Son's College Roommate Rant

[fasbendera]

Our oldest is in the Army Reserves and started his first year of college a week and a half late. End of his first full week and roommate wants to switch room to be with his buddy. Hands my son paper yesterday and asks him to move out. I was picking him up for his Reserve weekend. He initially said OK and I said you just got here late, you just got settled and met your whole floor and you want to move again? What is the other dorm like (they would switch roomies)? He said from what he has heard, tile floors, white walls people call it the prison dorms and the dorm he is in is very popular and hard to get into. Told him I wouldn't, if his roommie wants to move he his welcome to but I would stay. He went back and tore up the form and left him a note. I told him to blame me.

Oh when it was first brought up the roommate was moving out but just changed yesterday to can you move out.

 

[hikerchick]

He is in college now. He should be dealing with these things himself. I would let him fight his own battles and make his own decisions regarding things like this.

Good luck.

 

[StupidBird]

In my son's dorm there are strict policies AND BIG FEES for all parties involved in room switching. Remind DS to read the housing contract, it may be all the reason needed to turn it down.
And yes, he can handle it himself (says mother hen) but I still give advice based on experience. What he does with that advice . . .

edited to add - a suckie dorm has a severe impact from all sorts of ways. DS had one last semester that constantly flooded and had such bad mold issues I could not go in the building without falling into anaphylactic shock. But that's another story.

 

[fasbendera]

Quote:
I should clarify I just gave him my opinion and he made his decision. The kid is also a little overwhelmed. Gone for 2-1/2 months right after grad. party. Landed at 8:30pm Thursday 09/02, loaded in car at 6:00am 09/03 (my BD, 4 hour car ride each way) dropped off at college for a day and a half and home for the Labor Day Holiday. Back up for the first full week and then this came up. Hey he signed up at 17 was in boot camp the entire summer before his senior year and was gone again this past summer for his AIT training so I he is independent but if you can't ask for your parents opinion what good are we?

 

[mamagardener]

I am with you, if roommate wants to change things, he can be the one to move.

He may be an adult, but he still needs to know his mother is there for him. He is probably only 18, that does not make him all grown up.

 

[Scoop]

I'd let the other guy move out. He's the one that isn't happy with his situation it sounds like. I think it's great to be able to give advice no matter what age. When my kids ask me for advice I plan to be there for them. I won't be automatically cutting ties at 18.

 

[English Chick]

I too would have told his room mate to take a hike............. glad your son irrespective of how independant he is, still values his parents advice..... Bravo!

 

[fasbendera]

Quote:
Thanks I didn't even think about the dorm policy and he hasn't read anything yet or even filled out his room inventory card. That is super helpful and I a freshman may not appreciate a particualar dorm until he has been there or heard. Me just sitting there waiting for him I heard people walking by

 

[fasbendera]

Quote:
OK last clarification it is a buddy move. Wants to be roommates with a friend on campus not a I don't like you thing they haven't been in the room together long enough to get to that point.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Most schools, especially smaller ones, don't let you pick your own roommates freshman year. This is supposed to be about meeting new people and experiencing new things. If someone is going to move it should be the person who wants the change; not the innocent bystander.

Which school is he going to? I have two nephews in college in Minnesota. I also went to college there.