Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[featherhead007]

A few Rocks:

 

[bgmathteach]

Gratuitous Sydney photo

View attachment 3440618

Ah, Sydney:

She may not be queen, but she is the highest in the land (literally!) who taught her chooks to roost up high in the tree (see, @RoyalChick it's not just mine that do that! )
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Well she is highest in the land until Glynda with her svelte body and lanky wing span gets some real outdoor time this spring, that is!

 

[bgmathteach]

Ask Aurora

Today’s question comes from @bgmathteach Broodless BR in MA.

View attachment 3440032

And she writes.......

Dear Aurora,
I have a conundrum regarding 'The Way of the Chicken.", and I am hoping you can clear up my confusion. Now, I know you have little experience with Roosters, but I also know you are wise beyond your years, so here goes:

As I understand it, the top hens have the power, and are the strongest - if not physically, then mentally. Chickens should go broody and continue the species. Low ranking hens get harassed and should not raise chicks, else they may move up in the pecking order, and sometimes the top two hens are so busy that they don't have time to be broody - what with the planning of sneak attacks and all to keep the others in line.
So with that in mind, why do roosters give most of their attention to the top and the bottom on the girls in the pecking order. Wouldn't it make sense for them to curry favor with the top hens, and breed with the middle to upper half, so that the best genetics (without imposing on the Queen, that is) get continued? I am a beautiful upper-mid-level hen, with fine barring, and I'm strong and smart (see my picture below - I was clever enough to escape the run!). I would love to hatch my own babies. Sadly, the roosters pay little mind to me, and frequent the girls at the bottom - to the point of making them bald! Can you help me attract the attentions of my chosen Rooster without also causing him to constantly be wanting nooky, nooky? Once a day would be nice....fertilize my eggs, but not mess up my beautiful feathers too much.

Signed,

Broodless BR in MA

P.S.: This picture was just before molting and getting my shiny new feathers, but it shows both my

strength AND smarts!



Dear Broodless BR in MA,

First I am getting questions from roosters and now I am getting letters from the lovelorn. One would think that it would not be smart to write to someone who has never lived with a rooster and ask for guidance. Well, you would be wrong. “The Way of the Chicken” covers all scenarios and I am nothing if not a master of “The Way”. You are always smart to ask me for guidance.

So, what does “The Way” say about roosters. I have reminded roosters before that they serve 3 main purposes:

• Be willing to die to protect us hens.
• Assist us to replicate the species when permitted.
• Always serve the lead hens.

Your question involves purpose 2. So, let’s look at how rooster’s behave and try to understand their motivations. It is time to put our “Male Goggles” on, become “O Focused” and try to figure out where they are coming from so we might discover some answers to your dilemma.

Male goggles on!

View attachment 3440030
Gosh this is uncomfortable. They are some weird creatures these roosters. OK, to the problem at hand.....

We should try to limit our exploration to fully mature roosters. Teenage roosters are a mess and we might never recover from trying to put ourselves in their shoes.

You point out that roosters spend most of their time on the top and bottom of the pecking order. Why might that be? Let’s use our Male Goggles to see their point of view.

As a male I have 3 things coursing through my brain, Serve, Protect, Replicate. It seems that sometimes they are different orders.

Sometimes it is:

• Serve
• Protect
• Replicate

Other times it might be:

• Protect
• Serve
• Replicate

And there are times it is:

• Replicate
• Replicate
• Replicate
• Replicate
• Protect
• Serve

It seems that the times that Serve is on top it is directly related to the lead hens giving me grief about something. I will pay as much attention to Serve as the lead hens make my life miserable. The more miserable they make it the higher in priority Serve rises.

When Protect is on the top of my list there seems to be some evidence of predators around or heaven forbid, there has been a loss in my tribe. I become hyper-vigilant in those instances.

Replicate comes to the top of my list when everything is going well and frankly the weather turns warm. It is time to make more chickens. The drive is very strong in the spring.

How do I choose with whom I will spend my reproductive time? Well, the younger hens need my help as the older hens take the good food for themselves. This means the younger hens need me to locate food for them. I know that if I am a good provider, they will likely be grateful and reward me with “privileges”. I also know that the younger hens are more fertile, their eggs are younger, they lay more frequently, and because they are more likely to be grateful, they will not expel my gift.

Younger hens also fall for the, “check out this great food I have located” trick and come running when all I have is a leaf or a stick. So, I don’t always have to have food to gain “privileges”. Older hens have seen the trick before and are more skeptical. Older Mid-tier hens know how to find their own choice morsels and rely less on me to do so. In my mind that makes them less likely to reward me with “privileges” and I have to work harder finding even better food and I need to convince them what I have is not a stick or leaf before they will even come to see what I have. So why should I waste effort on them when there are more gullible, more fertile, hens about.

Ok Male Goggles off.

Yikes that was icky! How can they live like that?! Such simple creatures they are.

So, what have we learned? The roosters in your tribe likely see the younger hens as easier to win over and less work than a mature intelligent lady like yourself. Now that we know that the answer to your questions is obvious. Your roosters are not looking for what you are offering. Rather it is time to stop being Janet Wood and start being Chrissy Snow.

Maybe wear your feathers like this?

View attachment 3440031

What does that mean? You need to start falling for whatever the rooster is offering. If he is tidbitting you go running. Whether it is a leaf or something good does not matter.

If he tells a bad joke like…..

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O’Shea.

You need to laugh.

Your roosters are the wisest members of your tribe. Let them take care of you even though you know better.

In short, you need to stop acting like the intelligent, clever, lady of the world you really are and give the roosters what they want, a simple, gullible, egg machine.

Now if this is too much for you, there is another strategy. Get yourself a young rooster and train him right. He will be so happy to have any hen pay attention to him. Trust me he will be thrilled to enjoy “privileges” with you. Of course you will need to deal with his nonsense for 6 to 9 months but if you put in the time you could have yourself a good one. This would also be best for the other smart ladies in your tribe. Perhaps you all could train one together.

I know, these are a real “Sophie’s Choice” for an intelligent clever hen like you. You should be highly valued as a partner and mother of future generations. Sadly, that is not the way most males perceive things.

Now if you don’t mind the chicks not being your own genetic chicks there are other ways to raise a family. The key is to go broody. Then a couple of things could happen.

Your human could get you some. The human here has done that for Phyllis before as we have no rooster. There is no shame in being a foster mother. In fact, those little orphan chicks need a good mum too. Maybe if you go broody on your own, your human could come through for you.

Additionally, you could raise children from other hens in your tribe. Maybe some of the younger hens to whom the roosters do pay attention would donate their eggs to you. You could be surrogate mum for your own tribe.

It is “The Way of the Chicken” to reproduce and make more chickens. It matters not how you come by the little ones.

Do remember though that not all are called to do so. There are career chickens out there and their life is no less fulfilling. You need only look at me to see a shining example of a life well lived without children. Children are a blessing and I understand your desire to have some of your own however should that not come to pass please remember your life is still valuable. There are many roles that we hens can fulfill and some of us will only ever be Aunties. That too is OK.

With your beauty, strength, and smarts, you are a fine example of what a chicken should be. Keep up the good work no matter what you decide.

Yours in “henhood”,

Aurora

View attachment 3440029


DISCLAIMER: Aurora understands that there are outliers in every group. There may be roosters out there who think and act differently. However, they are the exception. Aurora’s advice is based on the “common” rooster.

Dear Aurora,

I must say, at first I was aghast at your reply. REALLY - be a Chrissy Snow? The indignity of it!

But, once I got over that shock and reread your wise advise, I realized that I was right to ask for your help. No one but you would have the strength to withstand the 'Male Goggles', and, stepping back from my indignation and viewing it from their perspective

, as you so well described, has truly enlightened me. I shall try to act the part of helpless, hapless female for as long as I can endure - or at least until I have a fine clutch of eggs

to brood!

Thank you again, oh wise Queen. Long live the Queen!

Your faithful subject,

Broodless BR in MA

(hopefully I shall be able to change my name soon, thanks to you!)

 

[Ponypoor]

ENABLER

Oh but of course! I have been taught well by those before me

Meanwhile I have my eggs ready for the incubator 2 each of Blanche, Sophia and Marty ( I and dreading getting Roos though).

 

[Ponypoor]

A few Rocks:
View attachment 3440657

Awwww it’s BR day I do so love a nice BR, if I didn’t have my brood I would have some.

Of course fate should hand me my niece’s brood including her BR this summer, she has a new house and can’t have chickens and rumour has it my sister and BIL are selling so guess those chooks will need to go somewhere!

 

[Ponypoor]

Dear Aurora,

I must say, at first I was aghast at your reply. REALLY - be a Chrissy Snow? The indignity of it!

But, once I got over that shock and reread your wise advise, I realized that I was right to ask for your help. No one but you would have the strength to withstand the 'Male Goggles', and, stepping back from my indignation and viewing it from their perspective

, as you so well described, has truly enlightened me. I shall try to act the part of helpless, hapless female for as long as I can endure - or at least until I have a fine clutch of eggs View attachment 3440719 to brood!

Thank you again, oh wise Queen. Long live the Queen!

Your faithful subject,

Broodless BR in MA
View attachment 3440717
(hopefully I shall be able to change my name soon, thanks to you!)

I have my fingers crossed for you BBR you are a splendid gal

 

[featherhead007]

Awwww it’s BR day I do so love a nice BR, if I didn’t have my brood I would have some.

Of course fate should hand me my niece’s brood including her BR this summer, she has a new house and can’t have chickens and rumour has it my sister and BIL are selling so guess those chooks will need to go somewhere!

Who would buy a house that doesn’t allow chickens? That’s nutz!

 

[featherhead007]

I cannot understand just where all this rain is coming from. I don’t remember when it had been this bad before. It won’t stop!

 

[Ponypoor]

Who would buy a house that doesn’t allow chickens? That’s nutz!

Price price price… very expensive here for country homes

Thus a home in a development with no chickens allowed boohoo

And a likely re-homing to my barn…

 

[Ponypoor]

I cannot understand just where all this rain is coming from. I don’t remember when it had been this bad before. It won’t stop!

They call it an Atmospheric River, moisture from the Pacific being brought in and dumped on the whole west coast, Canada had this issue couple years ago, it wiped out the main road to Vancouver took weeks to get fixed nothing could move from the west coast through Canada.

I hope this weather patterns settles down for you.

Keep your chooks safe and dry, and you also be safe.