Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[RebeccaBoyd]

I went outside, this is the first thing I found. NO NO NO NO. Until dark the coop is now closed. Crazy hens. Excuse the poop in the coop, after I took the video and kicked her out I cleaned it out real quick.

Miss personality is so NOT happy with me at the moment.

 

[rural mouse]

I went outside, this is the first thing I found. NO NO NO NO. Until dark the coop is now closed. Crazy hens. Excuse the poop in the coop, after I took the video and kicked her out I cleaned it out real quick.

Miss personality is so NOT happy with me at the moment.
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Momma gets them! Why can't I?!

 

[TX Chick Noob]

Ask Aurora

This week's question comes from Muffless in Massachusetts.
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She asks........

Dear Aurora,

You have such legendary beard and muffs. How do I get them? People say ‘drink coffee, it puts hair on your chest”. Is there something I can eat or drink to grow myself a stylish beard & muffs?

Signed,

Muffless in Massachusetts



Dear Muffless,

You are of course correct. I have splendid beard and muffs. I have spent a lot of time growing and grooming them to be the truly spectacular display you see today.

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How can you grow them if you don’t already have them is quite a conundrum. But of course, I understand why you want such luscious facial feathers. What is a chicken that is not blessed with superior genetics like me to do? Time for some research. I grabbed my trusty bearded sidekick and we set off to solve the mystery.

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We asked every chicken we could find, performed exhaustive research on both Beakbook and the internet. These are all the things we could find that will supposedly put “Feathers on your Face”.

• Black Coffee
• Tabasco Sauce (or Anything Spicy)
• Bread Crust
• Hard Work Scratching and Digging
• Wheaties
• Whisky
• Spinach
• Horseradish Sauce
• Worcestershire Sauce
• Buttermilk
• Responsibility

There seem to be 2 categories of ways to get “Feathers on your Face”, eating certain foods and Working Hard. First, let’s look at all of those things you can eat to achieve a thick gorgeous set of facial feathers. We can rule out some of these immediately:

• Bread Crust
• Spinach
• Wheaties

All of these have been consumed here by many birds including hundreds of songbirds. Have you ever seen a songbird with muffs and/or a beard? Crazy. This is just patently false. Busted!

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• Black Coffee
• Whisky

These two are just flat out dangerous. These myths are put out there by chickens trying to get revenge on other chickens without being hen enough to do it themselves. Both of these will kill you if consumed in any quantity. Dare we call them busted? I say so, Busted!

• Tabasco Sauce (or Anything Spicy)
• Horseradish Sauce
• Worcestershire Sauce
• Buttermilk

These are your bitter and spicey foods. I can honestly say that Betty and I love spicey food. There may actually be something to these. Of course, Sydney also eats spicey foods and she has a clean face but maybe it just doesn’t work for everyone. These may be worth giving a try.


That leaves the activity-based means of growing facial feathers. Let’s address them individually.

• Hard Work Scratching and Digging

There is one hen here who never stops moving. She is always scratching and digging. To be frank, I find her exhausting. She is even difficult to peck when needed as she moves so much. That hen is Glynda. If scratching and digging was going to grow facial feathers, Glynda would have a beard down to her knees. She definitely does not. I call this busted!

What would Glynda look like if this were true?

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Our final way to grow facial feathers

• Responsibility

I’m pretty certain this one is busted as well. I have heard of no hen who carried more weight and responsibility than the queen who was before me, Queen Lilly. Her reign was peaceful and just. Even when injured and it was hard for her to move, she still made certain we were all protected as best she could. She oversaw multiple successful tribe expansions. Yet she never grew a beard. This photo alone says Busted!

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So, my best available advice is to eat as much spicey food as possible. You will need your human’s support as it is hard to find spicey plants. Perhaps one of your roosters might know where some are. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen for you. Not everyone can be blessed with beautiful facial feathers. That does not mean you are less of a chicken. Every chicken has value and purpose no matter what they look like………..

except maybe for Phyllis…………

Although I guess her purpose could be to just annoy the crap out of me.

Yours,
Aurora

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Someone needs to remind Aurora that her beard was not always so clean and well groomed.

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Momma gets them! Why can't I?!

Momma gets them because I cannot get to her to break her up.
These should give you a idea of how steep the hillside is.

Head on view not zoomed in. I'm standing at the edge of the yard.

I swear she is gloating in this picture.

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Bubba is breaking my heart. I have several frostbite victims but none are as bad as Bubba. It has affected both his comb and wattles. He is acting fine, but I am going to crush up a chewable asprin and give him a small dose for a few days because that has got to hurt. I have never had frostbite on wattles before. I fear this gorgeous boy is going to loose every point on his comb.

 

[BY Bob]

Oreo possible frostbite pictures:
It does look considerably smaller today so some of it was indeed dirt. This is what it looks like this morning.View attachment 3360412View attachment 3360413

That looks like a bite to me. The top photo is even beak shaped. I would suspect a rooster fight before I did frostbite. Frostbite starts at the tips, not the base and is not generally beak shaped.

 

[BY Bob]

Bubba is breaking my heart. I have several frostbite victims but none are as bad as Bubba. It has affected both his comb and wattles. He is acting fine, but I am going to crush up a chewable asprin and give him a small dose for a few days because that has got to hurt. I have never had frostbite on wattles before. I fear this gorgeous boy is going to loose every point on his comb.
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He may not lose all his points. Frost bite does not always result in the points dropping off. Those wattles are tough looking though. Keep a good eye on them but do not touch.

 

[BY Bob]

Momma gets them because I cannot get to her to break her up.
These should give you a idea of how steep the hillside is.
View attachment 3360531View attachment 3360532
Head on view not zoomed in. I'm standing at the edge of the yard.
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I swear she is gloating in this picture.
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She is one resourceful hen for sure. Wow!

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

The rest of the frostbite victims. To say I feel terrible would be a understatement.

Corona

My poor Lilly

Squirrel

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Now for some happy pictures.
Goose showing off her good looks. She wants everyone to ooh and aww over her beard.

Twig looking even more handsome.

Karen

and of course my boy