Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[rural mouse]

@RoyalChick thank you! It's good to be back!


@rural mouse Thank you! I'm always happy to return to this thread during my down time and to see familiar faces (or usernames) on here. The mama bird, Chickadee, stopped coming by at the end of February She was my constant for a little under 2 years. I miss her every. single. day.

Chickadee
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She was a darling!

 

[featherhead007]

We're layering up, minimizing time outside, keeping travel stuff handy, and making stews. Birds are all hunkering down and snuggling together. Only critters moving outside are the magpies.

Kinda cold here too. All the birds are under the porch (warm under there)

 

[knoturavggrl]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from Jaffar!
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Jaffar Asks,

I’m a good rooster but I need some Wednesday advice from the expert. My hens won’t listen to me, when I call them to come under the porch, where it’s warm.

Coco-Rico! what’s a rooster to do? “



Dear Jaffar,

First let me say, I love your name. Your owner truly expects a lot from you to give you such a name. Great character and having a parrot as a pet, marvelous. I have always wanted a parrot for a pet. Just Imagine….

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But I digress, on to the issue at hand.

Like all roosters you seem to think we hens are dense. Right, it is warmer under the porch. I bet the hens in the tribe have all heard that line before. They come for warmth and then you surprise them with unwanted “affection”. Just like all those times you told them you had food for them and it was a piece of stick. Just to get them closer so you could have your way with them. They are on to you and good for them.

The problem with you roosters is that you are always so whiny. Please girls come over here. Please girls don’t fight. Stop picking on the young ladies. Uck! Gag me.

Let me teach you one thing. If you learn this you will be so much less frustrated than every other rooster on the planet.

YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE

You are here to serve and protect us hens. Period. If you do what you are asked, come when called, and are always willing to die for our safety then you are doing your job well. Stick to those things. Don’t try and tell us what to do.

If we need a safe place to lay an egg. Find us one. In fact, find us several. We will inspect them until we find one that is satisfactory. You clowns can never get it right the first time.

If we have laid an egg and call out for an escort, you come running and escort us to the rest of tribe. Even if we can see everyone from where we laid the egg. You come running right away. Do NOT make us wait.

If we need you to watch the kids so we can have an afternoon out with the girls or for crying out loud just take a bath in peace without one of them jumping on our back or getting into trouble. You watch the kids. You wanted them after all.

And if you are offering a food to us, offer food. NO, A BLADE OF GRASS OR A LEAF IS NOT SOME SUPER TREAT WORTH CALLING US TO COME EAT! You better have a bug or a big juicy worm or something similar. Trust me, we will just start to ignore you if you don’t have something truly good EVERY TIME. Try to remember the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”. If you don’t know it, get your human to tell it to you.

Acceptable phrases for you to say are,

• Yes Mam
• No Mam
• Thank you, Mam
• I’m sorry Mam. I’ll do better next time

One more thing……..

Please stop begging. It is demeaning to watch. And that silly wing thing you try to do. No one is falling for that old line. We will let you know when you can hop on for a quick ride. Don’t you ever jump someone who said no or is unprepared. It is a waste of time as we will just spit your stuff back out anyway. We will let you know when the time is right.

In summary remember this. The top hen leads the tribe. You do as she tells you, treat the hens under her charge with respect, stop trying to tell everyone what to do, and you will have an enjoyable life. Keep trying to tell the hens what to do and you will lead a sad frustrating life. We just don’t care what you think.

We all know you really only want one thing.

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OMG I laughed so hard my side hurts a bit! Wonderful writing!

I swear this is one of the best ones yet. I need to show this to Branch, Bubba and Twig.

I read it to Oreo and while the young ladies nearby seemed to agree wholeheartedly and may have found their first role model, he just looked confused. Kinda had a look like I have to do this for ALL 10 of the girls. Poor boy wandered off to contemplate all the future work he is in for. You will have to let us know how your boys take the advice

 

[ValarieF]

Get yourself a silkie or two. Trust me it will be the best thing you ever do. If you can get past their looks, which I now love, their personalities will win you over.

I need a couple of silkies

 

[featherhead007]

I need a couple of silkies

Feather dusters and mops at Walmart are $2 - $10 bucks

 

[featherhead007]

OMG I laughed so hard my side hurts a bit! Wonderful writing!

I read it to Oreo and while the young ladies nearby seemed to agree wholeheartedly and may have found their first role model, he just looked confused. Kinda had a look like I have to do this for ALL 10 of the girls. Poor boy wandered off to contemplate all the future work he is in for. You will have to let us know how your boys take the advice
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The roosters have been de masculinized !

 

[featherhead007]

Feather dusters and mops at Walmart are $2 - $10 bucks

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

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Silkies are more then a feather duster, just saying. You need to come over to the dark side as well and get a silkie.

 

[knoturavggrl]

Straw!!!

I found it I finally found it Ever since it started hinting at winter weather I have been searching for straw. To help insulate and also to mix in for my deep litter, I have heard having a mix of biodegradable material is ideal.

Well, there was none to found anywhere. I looked high and low. Finally found it yesterday at tractor supply in compressed bales.

Today I took the kids out threw some Saturday Lime down on the current layer and put two bales down. The kids had a field day spreading it around coop and watching it decompress. I’ll be picking straw off them for the rest of the day but the chickens should be better insulated against the single digit temperatures that are coming.

Straw tax:

 

[featherhead007]

Straw!!!

I found it I finally found it Ever since it started hinting at winter weather I have been searching for straw. To help insulate and also to mix in for my deep litter, I have heard having a mix of biodegradable material is ideal.

Well, there was none to found anywhere. I looked high and low. Finally found it yesterday at tractor supply in compressed bales.

Today I took the kids out threw some Saturday Lime down on the current layer and put two bales down. The kids had a field day spreading it around coop and watching it decompress. I’ll be picking straw off them for the rest of the day but the chickens should be better insulated against the single digit temperatures that are coming.

Straw tax:
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Straw at Tractor Supply go figure.