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Cooper started Preschool today

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by BarefootMom, Sep 1, 2011.

  1. Quote:I respectfully disagree. Pre school is not necessary to teach a child how to socialize. They can learn to socialize in kindergarten when they are that much more mature. My baby did not go to pre school and had no issues with socialization. None what so ever. It is a falsehood that society has recently started to push. Pre school is a relatively new step in a childs life. Prior to the womens lib movement, mom's were at home with the children until kindergarten and there were no issues with kindergarten children being unable to socialize with one another. There are no issues with it today either. He does not need pre school to teach socialization. Cooper has an advantage on all the children who have previously been in daycare. His advantage is that he's been in the loving nurturing care of the people who love him most in this world, his whole life. He is fortunate that day care has not been a part of his life. There is no better situation than that. If Erin can teach him his colors, numbers and letters, then pre school is not necessary and it certainly is not necessary to teach him how to be socialized.

    My Country Chronicles Blog
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2011
  2. swampcat

    swampcat Songster

    Apr 18, 2011
    Brooklyn, CT
    I completely understand how you feel. I'm a SAHM, too and my kids have never been watched by anyone that is not family. Your son's first Pre-K experience is the same that my son had last year. He was in the 3 hour afternoon class. We'd get there and I'd get him set up with his snack (he'd always eat lunch at home with me). He'd be eating as I watched him and as I walked towards the door.....He cried.... I cried.... then I'd bring him home. Of course the teacher suggests that I should just leave him and all will be fine, but it's against every motherly fiber in my body to leave my child when he is upset. I would definitely confront the teacher. She didn't tell you about his day? What they did? Who he played with? That's a big red flag IMO. Confront her. Ask her if you can stay off in a corner for the day (enlist a family member to hang out at home with your other kiddos) and shorten that time everyday. Odds are by the second day, he will be too busy playing to even notice that you left earlier. Or try the other way a previous poster suggested with shortening his time there.

    [​IMG] Hugs to you, Momma. It's hard stuff sending babies to school. After those first few days I swore to my husband that if I could homeschool in a proper manner, I would. Unfortunately there really isn't much of a social network for homeschoolers here. But lucky for me my kiddo adjusted quick and loved school... and I love that 3 hour span where I can get a lot of my schoolwork done!

    We'll see how kindergarten goes next week.....
  3. pbjmaker

    pbjmaker Crowing

    May 9, 2008
    Central Iowa
    Keltara - while it IS great when moms can be at home with their children and expose them to the world around them - unfortunately there is a WHOLE segment of society where the kids DO need that added year or two of school. It is better for them to be there with kids their own age learning and playing than at home plopped in front of a TV ignored and never learning anything. There are really good preschool programs out there that help parents learn to be better parents and interact with their kids appropriately and to not be afraid of schools and their teachers.

    I have seen many kids that come from dysfunctional families get identified early as needing extra help and support AND trust me it is better to help them when they are younger.

    No not every kid needs preschool, but it isn't harmful if the program is the right fit for the child. I would not judge this program on just one morning. I do worry thought that the teacher didn't talk to the parent - that is what makes a good program. Communication.
  4. Quote:Again, I must respectfully disagree. Making the generalizationh that children should be in pre school based on the assumption that a large segment of children sit at home in front of the T.V. is not right. First of all, in Erin's case, clearly that is not the situation. Secondly, I honestly feel that even if it WERE the case, a child would be better off at home with mom. There is not one single day care or pre school teacher who can love a child like a parent.

    Over stimulation in a preschool where other kids are the main influence on a young child is not in any way the most nurturing situation for a child. Children need to feel a sense of security, and being with mom and dad as long as possible is what gives a child the best sense of security and self. Not a situation where a stranger is "managing" other small children including your own.

    Erin, your instincts are telling you what you need to do. Follow your heartfelt mother instincts and give your baby boy one more year out of his entire life to be exclusively with mommy. You will regret it if you don't. I regret sending my Tara to preschool for that ONE year. If I could go back and do it again, she's be home with mommy. Exploring nature, animals, playing with her baby sissy, learning from mommy and daddy and living in a totally safe, secure, happy 4 year old bliss. I'm glad that I kept my baby home from pre school.

    My Country Chronicles Blog
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2011
  5. BarefootMom

    BarefootMom Songster

    Jul 20, 2010
    Half Way, Missouri
    I just want to clarify- this is a public school preschool. We live in a small rural community where the preschool is part of the school. Our school is all in one building, so the kids he goes to pre-k with will be the ones he is in school with. I went to preschool for 3 years- started when I was 2 at the same school.

    This evening has been a bit better- he told us stuff they did today and said he had fun. I think he was just overly tired. He usually naps in the afternoon, and now this class is 11:50 till 2:50. I can't pick him up earlier, it is a school system and they don't really want you picking up your child earlier. I was the 2nd parent there this afternoon. He said tonight that he wanted to go back tomorrow so we will see.

    It has been a hard day on me today. Not only this but other family issues and I got a BYC warning for stating what I believe in. I think I just need to take a break.
  6. melodie_a

    melodie_a Songster

    Aug 28, 2010
    Sanford, NC
    It will get easier. It won't be long and he will be begging you not to come so early! Spend time engaging him about his day, talk to him about the other children and help him associate with them. Ask who had the best shirt or shoes, and does he think that anyone else has chickens, dogs, cats, robots, cars etc. whatever he thinks is fun, ask him who was the loudest and the quietest that will get him more involved with the other kids and tomorrow he will spend more time being around them because he is going to want to know the answers to the questions you are going to ask him about them. Just be really positive about it and he will be also. You know what is best for your child, give him time to adjust to the change (and yourself time also) and then decide what you think is best.

    Good luck! I hope tomorrow goes great.[​IMG]
  7. pbjmaker

    pbjmaker Crowing

    May 9, 2008
    Central Iowa
    Keltara - we will have to agree to disagree - I work with these children on a daily basis. When a child is picked up at a bus stop and is being screamed at by his mom, comes to school with a chip on his shoulder, tries punching teachers, calls you names that would make a sailor blush, manages to get a good punch in on the sub all because he is angry and full of rage from living in a horrible home - umm NO he is not better off at home. That was just ONE kid I worked with last year - there were 8 more like him in the class I was in.

    You are correct that most children would be fine at home, but it doesn't make one a bad parent to send their child to a half day preschool.

    Erin - Obviously you care about the welfare of your child and each individual child is different. I hope things work out for you and Cooper, he is an ADORABLE kid.
  8. CowgirlJules

    CowgirlJules Songster

    Mar 26, 2010
    Atwater, CA
    I only have my own experience to relate to. I was a SAHM for the first five years of my oldest son's life. I went back to work the same week that I found out that I was pregnant with my younger son. So the elder hadn't really been exposed to other kids much until he was five, while the younger was right from the start, as I had to keep working. And I don't doubt that it's also due to their individual personalities, but my older son is 17 now and still doesn't relate well to other people. My younger son is 13 and a complete social butterfly. They're like night and day. Once I saw how well my younger son was doing, I seriously kicked myself for not properly socializing the elder, even though that might not be the reason for his issues.

    But I had to do what I had to do at the time, and there's no point beating myself up over it. Cooper will be fine, it will just take him a little bit to adjust to the strange situation.
  9. ChikeeMomma

    ChikeeMomma Songster

    Mar 29, 2009
    Mid Michigan
    What a cutie! He will have a great time! I do think that 4 year old preschool is a good thing! Around here kindergarten is all day now. 4 year old preschool does socialize them in a class setting. They do go from activity to activity in a class room, which they need to know how to do. I know that sounds silly, but kids do need to learn how to switch from one activity to the next as effortlessly as possible in preparation for kindergarten. I would think that it would be hard for a little one to go from not being in a class setting to all day kindergarten.

    My DD#1 was so shy. She was in a 3 year old program and a 4year old program. We could have done without the 3year old program, but she thoroughly enjoyed it. I put her in it because I was worried she needed more socialization. Our friends had only started having kids and we really weren't involved in different things like we are now. I can remember being so worried that she'd cry and she never did. She was my really shy one! I can still remember her trotting off with her little backpack. She felt like such a big girl!

    Now it is DD#2's turn. She's going to the 4 yearl old program. We'll see how it goes! She is my game player! She probably will have some insecurities the first couple of days, but will thoroughly enjoy it! It will help that she has a friend from church in the same preschool class.

    Best of luck!!!!! Enjoy some time to yourself momma! [​IMG]
  10. ChikeeMomma

    ChikeeMomma Songster

    Mar 29, 2009
    Mid Michigan
    Quote:OK that makes me kind of sad - while teachers don't have time to chat with every parent for 20 minutes at the end of the day, she still should have told you how long he had been crying and what she had done to comfort him. Is he in a half day or all day program?

    half day and there are only 7 kids in his class, so I felt like she could have talked to me. but she didn't.

    Sorry BarefootMom -- I didn't see this post. I'd hang in there. Try to talk with her again. See if you can come in early or speak on the phone. Maybe the first day was a little hairy for her, too. Let her know all your concerns. I was painfully shy and cried when being dropped off at preschool. I truly enjoyed my time there, but just felt scared at the same time. My mom sometimes stayed (not sure if that was a good thing). She most likely stepped out once I was comfy -- I don't remember. He may settle in after a couple of weeks. Maybe you could have a playdate with one or two of the kids in his class.

    If teacher says he's enjoying himself during class then I wouldn't worry. As mentioned in the other post, my second DD is the absolute game player. She will turn on the water works, but I drop her off anyway to Sunday School. If I stand at the door (she can't see me), those tears dry right up and she has fun! If someone gives her extra comfort, which is very nice, the water works may continue for a bit longer -- see a total game player! : ) Some kids are truly shy and insecure -- I think I was as a child. You will have to decide if he is truly insecure or a game player like mine. Best wishes!

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