Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[featherhead007]

Now that I can name a pullet. But if she makes me mad I might have to call her featherbrain!


She perks up for food, and will savagely attack anyone who gets in her way! But she isn’t well, she sleeps most of the time, and I am keeping the pain meds going.

She is winding down.


Yes your Majesty, Butterscotch is proud to follow in your illustrious claw prints, she only lacks a beard and muffs, but she does have a splendid topknot. If that counts.

I am sure she will be jealous that I am answering for her, but she is now roosting for the night.




He’s fine, but tonight I will give him some Tylenol in case he is uncomfortable, and clean his sores again.

I’d hate to have anything bad happen to Mr. P

 

[Debbie292d]

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[Ponypoor]

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced
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Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

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He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

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To Her Royal Highness, Queen Aurora

Madam,

Last rear I wrote about a dilemma regarding my harem being enticed to produce the perfect batch of babies.

It seems that I needn’t have worried about my Harem becoming creative in producing babies, my Hooman servant has been more than willing to help my ladies produce my valuable offspring, so much so that now the flock is more than double from last year.

And now she has allowed one of my beautiful hens to sit on eggs, at this time of year, with winter coming on. I feel that she is trying to show that my ladies are as good as the famous Momma Hen, not even my hens are that famous!

Can you send my Hooman a missive regarding the need to not allow my ladies to produce more babies until the Spring when I can get the babies outside and show them The Ways of the Chicken. Soon the snow will be here and I do not want my babies getting lost in 2’ of snow.

Yours respectfully,


Mr P (Perfect Balanced)

I’m a hunk-a hunk-a chook

 

[BY Bob]

I assume field corn must be tougher than sweet corn? When I have grown sweet corn they has no problem tearing it off the cob.

Field Corn is very hard.

 

[Ponypoor]

I’d hate to have anything bad happen to Mr. P

Yep I am glad I was able to catch this; just that little bit of ointment I applied last night did wonders. The skin above his eye, in the crease of the skin fold is way better. Now if I can get his ear and neck fold cleared up he will be much better. I’ll need to reorder some ointment though.

 

[Ponypoor]

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Hahahaha

Ok but still requires tax

 

[BY Bob]

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Beautiful lady.

 

[ChicoryBlue]

My chooks can only free range in the yard supervised because we have a disproportionate amount of predator activity, for a small city yard , so I get them out like twice a week.View attachment 3682197
Fez, despite being happy that today was one of those days, still prefers meal worms to earth worms.View attachment 3682199They ended up dodging a couple of Cooper’s hawk dive-bombs. Alas.

And I couldn’t figure out the best way to add a video? So here is a still photo of an interesting phenomena. My two pullets, bottom of the pecking order, kept harassing the dog! Trying to steal her “treat” (she was just chewing on a stick), chasing then posing tall near her, and pecking at her butt and legs. She’s getting hen pecked! And not following the proper pecking order rules of loser runs away- she just stands submissively taking it. Poor girl.

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You might consider enclosing a portion of your yard with electric fencing against ground predators, and then putting up aviary netting against the aerial predators, running the aviary netting to the ground within the electric fencing. That’s what I do.

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Tina made me fall this morning so she had to remain out the back for a couple of hours while I cleaned myself up and tried too heal a little but she was in the grass for a good few hours today.
It was cold but we had a little sun with no rain thankfully

I'm really exhausted, so after making her eat wet layers and cleaning her legs and feet she had to go into the coop. I've just given her more turkey leg meat and I'm pooped.

I just wish she would eat wet food on her own, this is worrying me

The ligaments get tighter as we age, so stretching & strengthening the muscles holding the skeletal frame together helps, but that’s often why things just plain hurt more after we fall. Everything is not as rubbery & resilient as before. My 75 year-old ski racer friend use to work out and muscle up like crazy, all in order to survive a ski racing crash relatively intact. Which is what happened, he had a bad crash in a race last winter and didn’t die or have any neck, spinal or internal injuries, but he re-injured what was already a not-great shoulder.

Princess and eating: you know this already: she wants to eat with a flock / tribe. That’s her nature. Chickens need to be with other compatriots all doing the same things. You’re her tribe leader, and you and the doggie and kitty are her tribe. So it’s only natural she’s taking her lead from you, and feeling encouraged to eat when you’re there showing her what to eat, tidbitting for her. She’s not out of the woods in her adjustment to life without Tina. That will be awhile. I’d say coddle her for now, if you can. for Princess and you!

Well, I have some answers to issues happening lately. My shoulder, getting a x-ray and MRI to confirm but he diagnosed it as a torn muscle. While he was feeling around he hit the right spot with his fingers and I about came off the table. Claims he could feel a partial tear. The other issue I have been having for a month now is strange dizzy spells. They hit out of no where, not related to my blood sugar and are different from a low blood sugar dizzy spell and last longer. My vision is even affected and during them I have to close my eyes or whatever I am trying to look at is jerking back and forth. I was afraid it could be heart related. Blood pressure is perfect like always and I had 2 ekg's ran, perfect. My doctor thinks they are a seizure. Going to try to do it on the same day, but I also have to have 2 MRI's done on my brain, with and without contrast along with a ultrasound on my carotid just to make sure there is no blockage then see a neurologist. I was not expecting this, but when I was a baby I did have 3 febrile seizures. I am relieved that as of right now they do not think it is heart related but seizures scare me just as much.

The jerking back and forth doesn’t sound like vertigo, where you would feel the world is flying in one direction, not two directions, and your eyes would be trying to keep up. I am hoping for the best for you with that! The shoulder injury as @bgmathteach and @Ponypoor say, can heal I think to pretty good satisfaction if given the right rest and also rehab, if the doctor is right that’s good news.

PS that polka dot silkie also has insanely feathered feet and legs, it looks like. Right up your alley. However, it looks like she can’t see a darn thing from under all that poof! Honestly I am not really in favor of such excessive poofness. Maybe her Servant hand-feeds her?

OK. I will come clean.
I don’t think I know what writing in cursive actually means!

Is it the same as ‘joined up writing’?

Sounds like it. We learned letter printing and then cursive in early grammar school. “Cursive” is the way to join the printed letters together without lifting the pen or pencil from the paper, is that what your term means?

 

[BY Bob]

Well, I have some answers to issues happening lately. My shoulder, getting a x-ray and MRI to confirm but he diagnosed it as a torn muscle. While he was feeling around he hit the right spot with his fingers and I about came off the table. Claims he could feel a partial tear. The other issue I have been having for a month now is strange dizzy spells. They hit out of no where, not related to my blood sugar and are different from a low blood sugar dizzy spell and last longer. My vision is even affected and during them I have to close my eyes or whatever I am trying to look at is jerking back and forth. I was afraid it could be heart related. Blood pressure is perfect like always and I had 2 ekg's ran, perfect. My doctor thinks they are a seizure. Going to try to do it on the same day, but I also have to have 2 MRI's done on my brain, with and without contrast along with a ultrasound on my carotid just to make sure there is no blockage then see a neurologist. I was not expecting this, but when I was a baby I did have 3 febrile seizures. I am relieved that as of right now they do not think it is heart related but seizures scare me just as much.

I'm so glad you are starting to get answers. These are pretty tough things to deal with without getting help. I hope things improve quick for you and they can find out what is going on.

 

[Ponypoor]

You might consider enclosing a portion of your yard with electric fencing against ground predators, and then putting up aviary netting against the aerial predators, running the aviary netting to the ground within the electric fencing. That’s what I do.


The ligaments get tighter as we age, so stretching & strengthening the muscles holding the skeletal frame together helps, but that’s often why things just plain hurt more after we fall. Everything is not as rubbery & resilient as before. My 75 year-old ski racer friend use to work out and muscle up like crazy, all in order to survive a ski racing crash relatively intact. Which is what happened, he had a bad crash in a race last winter and didn’t die or have any neck, spinal or internal injuries, but he re-injured what was already a not-great shoulder.

Princess and eating: you know this already: she wants to eat with a flock / tribe. That’s her nature. Chickens need to be with other compatriots all doing the same things. You’re her tribe leader, and you and the doggie and kitty are her tribe. So it’s only natural she’s taking her lead from you, and feeling encouraged to eat when you’re there showing her what to eat, tidbitting for her. She’s not out of the woods in her adjustment to life without Tina. That will be awhile. I’d say coddle her for now, if you can. for Princess and you!


The jerking back and forth doesn’t sound like vertigo, where you would feel the world is flying in one direction, not two directions, and your eyes would be trying to keep up. I am hoping for the best for you with that! The shoulder injury as @bgmathteach and @Ponypoor say, can heal I think to pretty good satisfaction if given the right rest and also rehab, if the doctor is right that’s good news.

PS that polka dot silkie also has insanely feathered feet and legs, it looks like. Right up your alley. However, it looks like she can’t see a darn thing from under all that poof! Honestly I am not really in favor of such excessive poofness. Maybe her Servant hand-feeds her?


Sounds like it. We learned letter printing and then cursive in early grammar school. “Cursive” is the way to join the printed letters together without lifting the pen or pencil from the paper, is that what your term means?

That silkie is likely being groomed for showing, I would bet they trim her poof when she isn’t showing - at least that is what I would do. Gosh I hope they do that.

I still need to trim Muffys whiskers.