Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[BY Bob]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

 

[BY Bob]

You could think about setting up the brooder plate as a nice warm wall for her to snuggle next to, wherever she is. Or if it's got low enough settings, a foundation to sleep on. If she's old- and cold-feeling she may want the warmth she would get if she could get up on the roost.

You are so clever. I love this idea.

 

[ValarieF]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

OMG thats the funniest! I'm dying with tears in my eyes. Im laughing so hard I had to explain the whole series to my hubby lol.

 

[BY Bob]

OMG thats the funniest! I'm dying with tears in my eyes. Im laughing so hard I had to explain the whole series to my hubby lol.

I'm so glad you liked it.

 

[BY Bob]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

How did I do @RebeccaBoyd

 

[rural mouse]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

Aurora, you are absolutely correct!!!!!

 

[BY Bob]

This looks really nice, great job!
I am not familiar with metal roofing and my only slight concern is that top edge, to keep an eye on the expansion or contraction it does with changes in temps and how well the caulking keeps a good seal between the roofing and the quarter-round. Seems the attachment screws right there ought to keep it from moving much at all though!
Does it have to be painted? It comes across as light blue in the pictures and looks pretty nice!

It does not have to be painted but will last longer if it is. Is actually galvanized steel in color. Perhaps blue should be on our selection of colors for when we do paint it.

 

[BY Bob]

That's worth having Aurora skip a week. She was supervising the process, right?

She supervises everything!

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

I love this and it is perfect. I do have to say for at least another 2 weeks Momma hen is very busy and cannot ease up her guard for even a moment to help mentor future mothers to be. That is ok though, she mentioned something along the lines of Mr. Perfectly balanced has silkies in his flock, he should have no trouble being a real chicken. She also said he needs to tell his ladies it is time to get back online and start laying, there can be no chicks if the girls are not doing their part as well. If he needs more help Broken Chiquita will offer pep talks to the girls, she is trying to do her part in "The Way of The Chicken" even though her servant has removed the eggs and tosses her out of the nest multiple times a day. It is not working, she even tried to steal one of Momma's chicks which did not end up pretty. Feather's flew from both girls and Branch had to break it up. Momma also said to remember, Marty is your best choice, she is small, black and a silkie. She can hide very easily in many dark secluded locations. For best results and confusion talk Curly into pretending to be broody at the same time in a obvious location so no one notices what Marty is up to. Momma Hens final decree before tucking her brood in for the night. Every hen whether they have a boy or not in their flock should attempt to do their part at least once if not more times a year in this very vital role of "The Way of a Chicken."

 

[BY Bob]

Tubing is not fun for bird or her caregiver

He speaks truth.