I'm sorry, but you did right by her, Sammy, the only way that it would have been different would have been hand raising and feeding, and the feeding would have been a lifelong process.

I'm one of the few that would be willing to spend that time, but that's because she would have started as a pet, and eggs would be a perk. She would be raised indoors from the start, and had a different lifestyle with more individual attention possible multiple times a day.

Culling is an inherent process for most people with larger flocks, or where breeding is intended. Plus the others would have removed her their way, especially of they deemed her a threat to the safety of the flock, which would have been less humane for her.
Thank you for making me feel better about it. I helped her out often but she just didn't grow right. She started coming to me and chirping until I picked her up so I might have gotten attached some but I won't admit it. She is part of my first Ameraucana hatch.
 
Maybe it's work over load ,you've taken on so many projects. It could be your mind is processing the what ifs/like what if I complete this then what, or what if I don't. You see you have so much going on in your life right. Parts of you are starting to talk back, hence your mind, then the body you feel puny, this is just pure speculation, but something to think about. None of us are as young as we think we are, so slowing it down a bit ain't a bad thing
 

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