Official Squatch Watchers

[FlyingNunFarm]

Honestly Apryl, I am so bad at remembering dates. I think he took sick about a little over a month ago (I have to go back and check my posts) and he was prolly doing the deed right up till the weekend I noticed he stopped crowing.

(GOD I miss that Cemani crow. Sometimes I do it to myself "rr-rrr-RRRR-rr!!!" just to hear something like it, and sometimes I still expect to hear it when I go out to the coop. Silly, I know. But he would always crow when he was happy to see me, and I miss that terribly.)

I'm not gonna start a thread, but if you guys are interested, I will give daily updates here! Truly, I don't really expect any to be viable, but I have the eggs. And I just have to know. And if I got any of his babies, why that would be just wonderful, like a part of him would live on!

When CC died I felt really bad I didn't have eggs of hers. She had crooked toes and a downturned tail so I had purposely not hatched her eggs at first. I always thought it was from being malpo but wasn't sure. I was going to test that theory next hatch.

Ah, but I *am* a success story, DD!

I've lived with it for most of my life, and am still here (as the Pearl Jam lyrics go: Hey, hey, I, oh, I'm still alive. And that, quite simply, is the truth.)

25+ years of meds, therapy on/off, great self-awareness, support groups, a million self-help books, treatment in a partial-crazyhouse (and subsequent graduation from same) and--for the most part--an impressive resume and career, at least on paper. Hell, I was even featured on the cover of a veterinary journal once for a short story that I wrote (of course, it was a dirty one about a dog penis, and to this day I still can't believe that is my claim to fame, ha).

I am managed well with meds, and the skills I have acquired throughout the years. If
I ever feel myself slipping, I get the help I need. I know how to take care of myself.

I just have this propensity to be lazy and a layabout, and when I don't have the structure of a full-time job keeping me on track, I waste huge amounts of time, feel guilty about it, and then get a bit more in a hole. I have been this way ever since I was a kid. Summer vacation would be great for a couple weeks, and then....I would start to get in trouble.

I am going to put myself on a daily schedule, write one out, as stupid as that sounds, until I can get steady work again.

It took me years to accept that "I'm sick" I didn't want to take meds and be a crazy person. But a fantastic psychologist helped me. She said things about mental illness that I think I always knew but couldn't admit. (If that makes sense) I know the warning signs and can regulate myself fairly well. Learning to say "no" as to not stretch myself to thin is still hard. I want to do everything I can for people. But if I'm a wreck I'm no help at all.

View attachment 1527810

Here you go, DD. (Don't hate on the awful haircut and huge bags under the eyes, I was finishing my ortho rotation in vet school, and was very sleep deprived and unstylish.)

See? Success story. At least I was, at one point in time.

Eh, still a success story, cuz I'm still alive and here to annoy you all...!

The hair tells me this was early 90s

Really? How old do you think those eggs were? That's awesome!

Now I really wish I didn't scramble up those older eggs and feed them to the chooks....I hope at least one of them is viable and I get one roo boy!

Tomorrow they go in the bator....

You WANT a rooster. LOL That almost never happens.

 

[rjohns39]

Morning all

chicky

21 so happy for sable.

 

[21hens-incharge]

Me too RJ!!!

I been out in the garden pulling done plants and gathering the eatables.
Why in Gods name do zucchini go from 5" long to club someone over the head size in 3 days??

I found 4 of those.

Got a decent handful of green beans and about 100 carrots.
Nantes half long did the best for me.
I also picked the last of the corn and cleared the rows.
Cantaloupe is still not quite ready. Huge but still green.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

 

[pitbullmomma]

You'll find a job. I am sure of it. It stinks getting turned down.

I need to get back to working myself. I do not like interviewing at all. Talk about anxiety inducing events. .

I know!! It is so stressful to me, the worst part of the whole process by far.

I hate putting on a suit, trying to give the right answers, and be myself, while trying to not be too much of myself. It's exhausting. I think I have been trying too hard, and perhaps I am coming across too strong. Or too desperate. I don't know.

What is your line of work?

Soooo my schedule.....

I despise housework so I figure how long it should take and stick a few chores in each day for the week.
For example my small bathroom should take 20 minutes to fully clean. I set timers too so I know when I should be done.
Mondays is always
Bathroom, full clean on the kitchen and laundry.
Tuesdays is living room and cat boxes.
It goes on from there.

I write it out so that I am feeling pushed to get it done.
I make it so I have some me time in the afternoon if I get the chores done.
I start the chores right after hubby heads for work so I don't procrastinate the day away.
I am horrible about putting things off.
I have to treat it like a job to force a schedule and some semblance of structure.

When I get derailed it is very hard to get back on track. Like debilitating to me.

I am a mega loner, I don't like interruption in the day. All it takes to throw me is one phone call or one person knocking on the door and I feel like everything is wrecked for the day.

Hubby derails me often.


The folks on here are pretty much the only social interaction I have.......maybe because I can choose when
..... .

This is a brilliant post, Henny, and I really appreciate taking the time to write it!!!! It is just exactly what I was wondering.

You sound like you could be my twin sister I am not kidding. I also despise housework, and try to avoid it at all costs! My hubby is a clean freak, and he likes cleaning, so he does most of it. This didn't bother me when I was woking fulltime, but now I feel like a total slacker.

I was really thinking of writing out a formal schedule (as silly as that sounds to most people!) and before you mentioned it, was also thinking of trying a timer. I think now I am definitely going to do this.

Like you, I am a procrastinator. The worst. And I also get sidetracked by a million things, I'm pretty sure I have some kind of adult ADD!! I get distracted by anything and everything, and distract myself. Then I wind up spending tons of time online, and doing little else.

This was really hepful to read. Thank you so much!!!!!!

 

[CapricornFarm]

I think we are all closely related!

 

[pitbullmomma]

Age is likely a factor. Experience too since the thought might be that you are over qualified and will not stay long.

The workshop will give you tips on overcoming stuff like that

Possibly, yeah! I really think I am coming on too strong, and need to tone it down a bit. Also--if I am being totally honest--I usually only stay at a job around two years or so before I move on. The longest I ever stayed in one place was n the mid-90's , for 6 years. It makes for a lengthy resume!!! 2 pages, and that is with major trimming, revising and shrinking the font. THat may be scaring people off too.

 

[pitbullmomma]

You can't just decide not to be depressed. When your brain doesn't get the right chemicals you just don't feel right. I have been fighting it since the 80's. Wish it would go away but unlikely. But i can maintain sanity mostly by staying on my meds.

This is very true, Cappy....spot on.

What a lot of people who aren't familiar with depression (and anxiety, as well, and probably most mental illnesses) understand, is that these diseases are neurochemical in origin. Meaning--like you said--your brain chemistry is wonky. Hence, medication is the primary treatment.

It's like telling a diabetic to decide not to be diabetic. Or control it with just behavior therapy. You need insulin. Period.

When you are depressed, your brain chemistry needs meds to fix it. Yes, talk therapy and behavior therapy and affirmations and all that other stuff can be very helpful. For some people, that alone works.

I know people (who aren't depressed) don't get it. If I had a dollar for every time someone said something unhelpful like "Just snap out of it" or "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" (something my mother used to say, before she fell prey to the depression that eventually contributed to ending her life) I would be a rich woman.

Thing is, it doesn't work that way, unfortunately. And there is also the genetic component. That is scientifically proven. So, if you got the cray-cray in your family tree, you or the next generation is likely to get smacked in the head with one of those crazy branches. Fact.

I am just telling it like it is. No sugar coating, so sympathy wanted or needed. If it weren't for meds, I probably wouldn't be here. That goes for a lot of people in this world and probably on this board. That's the facts, that's chemical, and I accepted it and made peace with it a long time ago because I like being alive. I liken it to taking a vitamin every morning to keep me healthy. Good old Vitamin P, and thank the gods for it....!

 

[pitbullmomma]

I think we are all closely related!

Oh yeah, that is very true. So many of us are so similar on this board, it's nuts!

 

[pitbullmomma]

Some were more than a month, but remember I ended up with a half dozen stinkers before the hatch was finished. Don't set anything that doesn't have a yellow yolk.

As for the interview conversation, I'm probably the last guy to offer advice. I had a couple sessions with a resume/interview coach that works for a friend of mine, they quit when she wanted $500 to continue. That said, there are state and college sponsored classes that are really good at getting you ready for the current hiring generation.

What I ran into here was (what the locals call the 3 year rule)... People who come from big "High Paid" areas wont stay, unless they've been away for at least 3 years. The reason I shouldn't offer interview advice is that I don't think I've ever successfully interviewed for a job. I look back at my career and discovered that the hire decision for virtually every job I've had since the military was made before I ever walked through the door.

RJ, you're kidding about the yolk, right? I'm sure I'll get some stinkers. I figure I won't go past a week if I don't see anything going on. Hopefully they won't stink too bad, lol.

What you said below...I believe that.

What do they say, people make their first impression of you within like ten or 30 seconds after they meet you? Also, in the field I am in, they usually have someone picked for the job by the time the interview is scheduled, and they are just going through the motions because they have to (post the job, and interview people, although they already have a candidate picked out).

 

[21hens-incharge]

You're welcome PBM.

I think the easily sidetracked is from to many years multitasking.

My profession is in manufacturing. Electromechanical manufacturing to be precise.
I can hand solder surface mount parts on pc boards with great precision and put together equipment that weighs hundreds of pounds just as easily.
I have always ended up as a "lead", "trainer", substitute supervisor, repair specialist etc.
It makes for days of constant interruptions.
Most days the floor would sound like a herd of barking Chihuahuas. "Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb." ALL TATERING DAY LONG!

It also makes me far to qualified for most jobs I would rather do. Being 50 makes it harder still.

I want a job that I can leave at work not wake in the night with my mind racing. Oh and a job that is not so dirty and gross that I can do quilting without ruining the fabric due to ground in grease in my calluses.