Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[bgmathteach]

Dear Aurora;

Last week I bowed down to your awesomeness, but this week, I am a wee bit perturbed that my Overseer (who is definitely a chicken, a true rooster) would contact you regarding his fathering offspring.

Is it truly The Way of the Chicken to want to double a flock in size in such a short time? I would think that you would want to prevent any possibility of someone overthrowing one's throne... And while I am sure my other Overseers would have no problem with following your wishes, I can't think that they have thought it through if there was competition for the Head Overseer - in this case Queen Penelope.

Maybe I should have a quiet word with HRH regarding this, you know, to get her opinion on this. She who herself has never had any inclination to Motherhood - only Leadership.

Penelope may have to have a word with you, regarding The Way of the Chicken in this case.

Yours affectionately;

The Human
----------------

Queen Penelope
View attachment 3379339

I don't know, @Ponypoor , Penelope looks stern enough to keep a very large flock in order!

 

[ChicoryBlue]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

Another great one from The Queen!
Has she been keeping tabs on everyone through BeakBook? The Queen Knows All!
Loved this.

 

[BY Bob]

Another great one from The Queen!
Has she been keeping tabs on everyone through BeakBook? The Queen Knows All!
Loved this.

A lot of info is exchanged on Beakbook.

 

[ChicoryBlue]

I thought they might stand there and groom. Mine use the porch to do that.

I would love that. It doesn't oversee the run or yard like yours does. But it may come as they get used to it, this part in summer has inclement weather protection on the sides, I keep the tarp ready to lower on one side or the other, better than the bigger run (though now with the roof the big run should be improved). Today they gathered under it and behind the ladder when a crow giving a stern warning call got close.

 

[ValarieF]

Bob, I just LOVE these Ask Aurora posts! I find myself with a goofy grin smeared across my face every time I read them. Maybe someday you should compile them into a book?

And call the book "The Way of the Chicken" lol

 

[featherhead007]

A lot of info is exchanged on Beakbook.

Very true:

 

[ValarieF]

Hmmm, seems kind of like 'Gibbs' and rule 99, etc........we are slowly learning the rules of 'The Way of The Chicken'

I love NCIS's

 

[ValarieF]

Very true:View attachment 3379387

The chooks are talking about us again.

 

[fuentemoon]

Alinta says hello

Our weather has been icky lately, lots of heavy rain and wind. Really hoping the next few dry days forecasted are real, so do my chickens!

We finally named the "kitten" who is huge now. Guessing she is 8 months old. Meet Katniss, she loves to play and wrestle her big brother like a puppy.

 

[featherhead007]

The chooks are talking about us again.

They never stop talking about us.