Ahhh, I am steaming mad at my teenage son right now!!!!!

[Chickenmaven]

So sorry this is happening....

I have been mad at my 17 y.o. for a couple of days, so I know...

Does your kid have goals for after highschool? If not, he is in a precarious position. These days, none of these kids has the assurance of a good blue collar job.

Alot of people mentioned homeschooling. I homeschool, YET I caution you that it is hard. Harder, still, with an unmotivated kid. I think you & dad need to crack down & pull this child in close. Family dinners. Charity work. Manual labor. You cannot just ground this little man & let him have his PC & internet & cellphone.

Finally, and I appologize, if you or your hubby smoke, you cannot say a word about him doing so.

My mom is dying from COPD from 40 yrs. of smoking. Three of her four kids smoke. Guess which one I am.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
IMHO, since you have the option, home schooling would be best since this is the second time. Don't let there be a third. With my son it was drinking. When I found the empty bottles under his bed, I lined them up on the counter and never said a word to him. He grounded himself for 5 weeks before he asked if he could watch the History channel.

Also, telling him how disappointed in him I was made him feel like poop. I also didn't talk to him for quite a few days. He would come to me and I would just turn around and walk away. He never did it again. I also removed the people he was drinking with from his life. Home schooling him was the only way to do that.

That happened here also. The satalite installer and I moved her bed so he could do whay he needed to do and found a bottle and a bag of pot. I set them on the coffee table for her to see when she got home. Never said a word about it to her. She came home and saw it and we just ignored her and contnued to watch tv. She went to her room and stayed there. Didn't bother to ask why her TV didn't have satalite. She knew. I flushed it all that night. I found more at a later date but it was a while before she attempted it again. I suspected it so I searched her room and found it that time. She got mad that I went through her room but I told her she has to earn her privacy back. If I suspect it again, i'll search again.

My kids know perfectly well that as long as they live under our roof, if we have suspicions, they have no privacy. Thankfully, none of them have given us reason for a while now. And they are all over 18. Two years ago I caught DSD smoking pot in the garage (she was 18 at the time). I threw out every last person and turned her over to her dad. Haven't had an issue since then. Not in OUR house.

 

[Acre of Blessings]

Robin'sBrood :

What do we do with this kid

HELP!

You love him back to the young man he used to be.​

 

[rhoda_bruce]

I was thinking homeschooling, until I read that you are homeschooling the younger ones. Well you know that will be hard. I started homeschooling my child that is now 6 and I'm doing fine with her, but my daydreamer that is now 13 is not a bad kid, but I would have to be right there with her the entire time. I also homeschool her, but she makes me crazy sometimes. Still there was a day, last year when there was a shooting and suicide at the middle school she would have been at if she weren't home with me, that my phone rang at least 3 times from parents who suddenly wanted to talk to me about homeschooling.
Talk to him about homeschooling if you think it might scare him straight. I tried talking my daughter into straightening up her grades or I would pull her out of public school, but she didn't listen. Oh well....now instead of having her friends to hang out with she has her momma, little sisters and a bunch of chickens.

 

[WriterofWords]

Advice from my 18yr. old son, Steven, the one in High School who is in the Army Reserves: Talk to him as adult not a child because he isn't going to respect being treated like a child. Tell him that he needs to come clean, you already know there is a problem so trying to ignore it or deny it isn't going to make things any better for him. He needs to man-up and act like a man if he wants to be treated like one. Sit with him and write out a plan for him for the rest of the year with both of your inputs and both of you sign it and try and be there for support for each other. Take him to the local lock up and have an officer give him a walk through and let the inmates scare the "heck" out of him. Tell him you love him, but you don't like what he is doing, but that doesn't mean you love him any less and you just don't understand why he is doing this and maybe if he told you why you could work through it together.

 

[WriterofWords]

LOL Steven just stuck his head in the door and said as soon as he is 17 take him to see the recruiter and have explained what it means to be an adult to him!

 

[Cetawin]

To those with positive comments and reactions to my "punishment" of my 8 year old several years ago....thanks! I caught all sorts of HE** and was told how cruel I was being and blah blah. I had the grandmothers calling me and giving me junk...they got the same response each time they called which was

"You never allowed anyone to tell you how to raise your children and I am not having you tell me how to raise mine....accept that or stay away and do not bother calling"

after a couple of times of hanging on them, they stopped the BS and left me alone. Now they both compliment on what a polite, respectfully young lady my daughter is...well DUH that was the point of it all!

Writer.....LMAO if I could tell you the number of times my DH and I heard these 17/18 year olds in the Army say "What? I did not think I had to get shot at...I just joined to earn college money" or sound totally appalled that they had to be at work at 5 am.

It is real eye opener.

 

[Mahonri]

Quote:
My thoughts exactly.

Good luck. My prayers are with you.

I have teen aged sons... and there have been moments I've wanted to ..... well you get the picture.

One is 21 now and wonderful.

One is 19 and still needs to grow up.

One is 17 and needs some improvement.

One is 15 and is driving me crazy sometimes

So is the 12 year old.

The 9 year old boy and the 7 year old girl are easy at present. By the time she hits puberty, my wife will be doing menopause.

SERENITY NOW!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
I have to say I disagree here. Tell him he will be treated as an adult when he acts like one. That respect is earned, not automatic. That you love him too much to leave him to fend for himself without boundaries. That the boundaries will lessen as he shows himself capable of handling more freedoms and makes responsible choices. Talk to him about his future and listen to what HE wants for himself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. Ask him what his plan is to reach those goals.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:
Oh no, he has no phone or computer privileges. Those went away on the first day he was grounded. As far as smoking... neither of us are smokers. I have an aunt with COPD and I tell him all the time to watch Aunt Louise when we're at family functions. Watch her struggle to breathe after walking 10 feet. Listen to her get into a terrible coughing attack from laughing. She continued to smoke even after her father died of emphysema... and look at what it has done to her life. Pitiful.

I hope you're the non-smoker of the family!