The Quack Shack

[Muscovy Wunda]

You own land in the south?

 

[duluthralphie]

You own land in the south?

Shhhhhh!!

I do, but it is strictly for educational purposes.
I have not been south of the Mason-Dixon Line in years.

 

[Magnolia Ducks]

True story time..

Things you need to know to understand story;

My mother is the worlds worst cook....
My mother is the cheapest, tightest, most selfish person to ever live.
My mother has never had a motherly caring instinct in her life. To the point I have not hugged or kissed my mother in over 60 years. (Yep, she is still alive)

We (the WW and I) owned a home on the Gulf of Mexico in Florida. My MIL known while alive as the wicked which of the east and South lived in Florida along with her bi-polar nutso crazy daughter, not the one I married.



I owned (and still do) a Mobile home in a senior park in Florida. My parents went there each winter.

I would split my time between Florida and Minnesota, the WW spent most of her time in Florida until we had Grandchildren at which time she deserted Florida to be closer to them.

We were spending Easter in Florida, our family was gathering at our house, I am guessing to take advantage of my pool, spa, boats and other material things.

Our kids were there with their future spouses, the Sister in law with her Green card Isis spouse of the week, the MIL, The current WW’s one normal sister and hubby. As was my brother and his wife.

The tables were filled with people. Everyone brought a “dish” to share. My mother, being cheap, always volunteered to bring potato salad, because potato’s are cheap and she would find the cheapest imitation miracle whip she could, throw in a slice of onion and call it potato salad....

My brother and I were giving our mother a rash of crap, because this was “Delux” potato salad, it had eggs in it.

For the record, I have not eaten or tasted “Mom”’s potato salad since before she told me I was too old for a hug and bedtime kiss, 62 years ago....I cannot stand real miracle whip let alone cheap imitation miracle whip...

BTW, my Mother is not broke now poor, I have a trust fund, set up by my Dad, Her net worth is in the 7 digits. But she is cheap, so cheap, her neighbors in the trailer park the trailer home I own and she said in is in, had Judy(WW) and I over for supper and cards one night, and proceeded to ream us out and tell us we had to help my parents more as they don’t have enough money to buy decent clothes or enough to eat, and they could use a new car....

They refused to believe us when we told them my parents have enough money to buy the entire trailer park and ten more like it. It wasn’t until they talked to my Uncle (a normal person) that they believed us. They assumed because we had a fancy home on the gulf, and the trailer home was in my name, that we were the cheap ones refusing to help my poor parents.

Back to the salad, we were really laying into Mom about spending a buck to buy eggs for potato salad. She was becoming upset, but it is good for her to realize how cheap she is....

When she broke down, now my brother is eating the potato salad and had a forkful with a huge egg on the fork about 4 inches from his mouth when mom says,

“I didn’t buy these eggs”

We all kind of froze, I can see my brother turning light green.

Then she continues, “Monica and I were taking a walk around the lake, and I found them”.

Brother is now a pleasant olive color..

I asked” you found them where”?

She says, “ in the grass around the lake hiking path”..

Continuing, “ there are dux there you know”.

Me, “these are dux eggs?”

Her, “I think so, and they are free!”

Me, “how old are these eggs?”

Her, “I don’t know, but we din’t see them when we walked the lake a couple weeks ago”.

Me laughing as brother is starting to sweat, “ how do you know they are any good?”

Her, “ the dux weren’t setting on them and they looked ok to me”.

Me, “ do you know what kind of dux egg it is”

Her, “it doesn’t matter, an egg is an egg, and they were free”.
I think this is when little brother went to the boys room to puke...

I had a great Easter, because, I am smart enough to not eat her cooking.. the rest did not have a good Easter.

I didn't know I had a brother. Mom never told me about you.

 

[Muscovy Wunda]

Shhhhhh!!

I do, but it is strictly for educational purposes.
I have not been south of the Mason-Dixon Line in years.

Educational purposes? Or recreational purposes?

 

[duluthralphie]

Educational purposes? Or recreational purposes?

Educational, I use to study southies in their native habitat.

 

[duluthralphie]

I didn't know I had a brother. Mom never told me about you.

Your Mom like cheap imitation miracle whip?

 

[shawluvsbirds]

Your Mom like cheap imitation miracle whip?

I do! I specifically like "best choice whipped salad dressing"

 

[duluthralphie]

I do! I specifically like "best choice whipped salad dressing"

I am not sure if I should call you weirdo or Mom. Of course, those terms are interchangeable.

 

[shawluvsbirds]

I am not sure if I should call you weirdo or Mom. Of course, those terms are interchangeable.

No no no.
Mom is waaayyy worster than weirdo.

Btw you should refrain from name calling anyway. Report report report!!

 

[duluthralphie]

No no no.
Mom is waaayyy worster than weirdo.

Btw you should refrain from name calling anyway. Report report report!!

nicknames don’t count...