another rant out of me re. people who dont get it

[Orchid]

I think the absolute worst thing is to tell someone else you "know how they feel". You may be able to empathize, or sympathize, but even if you've had something very similar happen, you still will never know exactly how that other person feels, because you're not - them!

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you, QuinnP.

 

[Rockin' Reds]

to you my dear...so very sorry for your loss. I have a hard time understanding why a counselor would say such a thing, as there is clearly no comparison. Maybe you could seek out someone else to help you through this time. Please don't think of yourself as failing at motherhood...this is definitely not your fault. I wish I had more wisdom to offer, but I don't...all I can give is support.

 

[Okie Amazon]

I am so sorry for your loss. One of our friends recently lost his teenage son suddenly without warning (blood clot from football practice). He said that This book helped him a great, great deal.

 

[QuinnP]

I've been reading Unspeakable Losses, & a half dozen other grief books. It helps.

 

[QuinnP]

Knowing why he died doesn't make it any easier. Susannah in 2002 died because my body didn't produce enough thyroid hormone to support her. The two blighted ovums probably had chaotic chromosomes too.

 

[ranchhand]

Quote:
I am so very sorry, I know you have had a very hard time. My heart just breaks for you. As said before, YOU are not a failure.

But, I do have to say that you refer to your rooster as your son, that may have led to what seems like a totally insensitive statement because she was transferring the animal references to what she thought you would be able to relate to.

I wish you the best, and yes, I have been in your shoes.

 

[QuinnP]

bless you ranch hand I never thought of it like that.

hugs

 

[Momagain1]

I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY!

I did not suffer from infertility issues; but I have lost 4 pregnancies. NONE of which were easy to deal with.

I have found that some just tell you to get over it, "It wasnt a baby" etc...and I think some of those
are the most insensitive things to tell a woman...

I will tell you, that you are a wonderful creation, one of which has been through all sorts of issues
in trying to get pregnant and I pray that your own wonderful creation comes to you soon!!

Gods blessings on you!!

Mar

 

[sheila3935]

I am so sorry I kind of know how you feel my DD lost her only pregnancy at age 19. She is 30 now. Last year she had to have a partial hysterectomy. She doesnt have any children and now cant. People tell her you can always adopt and that is fine but it tears her up knowing she will never give birth. What really bothers her is when people that have children tell her teasingly of course that she can have theirs. People dont mean to be mean its just in a situation like that we dont know what to say and I'm sorry seems so inadequate. May God give you the strength to get through this and lavish his blessing upon you.

 

[luvchicks8]

I agree I am a mother to an Angel baby, people just don't know what to say so they feel they need to say somthing but offten a simple I am sorry you lost your child is the ONLY thing to say.

You did not fail I felt that way for a LONG time. My Angel baby was full term.