I have been informed that I am now a union establishment.
UFC - TSG, Local 13. (United Federated Chickens, Tree Sitters Guild)
These are their demands:
Apprentices - since they are in training and not actually performing a service, in addition to feed and shelter, one meal worm or sunflower seed per day per apprentice, with an extra one here and there when they have shown exceptional progress. (note, the apprentices are not happy with this!)
The apprentices:
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Jouneymen: These are chickens that have earned their tree-sitting status, but are only allowed to 'tree sit' shrubs and/or smaller trees. They are to get 3 meal worms or sunflower seeds per day, with extra(double) for weekend, holiday, and overtime work (double pay!)
The Journeymen:
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Master Tree Sitters: These are chickens that have both full-status as tree sitters, and seniority! 6 mealworms or sunflower seeds per day, double on weekends and holidays and for overtime.
The "Masters":
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My response and then counter:
1) There are sufficient numbers of you that you can rotate shifts - there is no need for overtime except in dire emergency situations.
2) Weekend rates are never 'double' pay in services/industries were 7 day work weeks are involved!
3) At that rate of recompense, you will all be too fat to get into the tree to tree sit and will hence be unemployed.
Apprentice pay: agreed to your demands.
Journeyman pay: 2 meal worms of sunflower seeds per Journeyman per day. No overtime. Holiday or weekend shifts get a shift stipend of 1 extra meal worm or sunflower seed per journeyman per day.
Masters pay:
3 mealworms or sunflower seeds per Master per day. Holiday or weekend shifts get a shift stipend of 1 extra meal worm or sunflower seed per Master per day.
Lets hope they accept my counter offer.
Otherwise, they may leave and try to unionize YOUR flock! They know I'm on FBA
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They will get too fat to get in the tree and will lose their jobs!


Nice try on the negotiating front @bgmathteach - my last union negotiation was with Maggie about working at weekends.
I lost on all points.