Planned Parenthood not to blame; the truth post #25

[Aeropennchick]

It is always a strain on a family when one member is making poor decisions. I am so sorry your family is dealing with such hardship! My suggestion is, as much of a burden as it would be, try and find out if another member of the family (who lives in a totally different area) would be willing to take the girl in. It is very difficult to get away from drug habits when there is easy access. Also, as much as your sister wants to help, as long as your niece sees her as the enabler and not an authority figure, she will be unable to make a real difference.

I actually have custody of my little brother - he's 16 - he had terrible depression, was overweight, and had had a few suicide attempts. Stayed back a year of school, also. His father has a drug problem and, after finally convincing my mother to let me try and help, they signed residential custody over to me. After a rocky start for the first few months, we have hit our stride. It has been about a year total, and my brother has lost over 50 pounds, gets himself up and on the bus EVERY DAY, and has straight A's this marking period. I set myself up as an authority figure and did not allow myself to waver, and although it was scary, it paid off. Love does conquer all - my mom's love for letting him go, and our love for taking him in.

Good luck!

 

[KristyHall]

It is always a strain on a family when one member is making poor decisions. I am so sorry your family is dealing with such hardship! My suggestion is, as much of a burden as it would be, try and find out if another member of the family (who lives in a totally different area) would be willing to take the girl in. It is very difficult to get away from drug habits when there is easy access. Also, as much as your sister wants to help, as long as your niece sees her as the enabler and not an authority figure, she will be unable to make a real difference.

I actually have custody of my little brother - he's 16 - he had terrible depression, was overweight, and had had a few suicide attempts. Stayed back a year of school, also. His father has a drug problem and, after finally convincing my mother to let me try and help, they signed residential custody over to me. After a rocky start for the first few months, we have hit our stride. It has been about a year total, and my brother has lost over 50 pounds, gets himself up and on the bus EVERY DAY, and has straight A's this marking period. I set myself up as an authority figure and did not allow myself to waver, and although it was scary, it paid off. Love does conquer all - my mom's love for letting him go, and our love for taking him in.

Good luck!

off topic, is that picture of you? Those costumes are gorgeous!

 

[redhen]

Well I still think that birth control is last on the list of problems your niece has. The pills,norplant,IUD or depo shot is not going to save her life.I much as I hate to say it she needs an intervention and soon. She needs long term care of at least a year and maybe longer. If she refuses to get help at the time of the intervention everyone just needs to turn their back on her. Because you can try to help an addict all you want but if they don't want to help themselves you are wasting your time to a point to where you are enabling them. I have seen the behavior of of staying clean for a couple of days saying your done and then go right back at. Not only have I seen it but also lived it as I battle alcohol every day. I have spent time in a program and it sucks but I am better for it. Just like they say one day at a time. But some days I have to break it down to hours at a time. Most people have to hit rock bottom before they begin the ascent. That's where I landed and stood to lose everything I worked hard for. My DW gave me the ultimatum get help or get out. Just the push I needed, she played the enabler and all the roles and was done with it. Not that was an official intervention but was clear enough as everyone and everything I loved was about to turn their back and take away it all.

Seeing that your sister has exhaust their finances trying to help your niece should be reason enough for an intervention. I know it comes with a stigma but I know it were one of my kids I would rather have a child and a stigma than nothing. There has to be resources available somewhere. I know she has been in rehab twice but sometime its 3,4,5 times before it sticks. Call your State mental health dept. I know this sounds hokey but call the Dr Phil show, the show INTERVENTION, there has to be some help somewhere. I know it is a hard thing to do to turn your back on someone whom you love but she is getting to the point to where she is tearing the family to shreds to feed her addiction. As tough as it is you have to cut her loose to save the rest. It's simple GET HELP or GET OUT.

 I can see your point about children born to and with addiction and that's not there fault understandably. Not knowing your niece and how deep she is in but she might not even need the birth control because she might lose to the addiction. The addiction needs to be addressed first and foremost. Well if she does get pregnant cross that bridge when you get to it. Worry about the tornado that is in front of you and not the one in the next state.

Addiction can only be addressed if the daughter is willing and ready to change. I'm pretty certain that they have tried getting the daughter help for her addiction in the past....
In the meantime, until the daughter wants to get sober, IF she ever wants to get sober,.(she may NEVER get clean) she NEEDS a good reliable birth control so she doesnt bring a drug addicted baby into this worldto just suffer and grow up neglected by a druggie parent...

 

[Knock Kneed Hen]

Addiction can only be addressed if the daughter is willing and ready to change. I'm pretty certain that they have tried getting the daughter help for her addiction in the past....
In the meantime, until the daughter wants to get sober, IF she ever wants to get sober,.(she may NEVER get clean) she NEEDS a good reliable birth control so she doesnt bring a drug addicted baby into this worldto just suffer and grow up neglected by a druggie parent...

Thanks redhen, that's where were at.

 

[AHDCST]

I hear the frustration in your words. The niece has much more to worry about then just preventing pregnancy. She must get inpatient, long-term care to get off the heroine or whatever drug(s) she is on. It is scary to think about a baby coming into the mix but unfortunately at age of 20 no one in the family can tell her what to do. Prayers for your niece and her family as they travel this difficult journey. As a nurse for 18 years I can tell you that the employees at Planned Parenthood gave your niece what she asked for and not what her mother wanted they were just being polite when they let her mother give them the whole sad story. I hope things work out for your niece.

 

[Aeropennchick]

@Kristyhall- Thanks! That is one of our wedding pics - we had a medieval hand fasting. We had all the guests, the band, and the servers dress up as well. Even my dachshund wore a chainmail shirt, hahaha!

 

[chickened]

It must be very frustrating for you to have to go outside PP to get sound advice when all the educated counselors and psychologist suggest the pill which relies on the one that needs help to be successful.

Red is a wise woman... listen to her.

Thanks redhen, that's where were at.

 

[dainerra]

no, PP didn't give the girl the pill because the patient said she didn't want it!
No one is putting roadblocks in the girl's way - the girl's addiction is in her way.

 

[Scovy Momma]

The way I've read it & this is just another 2 cents on the topic,it seems the girl is the one to blame,not Planned Parenthood. The facility & it's employees can only do as much as what is asked from them. The girl is technically an adult & even if an adult goes in with her mother she's still going to have the last word in choosing what she does & doesn't want,(barring any mental handicaps or coart appointments,obviously).
As with any facility,there can be major differences between one to another but speaking from personal experience in dealing with Planned Parenthoods I have only met the most understanding,comforting & unfortunatly some of the most legally hand-tied employees that work or volunteer there. They do their job to help others,not so much themselves,especially those of us who volunteer.
Working in the medical field for many years I have learned that even going to a Primary Care Physician,you must reiterate the reason you made the appointment to ensure you are both on the same page in understanding what is needed for your health care. There is no differance with PP,especially when the girl was not a regular patient with prior medical records.
I see the OP's frustration & know it well in my family,but it cannot rightfully be directed towards the facility or be suggested that it's "a way for PP to make money" given the way the girl is depicted as duping her mother multiple times before & apparently at the clinic also.
Respectfully,the best resolution has been suggested here & is to go back with the girl requesting what mother wants (if mother can convince the daughter that is what she should do) as a short term "fix" until she gets clean or gets to the age that she can get herself sterilized,if she wants to do either.
Good luck,dear.

 

[chickened]

Maybe I am misunderstanding you and if I amforgive me. I think the OP was frustrated with PP because they went there to get a contraceptive that was implanted or a shot for a drug user that was not responsible enough for the pill and was frustrated that they would only give them the pill. I beleive it was then that the girl refused the pill they offered.

My guess is maybe they offered the pill over the implant to save money. I know overhead is cheaper for a business especially "nonprofit" to hand out rubbers and pills over Depos or Norplants.

no, PP didn't give the girl the pill because the patient said she didn't want it!
No one is putting roadblocks in the girl's way - the girl's addiction is in her way.