Terrible jokes thread ... post your groaners!

[The Angry Hen]

Here is one...

Teacher; Why are you talking when I am giving a lesson?
Student; Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Lol -K

 

[The Angry Hen]

Here is another...

TO DO LIST

1.) GO TO THE PET STORE.

2.) GET A BAG OF BIRD SEEDS.

3.) WALK UP TO THE REGISTER AND ASK; "HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR THE BIRD TO GROW?"

4.) WAIT FOR THE REACTION.

-K

 

[BYCforlife]

Here is one :

Teacher points a ruler at a student and says, "at the end of this ruler is an idiot."

The student asked politely, "which end?"

The student was expelled.

 

[BYCforlife]

Another:

One day, a man remembered that his dog had probably gotten her puppies. He walked out to to where he thought she would most likely be. He poked his head in, but he couldn't see anything. He shoved his shoulders in too. He barely got his arms in. The dog nor her puppies were not in there. He started to pull himself out, but realized he was stuck!
A few hours later, the man's wife came. She said, "You're really in the doghouse now!

 

[BYCforlife]

Dee Septor, the famous magician, claimed that he could walk (yes, walk) around the circumference of the world in less than one minute. How is this possible?


Ask for the answer if you can't figure It Out!

 

[BYCforlife]

Once apon a time there was a frog who noticed his fellow frogs were being devoured by a snake. He fearfully went to a wise owl and asked what to do. The owl said, "When the snake comes near, fly away." The frog thanked the owl for this sage advice and confidently hopped away.

A few days later the snake came. As the frog was disappearing down the snake's throat, he heard the owl say, "Sorry, I only deal with theory, not reality."

 

[BYCforlife]

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son!
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters,
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes - I guess he don't know
That three is more them two!

Just then came old blind Bates
And just 'Cause he can't see,
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head -
Too proud of me to speak!

 

[Chicken 859]

 

[The Angry Hen]

Funny! Lol

 

[Mace Gill]

Ever look through the thread titles looking for a topic to jump in on, a question to answer, or whatever and you see a title that you KNOW you want to give a 'jerk' response to?

You don't, of course, do it ... because they want to talk about something serious, the post has nothing to do whatsoever with the 'jerk' response you're itching to give, but still you have to control yourself.

Today's title: Goose down???

"Jerk" response in my head: Well pick it up!

Happens all the time!