Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

Pics
Date sort Score sort
Grandma The Chicken said:
Parmesan's molting is everywhere. I'll upload the side and back of her later.
View attachment 3365026
Tony loves being by the fire.
View attachment 3365027
Grandma's second favorite sunny spot.
View attachment 3365030
Here is one photo of Parmesan's backside.
View attachment 3365032Mozzarella tries to fall asleep. Also, her tail has one feather hanging on for dear life.
View attachment 3365034
Who said anything about exploring a forest? Grandma explores the bush.
View attachment 3365037
I don't know what is Parmesan and Mozzarella's deal but they love this bush so much.
View attachment 3365067
This is a sign your chicken is having too much fun.
View attachment 3365069
Enjoying a pumpkin that rotted in the cold.
View attachment 3365070
Are you trying to hide behind that tree?
View attachment 3365075
Hmm, I wonder where Grandma is hiding...
View attachment 3365077
This is how flexible and good-balanced kids sneak out of their own home.
View attachment 3365082
This spot is really comfortable. Let me close my eyes for a few seconds.
View attachment 3365083
Big yawn.
View attachment 3365084
Tony and Parmesan love to play before dark after dinner.
View attachment 3365085
Flap those wings, Tony.
View attachment 3365086
No drinks and ice cream sharing for them. A piece of lettuce is all they share.
View attachment 3365087
Click to expand...
Omg . I love these pictures.

🤔 Is that my princess over there

20221225_134724.jpg
 
Ask Aurora

Today’s question comes from Bernadette.

A51A6BA5-2C8E-4E77-A31C-CB107F337D93.jpeg


She writes……….


Dear Aurora,
I think you know I am a HUGE FAN - and although I can never have a beard like yours, I consider you a role model.

I have heard my human servant talk about wanting more chickens. She often has fanciful ideas (like asking me to sit on her lap) so at first I just ignored it. But she has now said it several times and so I am getting worried.

What does she want with more chickens? Surely I am magnificent enough to make other chickens un-necessary? I enclose a recent picture so you can confirm that I am indeed magnificent.

Also, I still have my work cut out for me ensuring that I get the prime roost spot each night and I only have to battle dear Diana for that spot. I cannot contemplate needing to handle more than Diana.

Honestly, it is exhausting just to think about!

I think I have to stop this whole idea before it gets out of hand. How can I get my servant thinking on more constructive lines like providing more treats instead of this more chickens nonsense?

Yours in complete awe of your achievements,
Bernadette


Dear Bernadette,
From the stories my human has been telling me about you I sense we may be kindred spirits. You certainly understand the “Way of the Chicken” and seem to be living up to the code. Don’t be too disappointed about not having a beard and muffs. Not everyone can grow one. You may want to try Spicey Food. I have heard rumors that it could help create facial feathers.

Looking at your picture I must admit that you are an attractive lady. You would think that someone with your superior looks would be enough for any human. However, humans do not think like chickens do. You need to learn about how humans think to understand what is going to happen to you.

Humans are strange. They never feel they have enough chickens. They are always looking to add more. More usually means different as well. I swear my humans are trying to make a rainbow of some kind. It’s like they want one of every kind. You should see the weirdos they have added to my tribe.

20221108_082337.jpg


Are those even chickens?

And then there is egg color. Some humans. Like mine are fixated on special color eggs. It wasn’t enough that I gave them beautiful pink eggs, no they had to have blue. I think blue eggs are disgusting. They look like they are spoiled or something.

You need to learn this one thing. Humans are always looking to add more different chickens. They even have a phrase for this tendency. They call it “Chicken Math”.

Chicken Math is not all bad though. There is a reason the smart hen wants to be high up in the pecking order. It is “The Way of the Chicken” for a good reason. Sure we get the choicest treats and food. There is also one more thing you get that you have not experienced. We get minions.

Here are some of my minions.

20230103191758.jpg


You have not experienced the pure extasy it is to be worshiped. Minions will worship you. The smart ones will even bow down when you approach.

You can assign tasks to minions if they prove themselves worthy and they will be thankful for it! For example, you do not always have stand sentinel duty anymore. One of your minions can do it for you.

Minions are free game for friendly (or not so friendly) reminders that they are below you in the pecking order. So, peck them whenever you want. Always remember, it is your sworn duty to remind them of their lowly status whenever possible. That is “The Way of the Chicken”. In fact, it can be tons of fun to ambush and surprise them and make them flee your presence in fear. You already have exceptional roosting talents, put those talents to special use by forcing a minion off the roost at night. It lends a special sense of accomplishment and closure to a long day spent teaching your minions you are their better.

Just because something is your duty doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

I do need to give you one warning though. New chickens may just be bold enough to try and challenge your status. You must destroy them utterly when they first arrive. Typically, the humans will try to make you all be friends. Yes, humans are silly. They do not understand that we can’t be friends until everyone understands their place in the order of things. Once everyone understands their place then we can socialize “nicely”. As you know this is ever “The Way of the Chicken”.

In order to help us to be “friends” the humans will let you meet the newcomers but will keep you separated by wire so you can’t touch them. This is the most important time. You must heed my words. This is when you must, hear me, YOU MUST, intimidate the crap out of them. Charge the wire without running into it while screaming at them. Scrape your beak on the wire like you are sharpening it. Tell them you are going to peck the life out of them as soon as you get the chance. Stare them down. Dedicate part of your day to walking back and forth in front of the wire like some crazy bull just looking for a way to tear through the wire and get at them. They need to think you are nuts.

Humans call this “fence fighting”.

I call it prep.

Then when there is no wire between you for the first time you MUST ATTACK them immediately. Chase them everywhere. Before you know it, they will accept that you are their better and you will have your first minions.

You need to look upon this as an opportunity rather than your human viewing you as not enough. Trust me. You will love being worshiped by your minions. It’s the best.
 
BY Bob said:
Ask Aurora

Today’s question comes from Bernadette.

View attachment 3366686

She writes……….


Dear Aurora,
I think you know I am a HUGE FAN - and although I can never have a beard like yours, I consider you a role model.

I have heard my human servant talk about wanting more chickens. She often has fanciful ideas (like asking me to sit on her lap) so at first I just ignored it. But she has now said it several times and so I am getting worried.

What does she want with more chickens? Surely I am magnificent enough to make other chickens un-necessary? I enclose a recent picture so you can confirm that I am indeed magnificent.

Also, I still have my work cut out for me ensuring that I get the prime roost spot each night and I only have to battle dear Diana for that spot. I cannot contemplate needing to handle more than Diana.

Honestly, it is exhausting just to think about!

I think I have to stop this whole idea before it gets out of hand. How can I get my servant thinking on more constructive lines like providing more treats instead of this more chickens nonsense?

Yours in complete awe of your achievements,
Bernadette


Dear Bernadette,
From the stories my human has been telling me about you I sense we may be kindred spirits. You certainly understand the “Way of the Chicken” and seem to be living up to the code. Don’t be too disappointed about not having a beard and muffs. Not everyone can grow one. You may want to try Spicey Food. I have heard rumors that it could help create facial feathers.

Looking at your picture I must admit that you are an attractive lady. You would think that someone with your superior looks would be enough for any human. However, humans do not think like chickens do. You need to learn about how humans think to understand what is going to happen to you.

Humans are strange. They never feel they have enough chickens. They are always looking to add more. More usually means different as well. I swear my humans are trying to make a rainbow of some kind. It’s like they want one of every kind. You should see the weirdos they have added to my tribe.

View attachment 3366688

Are those even chickens?

And then there is egg color. Some humans. Like mine are fixated on special color eggs. It wasn’t enough that I gave them beautiful pink eggs, no they had to have blue. I think blue eggs are disgusting. They look like they are spoiled or something.

You need to learn this one thing. Humans are always looking to add more different chickens. They even have a phrase for this tendency. They call it “Chicken Math”.

Chicken Math is not all bad though. There is a reason the smart hen wants to be high up in the pecking order. It is “The Way of the Chicken” for a good reason. Sure we get the choicest treats and food. There is also one more thing you get that you have not experienced. We get minions.

Here are some of my minions.

View attachment 3366689

You have not experienced the pure extasy it is to be worshiped. Minions will worship you. The smart ones will even bow down when you approach.

You can assign tasks to minions if they prove themselves worthy and they will be thankful for it! For example, you do not always have stand sentinel duty anymore. One of your minions can do it for you.

Minions are free game for friendly (or not so friendly) reminders that they are below you in the pecking order. So, peck them whenever you want. Always remember, it is your sworn duty to remind them of their lowly status whenever possible. That is “The Way of the Chicken”. In fact, it can be tons of fun to ambush and surprise them and make them flee your presence in fear. You already have exceptional roosting talents, put those talents to special use by forcing a minion off the roost at night. It lends a special sense of accomplishment and closure to a long day spent teaching your minions you are their better.

Just because something is your duty doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

I do need to give you one warning though. New chickens may just be bold enough to try and challenge your status. You must destroy them utterly when they first arrive. Typically, the humans will try to make you all be friends. Yes, humans are silly. They do not understand that we can’t be friends until everyone understands their place in the order of things. Once everyone understands their place then we can socialize “nicely”. As you know this is ever “The Way of the Chicken”.

In order to help us to be “friends” the humans will let you meet the newcomers but will keep you separated by wire so you can’t touch them. This is the most important time. You must heed my words. This is when you must, hear me, YOU MUST, intimidate the crap out of them. Charge the wire without running into it while screaming at them. Scrape your beak on the wire like you are sharpening it. Tell them you are going to peck the life out of them as soon as you get the chance. Stare them down. Dedicate part of your day to walking back and forth in front of the wire like some crazy bull just looking for a way to tear through the wire and get at them. They need to think you are nuts.

Humans call this “fence fighting”.

I call it prep.

Then when there is no wire between you for the first time you MUST ATTACK them immediately. Chase them everywhere. Before you know it, they will accept that you are their better and you will have your first minions.

You need to look upon this as an opportunity rather than your human viewing you as not enough. Trust me. You will love being worshiped by your minions. It’s the best.
Click to expand...
:D :clap and whistling to
 
BY Bob said:
Ask Aurora

Today’s question comes from Bernadette.

View attachment 3366686

She writes……….


Dear Aurora,
I think you know I am a HUGE FAN - and although I can never have a beard like yours, I consider you a role model.

I have heard my human servant talk about wanting more chickens. She often has fanciful ideas (like asking me to sit on her lap) so at first I just ignored it. But she has now said it several times and so I am getting worried.

What does she want with more chickens? Surely I am magnificent enough to make other chickens un-necessary? I enclose a recent picture so you can confirm that I am indeed magnificent.

Also, I still have my work cut out for me ensuring that I get the prime roost spot each night and I only have to battle dear Diana for that spot. I cannot contemplate needing to handle more than Diana.

Honestly, it is exhausting just to think about!

I think I have to stop this whole idea before it gets out of hand. How can I get my servant thinking on more constructive lines like providing more treats instead of this more chickens nonsense?

Yours in complete awe of your achievements,
Bernadette


Dear Bernadette,
From the stories my human has been telling me about you I sense we may be kindred spirits. You certainly understand the “Way of the Chicken” and seem to be living up to the code. Don’t be too disappointed about not having a beard and muffs. Not everyone can grow one. You may want to try Spicey Food. I have heard rumors that it could help create facial feathers.

Looking at your picture I must admit that you are an attractive lady. You would think that someone with your superior looks would be enough for any human. However, humans do not think like chickens do. You need to learn about how humans think to understand what is going to happen to you.

Humans are strange. They never feel they have enough chickens. They are always looking to add more. More usually means different as well. I swear my humans are trying to make a rainbow of some kind. It’s like they want one of every kind. You should see the weirdos they have added to my tribe.

View attachment 3366688

Are those even chickens?

And then there is egg color. Some humans. Like mine are fixated on special color eggs. It wasn’t enough that I gave them beautiful pink eggs, no they had to have blue. I think blue eggs are disgusting. They look like they are spoiled or something.

You need to learn this one thing. Humans are always looking to add more different chickens. They even have a phrase for this tendency. They call it “Chicken Math”.

Chicken Math is not all bad though. There is a reason the smart hen wants to be high up in the pecking order. It is “The Way of the Chicken” for a good reason. Sure we get the choicest treats and food. There is also one more thing you get that you have not experienced. We get minions.

Here are some of my minions.

View attachment 3366689

You have not experienced the pure extasy it is to be worshiped. Minions will worship you. The smart ones will even bow down when you approach.

You can assign tasks to minions if they prove themselves worthy and they will be thankful for it! For example, you do not always have stand sentinel duty anymore. One of your minions can do it for you.

Minions are free game for friendly (or not so friendly) reminders that they are below you in the pecking order. So, peck them whenever you want. Always remember, it is your sworn duty to remind them of their lowly status whenever possible. That is “The Way of the Chicken”. In fact, it can be tons of fun to ambush and surprise them and make them flee your presence in fear. You already have exceptional roosting talents, put those talents to special use by forcing a minion off the roost at night. It lends a special sense of accomplishment and closure to a long day spent teaching your minions you are their better.

Just because something is your duty doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

I do need to give you one warning though. New chickens may just be bold enough to try and challenge your status. You must destroy them utterly when they first arrive. Typically, the humans will try to make you all be friends. Yes, humans are silly. They do not understand that we can’t be friends until everyone understands their place in the order of things. Once everyone understands their place then we can socialize “nicely”. As you know this is ever “The Way of the Chicken”.

In order to help us to be “friends” the humans will let you meet the newcomers but will keep you separated by wire so you can’t touch them. This is the most important time. You must heed my words. This is when you must, hear me, YOU MUST, intimidate the crap out of them. Charge the wire without running into it while screaming at them. Scrape your beak on the wire like you are sharpening it. Tell them you are going to peck the life out of them as soon as you get the chance. Stare them down. Dedicate part of your day to walking back and forth in front of the wire like some crazy bull just looking for a way to tear through the wire and get at them. They need to think you are nuts.

Humans call this “fence fighting”.

I call it prep.

Then when there is no wire between you for the first time you MUST ATTACK them immediately. Chase them everywhere. Before you know it, they will accept that you are their better and you will have your first minions.

You need to look upon this as an opportunity rather than your human viewing you as not enough. Trust me. You will love being worshiped by your minions. It’s the best.
Click to expand...
I so needed this today.
 

Similar threads

Sparrow-Song
    • Love
April Showers—Intro for the newest members of the flock
Replies
5
Views
322
Sparrow-Song
Sparrow-Song
PrettyBirdRocky
    • Love
Story of our raising and hatching own to process of mixed flock
3 4 5
Replies
48
Views
4K
PrettyBirdRocky
PrettyBirdRocky
speckledhen
    • Love
    • Like
The Omega Rocks: The Last & Ultimate Barred Plymouth Rock Flock
28 29 30
Replies
297
Views
13K
oldhenlikesdogs
oldhenlikesdogs
Kewpieteef
    • Love
Feather Heaven Flock & Friends
Replies
5
Views
528
Kewpieteef
Kewpieteef
thudson
    • Love
    • Like
Why We Raise Chickens
Replies
8
Views
3K
Daisy June
D

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom