hi guys. been quiet, had a pretty awful experience day before yesterday.
my sweet, happy, talky little mille fleur, "mini fleuf" died. she was one of my favorite chickens. i don't know what happened. she started out of nowhere having these seizures, couldn't walk, was open mouth breathing, panting, flapping her wings, flipping over.
i didn't know what to do. even though i'm a vet i don't have euthanasia solution any more (ddn't keep up my cds license, it's like 500 bucks a year), and didn't know if i could wring her neck. i was bawling my eyes out and called smuv. i knew i had to end her suffering , but needed someone to tell me it was ok and that I could do it.
except....it didn't work so well. i thought i knew how to do it (pull the head and twist). we had a chicken lab in vet school a million years ago and that's how the guy did it. it took me like 4 times. she would not die. it was the most horrible, heartbreaking thing i have ever had to do. i was screaming and crying and in hysterics. it was frigging awful.
i have euthanized many, many animals, including two of my own beloved dogs, and it was never like this. i feel like i have ptsd, i keep seeing it over and over in my mind's eye.
i googled a bunch of youtube videos after that but haven't found one that was decent, if anyone knows one that is good please point me in the right direction. i don't know that i can ever do that again. it probably would have been better had i just cut her head off. quicker and more painless.
next time i will go to the vet's and have them give an injection, for sure. i cannot go through that again.i know some people will be like "that's just a chicken, get over it, what kind of farm girl are you" but she was my little baby.
thank you so much for all the kind words and well wshes, and to my sweet smuvs for helping me through that. and smuvs, i'm sorry you had to go through that with your chicken.
you guys are the best people in the world, here.
XO,
cindi