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandments, "Chaaange the decorations!" There was just enough time for everyone to turn and stare at him and for someone to ask "what?" before he flopped over sideways and curled into the fetal position, dead asleep.

 

[Princess Poppycock]

My in laws are Hispanic. We were visiting one day and I fell asleep on the couch, and my MIL was trying to wake me up. Apparently I was conversing with her in perfect Spanish...


The catch is, I don't speak Spanish! It was really weird. Facinating what the brain can do!


Poppy

 

[Cheepy-cheeps]

It's so nice to know I'm not alone. As a kid I sleepwalked a bit. I scared the be-jeezus out of my aunt several times when she'd go to the kitchen for a snack, turn on the light, and find me sitting on the kitchen table with my ankles crossed and swinging. Other times, there were furtive searches in the living room toy box for specific toys or comics. The best sleep walking was when I was about 8 and woke up in the hotel parking lot! I went back to the room door to find someone had locked it behind me. My mom and stepdad were awakened to me knocking on the door begging them to let me back in.

I still talk in my sleep all the time. My fiance likes to converse with me which usually wakes me up afterwards. "You need to be more observant!" I apparently said this in "that" tone of disapproval and annoyance to my fiance it is also one of my main complaints. I woke him up giggling in my sleep one night, "what's so funny?" I said, "He went full on bimbo." I woke myself up saying "Llama, llama, llama" one night. Oh and "You can't trust the aspirin." Fiance said, "why?" "The blue things told me."

It runs in the family. Once, my brother and sister were driving me nuts and it was past their bedtime but they wouldn't go when I told them. My mom had fallen asleep in the easy chair. I shook her shoulder a little bit, "mom, the kids need to go to bed but they won't listen to me." She tells me, "Ok, just put them on the table." I just stood there and thought about how I'd manage that without them throwing a fit...

 

[Cetawin]

Oh boy...okay here goes.

Many moons ago, I had a lot on my plate...working full-time, going to law school and being a single mother...I was cramming for finals and preparing for a 3 week trial (my job as a paralegal at the time) and had not slept in literally 3 days. I fell asleep at my desk in my home office and my son, aged roughly 7 at the time, wakes me up as he had been instructed to do if he saw me sleeping...I sat straight up, looked at him and said "Merry Christmas...the bananas are in the cupboard" and promptly collapsed onto the desktop again. Now some 20 years later he still teases me about it but I have absolutely no recollection of it at all.


My father told me that when I was 5 years old I woke him in the middle of the night and said "Daddy, Grandpa was here and said goodbye to us" and I turned and went back to bed never waking up. My grandfather died that night. So, I have no clue about that one.

I suffer very vivid, portent type dreams...but I always remember them in vivid detail. If I am talking in my sleep and it has anything to do with some male from my past (ex-husband or an old boyfriend), my husband says that I immediately switch languages and begin speaking in my native language which he does not know.

Guess I have a great defense/self-preservation mechanism.

 

[PineappleMama]

Considering it took DH a good ten years to finally tell me that when I'm sick I snore like a girl... well maybe in another 8 or so he'll tell me if I talk in my sleep.

He does it often enough... really weird stuff... funny too... but since I WAS asleep, and went back to sleep I never remember it. Very frustrating... but I do wake up with a smile on my face so that's something.

Sis was bad about that too, but she'd just be having a conversation... weird thing is with her eye thing back then... well it wouldn't close all the way and I was on that side and below (she jumped on MY bunk until it broke and I got stuck with the trundle) so I'd be sitting there chatting with her for who knows how long before she'd snore and I'd feel like an idiot.

I'm fairly good at controlling my dreams... just slide into the dream you want to dream. Then REM hits and I don't remember squat. Works most the time, though now and then I'll have bad funeral type ones about DH and wake up freaked out of my gourd... usually when I've recently attended a funeral, thankfully not too often or I'd be (even more of) a basketcase.

 

[bakerjw]

I was restless one night and my wife shook me to see if I was alright. I snapped to and told her "Don't worry Shelley, my wife's not home."

I had some explaining to do the next morning. The only Shelley that I knew was a girl from work who I couldn't stand.

 

[Smoky73]

The funniest thing I ever said was MANY years ago with one of my ex's. I was expecting my first shipment ever of chicks in the mail that AM. I had heard the phone ring I think. Half asleep, I turned to him and said "you need to go to the post office and pick up the silverware....." he asked me "What?" I said "the silverware, it needs to be picked up NOW"

With my husband today, a few years ago, (not a story about sleeping things) I was trying to give a reference of what it would feel like to probably hit a cow with a car if you came down a road and one was standing int he middle during the night.... deer is one thing, cows are another story. Anyway, I told him I felt it would be a lot like hitting a walrus.....he laughed and said oh yes, because we just have so many walrus running amuck outhere. LOL. To this day, 10 years later, we still use the walrus thing as a reference for alot! We even have a statur of a walrus in our fishtank....we named him "Russ".

 

[herfrds]

Mine is telling my DH,"Something took a chunk out of Chester's butt." (his horse)

I cannot remember what his is, but I do remember I started laughing out loud.

 

[joedie]

Quote:
It's probably a good thing you switch to your native language!

The only thing I've been told by my daughter is that I was sleeping and she tried to wake me up. I told her "the candy is by the gas pumps" Don't know where that came from.