another rant out of me re. people who dont get it

QuinnP

Songster
9 Years
Mar 26, 2010
584
2
129
Oregon
I lost my son Seanna to miscarriage on Feb 19 (too many chromosomes) I am devastated, & recently a counselor tried to make me feel better by telling me she knew how I felt because she had a dog that she cherished & loved & it died. A DOG!? I have been fighting infertility for 7 years, lost a precious pregnancy & she thinks losing a dog can compare to losing my baby?! While I love my pets dearly & yes refer to my rooster as my son, it still shocked me to hear that. Its still quite hard to deal with. I'm so upset.

I understand that the American way of dealing with death is usually to deny it, or try to minimize it. I couldn't speak when Jan told me that about the dog. Nobody knows what it is like to lose a baby unless they've been there. Sorry but a dog doesn't count. Tjhis is the 4th time I have failed at motherhood.
 
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the insensitivity of the counselor. I love my pets dearly but they don’t hold a candle to a child. The counselor doesn’t sound very qualified to “counsel”.
You aren’t a failure at motherhood, nature is the problem.
hugs.gif
 
Quinn, you have not failed. In any way shape or form. I am very, very sorry that you're struggling with this. To desire the beginning of a family so much and to be denied it--I certainly have no idea what you've been going through.

But you have NOT failed. Something like chromosome pairs is NOT something you can control, nor, I am sure, are any of the reasons you've lost any previous babies. You will someday have a precious new life to hold in your arms and you will be a stronger and more wonderful mother due to what you've been going through. Do not lose hope!
 
thank you so much. I have had one living daughter who I let be adopted because I knew I couldn't care for her, & 4 losses.
 
I agree. I love my animals but there is no way they could compare to a baby. I'm so sorry about your loss. Will be sending prayers your way!
 

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