Although, I'll have to be careful where I bite because of the HFM disease he is currently fighting. He is looking much better, though he has come to me scratching a couple times and saying "Owie owie".

Yes, I read MD had that.... I am sorry I didn't respond.... I feel terribly sick about it... I DID look it up and the photos look painful... is he doing better? Did he get mouth lesions?
 
I was pissed when someone paper sprayed my dog. (I was on my way to retrieve her) But it did work. She left the person alone and I don't want it to happen again so am way more careful.

Get some paper spray for that dog. And give some to the mailman too.
You mean pepper spray, right?
 
Yes, I read MD had that.... I am sorry I didn't respond.... I feel terribly sick about it... I DID look it up and the photos look painful... is he doing better? Did he get mouth lesions?
He had a few, and was off food for a few days. He has been scratching and saying "owie-owie" but the homeopathic remedies I've been using have been helping him itch less and the blisters are 75-80% gone. The biggest pain was having him want to nurse like a newborn again. I've been SOOO touched out the last few days.
 
As you all are my friends, and even those who are just reading without ever posting, I feel the NEED to post this to you.

As some of you know, my family was stationed in El Paso TX for 7 years (up until June 2016) and, during that time, I went through a major episode of depression. I gave birth to the PIC (and, looking back, I feel I may have had undiagnosed PPD), gained a good 100 pounds AT LEAST, lost my hand full of friends (and didn’t make new ones), almost never left my bed nonetheless my house, etc etc etc. It was an extremely horrible, emotionally and mentally draining time for me… and I was mostly alone during this time.

Since being here since 2016, getting chickens, painting the PICs room, unpacking my entire life into my very first home, things had looked up. Life was moving forward, or so I assumed, and I wasn’t *depressed* any longer. There’d be a day or two, here and there, when I felt really off…. But I chalked it up to just what probably everybody felt.

For the last few months, things in my life haven’t been going very smoothly. I honestly thought, once we moved back to a *normal* area, with trees and grass (and people who have southern manners, lol), that everything in my life would just suddenly be 1000% better. But then, the day or two of being off turned into a week of being off, then 2 weeks, and then a month and, before I knew it… I was living *off*….

I was living off, with having a day here and there that was *good*. I noticed that I was taking my Xanax more often than not. I was back to staying in bed most of the day, and days were getting away from me…. floating by and I wasn’t responding.

I knew things had to change. Although I had already started to put into place other things to change my lifestyle (like going to the gym, eating healthier, etc), I needed more help. Although things were getting better, things weren’t getting better enough… I hope that makes sense. I knew things had to change. I owed it to the PIC and I owed it to myself.

About a month ago, I told my Dr. about sleep issues, about how I couldn’t fall asleep or stay asleep. I was hoping that, maybe with some regular good nights of sleep, I could shake the fog that had coated me. The Dr. put me on something (Restoril I believe), and it did nothing but make me ravenous... which then added to my off-ness. I was taking something to help me sleep, yet I still wasn’t sleeping and then doing a LOT of late night binging, which counteracted my workouts and healthy daytime eating. Taters….

As I have accepted that I need more help than originally thought, I spoke with my Dr. about my anxiety, stress and depression issues, instead of dancing around it. So now, part of my treatment plan has been a decision by my Dr. and me for me to start taking antidepressants.

I’ve started with Prozac just a couple of days ago. I also am trying another sleep med, and I still have some Xanax. The sleep meds and the Xanax is there only to serve me until the Prozac kicks in. At that point, I am hoping that my sleep patterns should regulate and I also can go back to needing the Xanax in an emergency situation again, instead of using it almost daily.



So, this is where I am now. I am hoping to find interest in life again. I don’t feel the need to talk anything out, so just keep me in your thoughts and I’ll do my best to keep posting here… and start posting more often.



Love you guys.
So sorry Smuv, i didn't realize how badly you were doing with your depression. I have been battling it since the 80s. Lately i have been trying to get more help but i keep falling through the cracks. I had asked to see a doctor about it , got referred and missed the phone call from the lady that makes the appointments. I called her back and had to leave a message because it seems no one answers the phone. I have mostly been taking the same dose of Effexor XR since the 80s. Though i had been put on other medications for short periods of time, they never helped. And seems like no doctors here are willing to write Xanax Rxs any more. I only take it rarely, i have pills that are probably 8 years old so you can see i don't take it unless necessary.
It has definitely helped me moving here and getting out of the city, as well as the birds and animals. But lately i am on my last nerve because i hurt my back and developed poison ivy....plus hubby is on vacation. Whatever needs to be done , i have to do it. I was getting relief on my back with heating pad and muscle relaxers but with the poison ivy, the heat just aggravates it.
To add to my aggravation ,i have been fighting to get my Cpap supplies for a year! Finally got them today! Woo hoo.
I could go on, life is full of aggravations. But i just wanted to let you know you are not suffering alone. Wish i had a partner in chickens to help out. Count your blessings. Hugs to you my friend!:hugs
 
As you all are my friends, and even those who are just reading without ever posting, I feel the NEED to post this to you.

As some of you know, my family was stationed in El Paso TX for 7 years (up until June 2016) and, during that time, I went through a major episode of depression. I gave birth to the PIC (and, looking back, I feel I may have had undiagnosed PPD), gained a good 100 pounds AT LEAST, lost my hand full of friends (and didn’t make new ones), almost never left my bed nonetheless my house, etc etc etc. It was an extremely horrible, emotionally and mentally draining time for me… and I was mostly alone during this time.

Since being here since 2016, getting chickens, painting the PICs room, unpacking my entire life into my very first home, things had looked up. Life was moving forward, or so I assumed, and I wasn’t *depressed* any longer. There’d be a day or two, here and there, when I felt really off…. But I chalked it up to just what probably everybody felt.

For the last few months, things in my life haven’t been going very smoothly. I honestly thought, once we moved back to a *normal* area, with trees and grass (and people who have southern manners, lol), that everything in my life would just suddenly be 1000% better. But then, the day or two of being off turned into a week of being off, then 2 weeks, and then a month and, before I knew it… I was living *off*….

I was living off, with having a day here and there that was *good*. I noticed that I was taking my Xanax more often than not. I was back to staying in bed most of the day, and days were getting away from me…. floating by and I wasn’t responding.

I knew things had to change. Although I had already started to put into place other things to change my lifestyle (like going to the gym, eating healthier, etc), I needed more help. Although things were getting better, things weren’t getting better enough… I hope that makes sense. I knew things had to change. I owed it to the PIC and I owed it to myself.

About a month ago, I told my Dr. about sleep issues, about how I couldn’t fall asleep or stay asleep. I was hoping that, maybe with some regular good nights of sleep, I could shake the fog that had coated me. The Dr. put me on something (Restoril I believe), and it did nothing but make me ravenous... which then added to my off-ness. I was taking something to help me sleep, yet I still wasn’t sleeping and then doing a LOT of late night binging, which counteracted my workouts and healthy daytime eating. Taters….

As I have accepted that I need more help than originally thought, I spoke with my Dr. about my anxiety, stress and depression issues, instead of dancing around it. So now, part of my treatment plan has been a decision by my Dr. and me for me to start taking antidepressants.

I’ve started with Prozac just a couple of days ago. I also am trying another sleep med, and I still have some Xanax. The sleep meds and the Xanax is there only to serve me until the Prozac kicks in. At that point, I am hoping that my sleep patterns should regulate and I also can go back to needing the Xanax in an emergency situation again, instead of using it almost daily.



So, this is where I am now. I am hoping to find interest in life again. I don’t feel the need to talk anything out, so just keep me in your thoughts and I’ll do my best to keep posting here… and start posting more often.



Love you guys.
Dear smuvy,
I’m typing before reading other peoples comments so forgive me if I mirror or over lap.
Damn.
You are brave and I’m proud of you.

Sometimes we need a time out just because our attention is needed elsewhere in life or we need to devote time to our wellbeing.

Lord knows, Smuvy and all the rest of you friends, you’ve lifted me up when sadness pushes me down.

Your kind words and gestures have been so welcome and appreciated.
I can’t tell you how nice it’s been to have all of YOU in MY life.
I suspect that all of us goofballs are hanging around for reasons other than just checking on each other’s chickens.
The squatch watchers to me is like a much loved relative’s home. The kitchen door is always unlocked for friends and neighbors to let themselves in. It’s okay to put your feet on the furniture here.
Some squatchers float in and out because they have very busy lives but they are always welcome when they pop in to say hi. Some hang around the house all day.

What I appreciate about this group of friends is sometimes the honesty that pours forth astounds me and the response is just as amazing because we GENUINELY care about each other.

Smuvy, honey pie, please know that I am so glad you are taking steps in the right direction.
It’s scary.
I know it is.
Depression sucks.
I know this for a fact.

And if several weeks go by and this particular medicine isn’t helping enough, it’s time to go back to the doc and try another one. There are lots, thank God.

And if the Xanax turns out to be problem, well then, there’s help for that too.

Im here for you, fearless squatch watch leader and friend.

I’m sorry now that I didn’t reach out and try to touch base.
All this time I thought you were just having a busy summer with your hubby and little guy.

I apologize.
Love you friend.
Love you friends.

:hugs:loveStacey
 

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