Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[Ponypoor]

California has the perfect weather in the southern part. Warm in the day, but cools off in the night when I need it cool. Arizona is awful. I've stayed there. I had the fan at full blast and that wasn't enough to cool me down.

Sounds nice

But too hard to get my horses and chickens there. Not to mention the whole being Canadian thing

Guess I will just keep cranking the heat up!

Look who was absorbing the heat such as it was, today

 

[Ponypoor]

Ask Aurora
Today's Ask Aurora comes from @featherhead007 hen Coco.

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And she writes.....

“Dear Aurora, how do I get a job at Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room?”
Signed Coco


Dear Coco,

Before we get to specific strategies designed to get you a job in the Tiki Room, I think an exploration of what happens to chickens in show business might be of some value to you.

Perhaps the most famous Chicken to make it big in show business is none other than Foghorn Leghorn. Being a leghorn, he had the smarts and looks to get to the top and stay there. No one was as witty as Foghorn. For a long time, he stood at the top of the world.

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But then the jealousy started and whispers were soon passing around Hollywood that he was a closet racist. Rumors abounded that he treated “non-white” chickens on his staff as if they were not even chickens. Even though the rumors were patently false (his staff fiercely defended him and he donated huge sums of money to charities to help fight for the end to caged hens and pastures for all chickens), the roles dried up.

Once the roles dried up Foghorn had to resort to a new career and it had to be away from the spotlight. So obviously, he chose accounting. Now the only joy he has in life comes from his nightly visits to his local watering hole, Bakawks!, where night after night he occupies the same barstool. He is there so often and is still so kind to others that every time he enters the bar everyone yells out “Fog”!

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Then there is Ginger from the hit movie Chicken Run. Never has a star shown so brightly and burned out so quickly. Ginger was the “It” girl after her success in Chicken Run. Everyone wanted her to lead their next project.

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But success went to her head and she thought she was invincible. She started partying day and night. Naturally drugs and alcohol accompanied the partying. Soon she was showing up to the set strung out and hung over. She became more and more difficult to work with and soon the roles were drying up.

Things got so bad that she even resorted to endorsing chicken pot pies.

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In an ironic twist she met her fate in a factory accident. Strung out from partying hard for the week prior, Ginger showed up to do a photoshoot at the pie factory. While having her photo taken Ginger tripped and fell into the machinery meeting her untimely end. Before they could stop the machinery Ginger wound up as part of a few dozen pot pies. All of them WITH GRAVY!


As a final example, how about the cautionary tale of Heihei, also known as “the chicken from Moana”. You may not know this but Heihei and I were friends. Here is a photo of the two of us on set together.

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I am going to share some inside information with you. When Heihei first took the role in Moana, the rooster was written as a brave sidekick much on the order of Lumiere or Mushu. However, once he signed the contract the rewrites began with the end result being the embarrassment to chickens everywhere that the character became. It is a tribute to Heihei that he was a rooster of integrity and refused to back out of his contract no matter how much I begged him to do so. He had given his commitment and he was a rooster of his word.

Well, we all know what happened then. He played the role magnificently. Gave it his all. Because of that he became reviled in the chicken community. He could go nowhere without crowds of chickens verbally abusing him. It has been said that his portrayal set back human’s appreciation of chickens thousands of years.

No longer welcome anywhere in the world where chickens reside, he boarded his boat alone and sailed off. No one, not even I, has heard from him since he departed. I am able through Phyllis’s wizardry with the computer, to track his satellite phone occasionally. I suppose he turns it on to fight with Disney over his shares of the residuals from the film. Here is what Phyllis and I have found.

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As you can see, show business has been a mixed bag at best for chickens. In the 1940s many chickens were part of acts roaming the country where they beat humans at tick-tack-toe or danced on command. I know of one chicken who made it big in New York City. He worked at the Mott Street arcade and was so beloved that when he passed away in 1993 the New York Times ran an obituary for him. His name was Willy and here is a link to his obituary.

https://www.nytimes.com/1993/08/14/...oss-out-a-landmark-on-the-chinatown-tour.html

If I cannot dissuade you from pursuing a career in show business, I hope I have at least given you an idea of the potential pitfalls and what to avoid. Assuming you still wish to try your hand at show business, let’s discuss the Tiki Hut show in particular.

While I am certain that you possess the ability to tell a cheesy joke (much like your human servant) and this is generally a good skill to have if you wish to participate in a Disney show. Unfortunately, I think you are lacking some of the characteristics for which they will be looking.

While we all may be descended from jungle fowl, we are far removed from them. We are no longer the slim leggy birds that our ancestors were. I believe that there is a leghorn which resides with you. Alas, while she is much closer to the jungle fowl than you or I are, even she is not tropical enough to qualify for their show.

For others who have not seen the Tiki room show at Disney, here is a clip. As you will see, Coco is not really what they need in a performer.

https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/en_CA/attractions/magic-kingdom/enchanted-tiki-room/

However, I do have some good news for you. There is another show at Disney for which you would be a perfect match. That is the Feathered Friends in Flight! show. My human servant returned from Disney not so long ago talking about the chickens in the show. He even shared this picture with us. Apparently, all you must do is run across the stage, jump up on a log, eat some treats and run off. Later, you even get to steal some food and run in and out of a window. I bet you would be great at these tasks. There would be lots of applause and you would be showing thousands of people how smart and clever we chickens really are.

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The Way of the Chicken is to support our more adventuresome members as they blaze their path. Should you choose to walk the dangerous path to show business, I am certain you can count on the support of your tribe. I do know that whatever you do your human servant will love and support you as his reputation is sterling and he is beloved in the chicken community.

As to how you get started, I think you need to get your human servant to create a video showing how clever you are and send it to Disney or to a chicken agent. Once you sign with a chicken agent you can rely on them to get you work. Know that the pathway will likely be hard. You may even need to play Tick-Tack-Toe with some humans before you get your big break and are picked up by Disney.

Here is one quick lesson. Heihei taught me this. In show business they do not say “Good Luck” they say, “Break a Leg”. They do not literally mean to go break your leg. That would be tragic. Yes, it is weird but show business chickens are different. Let me be the first to wish you good fortune by saying, “Break a Leg”.

Aurora
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@featherhead007 I was thinking, if Coco is serious about the Tiki Lounge then she should learn how to belly dance, blanche and I would be happy to give her some pointers,

 

[featherhead007]

@featherhead007 I was thinking, if Coco is serious about the Tiki Lounge then she should learn how to belly dance, blanche and I would be happy to give her some pointers,

It’s Disney we’re talking about (belly dancing isn’t really their style)

 

[featherhead007]

It’s Disney we’re talking about (belly dancing isn’t really their style)

Disney, where you can get fired for burping! Etc.

 

[Ponypoor]

It’s Disney we’re talking about (belly dancing isn’t really their style)

Wasn't Aladdin a Disney movie?! I am sure it was!

 

[BY Bob]

Phyllis is giving you a good reason to get tile...
Unless you got tile already.

This is too funny.

 

[BY Bob]

Nice! Informative & entertaining overview with solid advice. I miss Foghorn Leghorn! Also, did Ginger have “work” done to get teeth, to help advance her career? What some chickens will do…

The exploitative aspect is hard to get over for me….and I couldn’t help thinking of Mike, which is just sad, besides ghastly. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken

So I have mixed feelings, sorry, but wish Coco the best. I would hope that @featherhead007 would be prepared to help manage Coco’s career and look out for her. Beware of agents!

Well said!

 

[featherhead007]

Wasn't Aladdin a Disney movie?! I am sure it was!

And Jaffar got his name from that movie. FYI

 

[BY Bob]

And Jaffar got his name from that movie. FYI

Shocking!

 

[featherhead007]

Shocking!

I didn’t name him that. The previous owners did. He knows his name and I wouldn’t want to change it.