Oh I know! I thought about you many,many times as it was happening.
And google is NOT reassuring reading for some things!

No kidding! Losing these birds is just as awful as losing a cat or dog, they're family.:)
Awe. You could have reached out. I will give my number out to Squwatchers! I know my first cull I put the SOS out for a real voice to hear.
Poor Cappy was the first to respond and got to hear me blubbering then doing that weird "I've lost my mind" laugh. Sometimes an ear is needed.
 
I know Nunny, i'm just weird about handling some kinds of grief and chaos.
I isolate and eat when pets get sick mope a little bit turn into a mega hermit.
It is freaky because I take one dumb part of my training into pet loss.
I can't concentrate on much else until my "patient" is at peace.
I had a long wait with her, she ate, pooped and was in good spirits until the end just that right side got stiffer and stiffer.
I couldn't cull her even though that leg was frozen in place so I just kept her comfy, tried everything and just waited.
I'm pretty much broken when it comes to certain lines of seperation, i'll fully admit that.
Thank you though, i'd rather talk to my squatchy buds about happy things i'm not a good FUBAR conversationalist at all.:)
Awe. You could have reached out. I will give my number out to Squwatchers! I know my first cull I put the SOS out for a real voice to hear.
Poor Cappy was the first to respond and got to hear me blubbering then doing that weird "I've lost my mind" laugh. Sometimes an ear is needed.

Happy picture, my coop Queen and King.:)
Never thought i'd see it, but there they are.
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I used to get like that too Chickassan, back when I raised dogs. If I lost a puppy for any reason, I punished myself by staying in my room. Way back before my father passed away at 90(in nursing home) he always blamed me for anything that went wrong. My mom never stood up to him, or he would have blamed her too.
 
It isn't so much punishment on my end it is like my wires get crossed.
I'm ok with death, even people that are very close.
I get sad, upset sometimes angry even but I can't show that.
At the end of it I have to shake it off usually with a banana milkshake from sonic.
Yeah, that is my "professional" mental cleansing and i'm aware alot of people would consider that monstrous.
With pets though i'm a mess, I don't know what it is I can still perform all the necessary tasks but no amount of sonic shakes can clear that sad funk.
I actually weep over pets, even a fish.
Like I said, just skewed now but I guess it could be worse.:)
I used to get like that too Chickassan, back when I raised dogs. If I lost a puppy for any reason, I punished myself by staying in my room. Way back before my father passed away at 90(in nursing home) he always blamed me for anything that went wrong. My mom never stood up to him, or he would have blamed her too.
 
Im oblivious not kidding. Beavis is almost a year old and just today I noticed one of her freak toes is upside down.
Not like trauma based upside down, like she came that way upside down.
Keep in mind iv'e trimmed these and just wrote that toenail growning down to her mom's bad nails.
Nope, that bad boy is upside down.....:hmm
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This is her feet, toe on right is normal nail is on underside. Toe on the left nail is on top, nail grows down like a cat claw.
She's young here, she came that way omg duhhhh me.:gig
 
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It isn't so much punishment on my end it is like my wires get crossed.
I'm ok with death, even people that are very close.
I get sad, upset sometimes angry even but I can't show that.
At the end of it I have to shake it off usually with a banana milkshake from sonic.
Yeah, that is my "professional" mental cleansing and i'm aware alot of people would consider that monstrous.
With pets though i'm a mess, I don't know what it is I can still perform all the necessary tasks but no amount of sonic shakes can clear that sad funk.
I actually weep over pets, even a fish.
Like I said, just skewed now but I guess it could be worse.:)

I get it. I am "off" like that too.
I weep for the pets. Ok that's not quite correct.
I bawl my eyes out over the pets. We are talking flat out swollen eyes snot running bawl.
 
Awe. You could have reached out. I will give my number out to Squwatchers! I know my first cull I put the SOS out for a real voice to hear.
Poor Cappy was the first to respond and got to hear me blubbering then doing that weird "I've lost my mind" laugh. Sometimes an ear is needed.
Always happy to lend an ear!
 
Well I can assure you it's not weird. Blubbering snotty mess over the pets. I'm sad for people don't get me wrong but I can cry about it and move on. The pets not so much. I can't wrap my head around such a senseless loss.

The freak toes are the only thing about the derps I'm worried about. They kind of give me the creeps. LOL I know its irrational and I'll love them all the same but .....
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