Who do you go to cry on the shoulder of?

[easttxchick]

Quote:
X2 except I know He listens and I know He hears you and me too

. Thankfully He's always been at the helm for me, for while it's not always been an easy road, it absolutely could have been SO much worse. And I always try to keep in mind that everyone has their burdens to bear and I try not to add mine to them.

This! Agree 100%.
I DO go out and hang with my ducks. Just watching them or holding them(against their will, I might add) is my therapy.

 

[Avalon1984]

Sadly, a fact of life is most of the problems you will face, things that will make you cry, will be things that you have to work through yourself. Many times people will not have a connection to you as to why you are sad about things, what certain things meant to you. It is a tough time, but it makes you stronger. I went through many years of that myself, they were lonely years. Luckily I was able to find a husband who shares my passion for things, who understands what makes me sad, and I am grateful for that.

 

[lorain's fids]

I have no one to go to that would truly be there to listen to me and not be judgemental about what i'm having problems/troubles with. And generally I'm the one who listens to OTHER peoples problems/troubles. When something is bothering me my DH will ask whats wrong, and then I'll proceed to tell him and he'll just tell me to get over it and move on.....
I do talk to my animals, and by me just talking to them it makes me feel a little better-soemtimes.

 

[mandelyn]

I either talk to my husband or no one at all and figure it out myself. For other people... I'm a terrible shoulder. I'm only good for practical advice and a cold drink. I get freaked out when people start crying. I never cry myself... even in the most tragic circumstances. Well I did when my mom passed away 10 years ago, but that's about as bad as you can get with life's tragedies. I haven't since though.

My husband is the one that showed me how to use emotions... I thought they always just got in the way. He showed me their purpose and I thank him for that. But I still fall into practical thought and face reality head on without stopping to cry over it.

What irks me most is when people avoid emotional situations, or when something bad is happening to a person or a family, and they go distant. When I was 14, my best friend had a relapse with Leukemia. We had a lot of friends through the church's youth group. But the more she went into the hospital, the less they came around. They all just disappeared, every one of them, until the day of the funeral when they all showed up again. I stood with her sister and her parents... wondering why these people showed up now and not at all the previous months. Her sister commented on it, not understanding.

Does it hurt less if you avoid it? I don't know. It must, or people wouldn't do it. But that seems an awful lot like abandoning a person when they need you most. When it matters most, I'm a good shoulder. When you're complaining about life's mundane issues and drama... well... here's a beer, here's advice, and a couple of jokes and topic changes too. If you still need support, hopefully you have a better shoulder than I for when you need to continue on about office politics, boyfriend issues, or whatever else.

You only call me when you're having some serious life altering issues. Then I'll stick around when everyone else leaves you hanging because it's "too much". Call them for the little things... I'm terrible about letting you know the actual scope of things. Oh, your husband is out of town for 2 weeks and you're sad? Be glad he's not going to Iraq again. I'd LOVE for a 2 week break! In fact, I'm jealous... why are you sad? Do you have any idea what you can accomplish in that two weeks? A spotless house, complete control over the TV remote, 2 hour bubble bath, eat the whole pint of icecream without sharing!

 

[chicmom]

I talk to my best friend when I have a problem...My husband Dave. He is a rough-around-the-edges tattooed bear of a guy, but boy is he the best friend I've ever had. I can tell him things without being judged.

Can't tell my parents a thing. Never could. Now they're in their mid 70s, and I don't dare share any problems with them, because they are getting a bit frail. I don't want them to worry about any of my problems. I sort of watch over them now.

My kids, Nick and Joe, are always on my side. I don't share alot regarding my problems because I don't think a parent should do that.....Some things I do share though.....if they ask.

If I need an opinion, I do have two girlfriends at work that I can talk to....Sometimes they help.....Sometimes I just need to vent.

When things get really hairy, I really have to look deep inside.....To the conscience.....God, I guess.......

This is the time when I can say I am thankful for my life, and for all you peeps on BYC! It's good to be able to reflect on things....

Sharon

 

[punk-a-doodle]

My husband. He is a wonderful human being, and sometimes I feel that we understand each other better than we understand ourselves. X) Before meeting him though, I was a closed book. I've opened up a lot for me since then.

 

[Criskin]

Usually I opt for hubby...he is so logical and sensible that he is able to melt my big problems into more manageable ones and, if all else fails, just quietly holds me until it passes. If I don't think I can talk to him, or he is the one I'm upset with, I call my dad. He is a great listener and almost never fails to make me laugh. He can also explain things from a man's perspective in a way that makes sense. Sometimes, though, only another woman can understand so I call my sister. I feel so lucky to have 3 such people in my life.

 

[Fierlin1182]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, everyone. Some of your posts are really uplifting to read!

mandelyn: I think some people just feel confronted by bad news. When there's trouble brewing among my friends, nobody seems to want to talk about it much. I don't bring it up if they don't, because I can only assume that they are trying not to brew over things too much.

Some of the situations you mention probably fit under one of the categories of shoulders I don't like to cry on.

I read a quote once in a book, that girls don't want practical advice for their problems, just someone who can be sympathetic and listen to them cry.

Oh, and one song I've gotten into lately... "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I"m alone"

 

[Beekissed]

Quote:
THIS!

And my mama, of course....

 

[zzGypsy]

lorain's fids :

I have no one to go to that would truly be there to listen to me and not be judgemental about what i'm having problems/troubles with. And generally I'm the one who listens to OTHER peoples problems/troubles. When something is bothering me my DH will ask whats wrong, and then I'll proceed to tell him and he'll just tell me to get over it and move on.....
I do talk to my animals, and by me just talking to them it makes me feel a little better-soemtimes.

some guys ...

when you're the listener in the group, it's tough to ever be the one who talks...
I'd be the listener in my group too (but you do have to tell me up front if you want advice or not). that's why I've got a good shrink...​