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Redhead Rae said:
Feeling hurt and saddened today.

Someone who my husband and his family have been friends with for about 20 years asked a question on Facebook about the best way to help her adult child do something (what doesn't really matter). Since they asked, I said that it would be best not to do that thing because it was playing with fire and not as important to living daily life as most people believe. A couple of other people jumped on the band wagon and I was responding to them. About the time I was done talking and needed to go to bed (I posted saying so and that I loved them) they responded back that I had no right to question their parenting choices and that my opinion wasn't wanted. It cut to the quick. This isn't the person I knew. It took me a while to fall asleep because I was so upset. I'm still upset as I'm writing this. I tried to show my husband what they wrote but the comment where they came after me was no longer there. My husband privately messaged them about it as nicely as he could. I had him acknowledge that my first response could have been taken to be flippant but it wasn't meant that way. But I saw the response before they deleted it and I can't unsee it. They responded that, yes, they "regretted" that post (but it got a couple of likes before they deleted it🙄) and they equated what happened with asking "What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?" and I just kept responding with all the ways ice cream is bad for them. Also, my responses and the people responding to me were distracting them from the posts REALLY answering their question. They went on and on about how I don't know anything about how they raised their kids and their family situation and an unspecified family crisis that they were having.... Then they thanked my husband for the kindness in the question he asked and blah, blah. No hint of an apology. He hasn't responded yet.

*sigh* When you ask about something on an open forum like your friend list, you open yourself up to such responses as don't do it. Frankly, I view the question they asked with almost as much horror as I think they would if I had posted "What's the best way to teach my kid to handle a gun?" (not exactly the same, but similar amounts of danger in a different area of life, in my opinion). I wasn't questioning their parenting, I was putting another option out there and responding to the fallacies other people were presenting. If it was distracting they could have deleted my original comment, because it is their post, or found a nicer way to tell me to mind my own business. I would have complied. There was no reason to excoriate me, never mind doing it publicly.

I think I need to do some friend list surgery.
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That's sad. People are so thoughtless. After all, they asked for opinions.
 
Redhead Rae said:
Feeling hurt and saddened today.

Someone who my husband and his family have been friends with for about 20 years asked a question on Facebook about the best way to help her adult child do something (what doesn't really matter). Since they asked, I said that it would be best not to do that thing because it was playing with fire and not as important to living daily life as most people believe. A couple of other people jumped on the band wagon and I was responding to them. About the time I was done talking and needed to go to bed (I posted saying so and that I loved them) they responded back that I had no right to question their parenting choices and that my opinion wasn't wanted. It cut to the quick. This isn't the person I knew. It took me a while to fall asleep because I was so upset. I'm still upset as I'm writing this. I tried to show my husband what they wrote but the comment where they came after me was no longer there. My husband privately messaged them about it as nicely as he could. I had him acknowledge that my first response could have been taken to be flippant but it wasn't meant that way. But I saw the response before they deleted it and I can't unsee it. They responded that, yes, they "regretted" that post (but it got a couple of likes before they deleted it🙄) and they equated what happened with asking "What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?" and I just kept responding with all the ways ice cream is bad for them. Also, my responses and the people responding to me were distracting them from the posts REALLY answering their question. They went on and on about how I don't know anything about how they raised their kids and their family situation and an unspecified family crisis that they were having.... Then they thanked my husband for the kindness in the question he asked and blah, blah. No hint of an apology. He hasn't responded yet.

*sigh* When you ask about something on an open forum like your friend list, you open yourself up to such responses as don't do it. Frankly, I view the question they asked with almost as much horror as I think they would if I had posted "What's the best way to teach my kid to handle a gun?" (not exactly the same, but similar amounts of danger in a different area of life, in my opinion). I wasn't questioning their parenting, I was putting another option out there and responding to the fallacies other people were presenting. If it was distracting they could have deleted my original comment, because it is their post, or found a nicer way to tell me to mind my own business. I would have complied. There was no reason to excoriate me, never mind doing it publicly.

I think I need to do some friend list surgery.
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Good morning Rae 😊 have a great Friday

So sorry you had to deal with that 🤗🤗 I'm on Facebook also, but I rarely respond to posts for that reason, people most often don't think before they posts reply ( family or friend ) Try to have a great day 🤗🤗🤗🤗
 
Grammy60 said:
Good morning Rae 😊 have a great Friday

So sorry you had to deal with that 🤗🤗 I'm on Facebook also, but I rarely respond to posts for that reason, people most often don't think before they posts reply ( family or friend ) Try to have a great day 🤗🤗🤗🤗
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I'm doing alright now. Talking about it helps. Although I'm sure I'll get upset again when DH and I talk about how to respond. I had second thoughts about responding to the original post because I've seen this person jump on other people, I've never had their unreasonably exaggerated ire directed at me before.
 
Redhead Rae said:
I'm doing alright now. Talking about it helps. Although I'm sure I'll get upset again when DH and I talk about how to respond. I had second thoughts about responding to the original post because I've seen this person jump on other people, I've never had their unreasonably exaggerated ire directed at me before.
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I agree with talking about it, just don't let it consume you. That still about telling you they're sorry for jumping you 😞 It will be good for you to talk with your DH about, but don't post anything else.
 
Grammy60 said:
I agree with talking about it, just don't let it consume you. That still about telling you they're sorry for jumping you 😞 It will be good for you to talk with your DH about, but don't post anything else.
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I haven't engaged with that post since I said I was going to bed last night. I've even considered deleting my original response.

Being pregnant certainly doesn't help, although this is the first time this pregnancy that something has effected me like this.
 
Redhead Rae said:
I haven't engaged with that post since I said I was going to bed last night. I've even considered deleting my original response.

Being pregnant certainly doesn't help, although this is the first time this pregnancy that something has effected me like this.
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Good, you walked away! You could delete it, but some people will have comments about that as well 🙄

Just don't let it get you upset 🤗🤗 hugs for you. Just take care of yourself and your baby!!
 
Redhead Rae said:
Feeling hurt and saddened today.

Someone who my husband and his family have been friends with for about 20 years asked a question on Facebook about the best way to help her adult child do something (what doesn't really matter). Since they asked, I said that it would be best not to do that thing because it was playing with fire and not as important to living daily life as most people believe. A couple of other people jumped on the band wagon and I was responding to them. About the time I was done talking and needed to go to bed (I posted saying so and that I loved them) they responded back that I had no right to question their parenting choices and that my opinion wasn't wanted. It cut to the quick. This isn't the person I knew. It took me a while to fall asleep because I was so upset. I'm still upset as I'm writing this. I tried to show my husband what they wrote but the comment where they came after me was no longer there. My husband privately messaged them about it as nicely as he could. I had him acknowledge that my first response could have been taken to be flippant but it wasn't meant that way. But I saw the response before they deleted it and I can't unsee it. They responded that, yes, they "regretted" that post (but it got a couple of likes before they deleted it🙄) and they equated what happened with asking "What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?" and I just kept responding with all the ways ice cream is bad for them. Also, my responses and the people responding to me were distracting them from the posts REALLY answering their question. They went on and on about how I don't know anything about how they raised their kids and their family situation and an unspecified family crisis that they were having.... Then they thanked my husband for the kindness in the question he asked and blah, blah. No hint of an apology. He hasn't responded yet.

*sigh* When you ask about something on an open forum like your friend list, you open yourself up to such responses as don't do it. Frankly, I view the question they asked with almost as much horror as I think they would if I had posted "What's the best way to teach my kid to handle a gun?" (not exactly the same, but similar amounts of danger in a different area of life, in my opinion). I wasn't questioning their parenting, I was putting another option out there and responding to the fallacies other people were presenting. If it was distracting they could have deleted my original comment, because it is their post, or found a nicer way to tell me to mind my own business. I would have complied. There was no reason to excoriate me, never mind doing it publicly.

I think I need to do some friend list surgery.
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Aww dang Rae! :hugs

I am sorry and understand how that can really sting.

Redhead Rae said:
I'm doing alright now. Talking about it helps. Although I'm sure I'll get upset again when DH and I talk about how to respond. I had second thoughts about responding to the original post because I've seen this person jump on other people, I've never had their unreasonably exaggerated ire directed at me before.
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Talking about it releases some of the stress/frustration and gets you some relief.

I am with Sue on this.....best to talk to your hubs and not respond to that set of posts again.

While there will certainly be opinions.....well sometimes it is best to just let others have theirs and the chips fall where they may as long as they fall elsewhere.
 
21hens-incharge said:
While there will certainly be opinions.....well sometimes it is best to just let others have theirs and the chips fall where they may as long as they fall elsewhere.
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Yup, I said my piece and they rejected it. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Oh get this, they did say something in the response to my husband about enjoying watching our family grow on FB. Part of me is feeling like, yeah, well maybe now you won't.
 

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