The bullying has to stop...children are dying

[urban escapee]

There is also a really good ABC Famliy movie called Cyberbully. If you have kids you should watch it with them. They show what some kids are going through and give some basic tips on dealing with bullies. I wish it was around when my kids were ...well kids.

 

[urban escapee]

Quote:
They should have been charged with assault and injury to a child...when my son was about 8 some high school boys drove by and threw an egg at him. My husband chased them down while I called the cops. They were arrested and their mothers car was impounded. They were charged with felony injury to a child. The mom brought the boy by to apologize and wanted me to drop the charges. Told her I couldnt since I wasnt pressing them, she needed to take it up with the DA. I didnt follow it after that. But I think they got the message.

No kid should have to put up with bullying.

My kind of mama!

You should have seen Daddy that day. Those kids were trapped by the direction they were driving, Dad ran a block over stood in the middle of the street and when they challenged him with the front end of the car, he slammed his hands down on the hood, reached into the car, took he keys and the carton of eggs and walked back to the house with 2 boys crying foul the whole time. When I told the police that the offenders had been detained, they were very concerned because a police car showed up in less than 5 minutes.

 

[kyeschicks]

 

[Royd]

Hey, just a thought. How many, here, who are so adamant that bullying be stopped, simply by decreeing it so, were secretly giving a high five to the youth riots, in London, a couple of months ago?

There seems to be one underlying theme in all of this, including the huge rise in effiminate acting males and that is the lack of masculine, manly discipline.

In a society that tells us that there is no black and white, that everything is nuanced in shades of gray, that lying is not lying, if you don't get caught, that even the loser must get a trophy, because he'll be damaged for life, if he doesn't, we are suddenly supposed to embrace a set of old fashioned values, concerning one group of people.

Yet, on the other hand, let us not bring into this discussion, the very root and heart of basic values, i.e. religion, and most especially, Christianity......God forbid.

 

[KristyHall]

mom'sfolly :

I would also mention for kids these days, the internet is not just a place to go for information. It is the young people's living room and clubhouse. It is where they hang out with friends after school, where they go to talk to the hotie they met at the game, where they go to find music, where they go to shop. This is particularly true of young teenagers who don't drive, and who have parents that want them close. For kids these days, the internet is the library, the music store, the arcade, the mall, the movie theater and the local hang out all rolled into one. Telling a kid to quit the internet to avoid bullying is like total grounding would have been back when I was young. You completely limit a kids social interactions when you take that away.

Lots of older people say kids can't communicate without a screen. This may be true, but the people who actually study these things say that kids now actually communicate more, but in very similar ways to how kids have always communicated.

As for the whole religion thing, it really isn't part of this discussion. Schools allow prayer. While religion can give people strength and hope it can also be a breeding ground for intolerance and hatred. There are a lot of people out there who think wicca is evil, and that it's followers are Satanic. There are people who either think all Muslims are terrorists, or who think an official who is sworn to office on a Koran is somehow unAmerican. There are folks who think Catholics are idolators. Just espousing a religious belief doesn't make you a paragon of virtue, and there are plenty of bullies in pulpits.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
The sad part is that he was being treated. He was seeing a counselor regularly. I think "putting it out there" was a desperate attempt at acceptance. When he "put it out there" on the internet, he did find some support, but had to sift through the hate to get to it. In his community, being what he was at his age is not easy. I'm 35YO, and when I moved here, I felt like I stepped ten to fifteen years into the past with regards to "certain attitudes" that related to me, as compared to where I lived before (Long Island). But I'm an adult, and I developed a thick enough skin to tell someone off (in a cheerful, polite way, of course....

) if I was disrespected for "being different." This was a kid. He was still growing into himself. He was at an age of being extremely self-conscious, trying desperately to fit in, and vulnerable to perceived authority in others. If he was plucked from this area and moved elsewhere, he could have continued to grow and mature without the harassment in school to become a person confident in himself, and carry a "to heck with the rest" attitude toward those who didn't accept him. But he didn't have time to get there. And for that, I'm saddened...and angry. And that was why I started this post.

I understand some area of this country are alot different. One thing i wonder about this young boy, what would have happen if he had waited till he was older ,before being open about being gay. Not to say he should have to, but we know a lot of haters of gays in some areas more than others.

Maybe at a older age he would been able to handle the haters.

No matter who is to blame it is still a shame this young man took his life.

why should he wait? It isn't right that the kid had to deny who he was ad what he was born as because of someone else's hate and intolerance. I really don't like the blame the victim thing.

I was bullied unmercifully for being a mix race non christian in a predominately white christian small town here in Alabama. I wasn't about to deny who i am. In fact I wrote a true story bout my experiences and the moment I decided not to hide who i was because of other people's bigotry that ended up in my college's literary journal.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
I will address you first. If the meds your taking and the counselor is not helping you need to make a change. One thing this young man said is true. It does get better, just hang on til it does. Ok?


Now for those who have OP's like we all do.

Being gay is not something all gay people can hide. It becomes obvious for some very early on. It's sad but true. If there is a cure it won't be found in bullying a person until they kill themselves.

Now for those who are or claim to be Christians. I have been saved , born again since I was 24 and I'm an old man now. Preaching and screaming and shouting at people is NOT scriptural. If you are doing it to someone who isn't or won't listen. It's wrong and if you don't think so you need to read your bible. Jesus "taught" the people who wanted to learn. He didn't go chasing after those who "turned back from following". He didn't go screaming in their faces they were going to hell. Please just be quite you do more harm than good.

Finally it is a sad time for our youth. They are trying to maintain internet relationships to fulfill the need humans have for acceptance and friendships. The internet is a poor substitute for this. It might help if parents were more involved in their children's social structure and helped their children join clubs or sports or scouts or some organization where they will find like minded people and receive peer acceptance.

I belong to a large church and have met many people and one thing I have learned. WE ALL have issues in one form or another. No one has the answers to every problem not even the pastors in the pulpit.

That said, we all will experience "peer" pressure at any age. It never ends, but we can learn how to deal with it. For me , I stay away from mean people, whether family (parent, sibling) or co worker or fellow church member. There is nothing written that says a person has to accept everyone no matter what they are like. If someone is causing you mental pain then get away from them. You DO NOT have to "put up" with them.

For those who may consider taking their own life, please don't. Your best life can be ahead of you. New friends and places and accomplishments. Young people in school, Please you have no idea the adventures that lie ahead, gay or straight. You wouldn't let some one rob your house, don't let them steal your future.

Our paths may cross some day and I NEED you to be there, Lord knows I can use all the friends I can get.

Rancher

well said

 

[Royd]

Sorry, duplicate.

 

[lockedhearts]

I agree with Royd !

 

[mom'sfolly]

I don't know what manly discipline means, but I do know that self-control and civility are virtues that I as a woman value. Bullies do not practice either self-discipline or civility.

I'm pushing fifty, and I remember how awful middle school could be. I grew up in a very small town, less than 2500 people, and the bullies were people I knew from the time I started school. So, when I was a bright, slow to develop, tall girl I was teased and targeted. By the popular boys, in a very sexual way. I love that this behavior would not be tolerated now. Another friend, male, was targeted because he was not athletic, and was artistic and musical. He was also infatuated with the most popular girl at the school, and showed it. The same popular boys targeted him...he was labeled as gay, and teased for being effeminate. His oldest brother often jooined the rest of the bullies, basically justifying it with the wimpy label. The underlying fact of his harassment was the fear that the girl would find him more appealing than them. He has not returned to his home town since he finished college.