Well said. What if's don't mean the outcome we want would have happened. It makes you not deal with the present. I've agonized about Queenie's death and my part in it, the way it played out. But maybe it could have unfolded in some other way, and still ended with her death. What if's can help you to see that, maybe the only good thing about them. But nothing can change what has actually happened. So you all here have been greatly comforting, thank you. And you all have helped me to remember the phrase "start where you are." Taking each day as it comes, and taking joy in the present and present company. Love the chickens who are still here with us!
Your beautiful dog (all Golden's are beautiful imo!) has had a good life with you, for sure, and fifteen years is long for a Golden. But knowing that doesn't make losing her less hard, I'm sorry about that. Hugs for you and her!