Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[RebeccaBoyd]

Ask Aurora

Today's question comes from @RebeccaBoyd chicken "A disgraced and tired monarch".

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She writes......

Dear Aurora,

How does a reigning queen recover from being utterly humiliated in front of her entire kingdom, horses included by her human servant. I am molting now and therefore am entitled to be grouchy. I get no peace at night and constantly have to peck everyone who thinks it is wise to try to snuggle up close to me. I NEED my space right now. Tonight I desperately wanted a good night sleep so I chose to sleep in the hay pile. I worked so hard to arrange every piece of hay to hide all but my comb. Imagine my horror a few hours later when my human stumbled upon me while throwing down hay to feed the horses. I do not care what she said, I did not almost get crushed by a tossed hay bale, it missed me by inches. I also do not think I deserved to then be forcefully removed from my bed and carried in front of everyone loudly protesting only to be unceremoniously plopped down on the roost in the chicken coop and locked in. That coop is for the silkies and mothers with babies. Now I have to listen to non-stop chatter of the little pip-squeaks and their mothers until morning. If I wanted to hear children peeping I would hatch some myself. I just wanted a good nights sleep.

Yours sincerely,

A disgraced and tired monarch.


Dear A disgraced and tired monarch,

Human servants can be so frustrating. I am constantly being asked questions about “Why do they do this?” “Why do they do that?”. Invariably the indignity done to you happens to every chicken at some point in their lives. What is to be done about it?

Sadly as hard as we work to train our human servants some of them will never reach the status of the truly enlightened ones. Ones who respect our ways and visit as little physical indignity as possible. Of course, we want to be rescued from some location where we were trapped or god forbid the super dangerous pools of water that sometimes populate their yards. I don’t understand their obsession with jumping in water and splashing around. You would think they were imbeciles splashing around like a bunch of brainless ducks. Nonetheless, If that goofy Phyllis falls in the pool again (it would be at least the 4th time, my gosh she is dense) I am sure she will want our human servant to pull her out and dry her off. But that should be the absolute limit of any contact. If Glynda wants to jump up on the human’s lap and talk to him in order to make a point, more power to her. But don’t dare try to pick her up and hold her.

I’d like to say our human servant knows this and really most of the time he is pretty good. However, lately for some reason, who knows why, he has taken to picking Hattie up and moving her to where the rest of us are in the yard. I don’t know why he is doing this. It is very vexing to both me and Hattie.

I have worked very hard to get Hattie to understand that it is best she sticks around her house. In fact, I just spent more than 20 minutes trying to convince her that it is in her interest to sleep in her house and not in my coop. It was exhausting chasing her out onto the porch only to have her come back in. It feels like I have been running in circles for days and now I must sleep in a nest box because it is too dark to roost. Why won’t she just take the hint?

So everyone is mad, me because Hattie is with us again and Hattie because he picked her up and moved her about the yard like she was some kind of stupid garden gnome.

I’ll tell you what, last time he picked Hattie up I was so mad I sent Lady Featherington after him. She was going to peck him hard if he had not moved quickly.

Sometimes I really wish I had a newspaper………

And that leads me back to your problem. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do. The humans are bigger than us and sometimes they are quite dense, like yours. Try to train them as best you can but sooner or later they are going to pick you up. What you need to do is make them pay a price for picking you up.

You can do that immediately by pecking them hard and often. They do not realize how much a peck can hurt until you show them. You never know they might be startled and drop you. Look for a piece of their skin that is visible, peck it hard, and be ready to flap as soon as you peck so you can land gracefully. If pecking them doesn’t work there is another way to make them pay a price for being so disrespectful.

Humans really live in a mushy state where they feel all their chickens should like each other and get along. We all know that is not The Way of the Chicken but sadly most humans do not. Therefore a great way to hurt their feelings is to terrorize all of the lessor chickens in your tribe. Now you need to be careful not to go too far as you don’t want cause too much distress. The key is cause enough to make you feel better and to remind everyone that they will pay a price whenever you as disgraced in this manner. It has the added benefit of securing your reign as top hen by remind everyone of their place. Do try to pick on their favorites as that will cause them the most distress and be certain to do it while they are watching. Sudden and unprovoked is best.

Sansa was exceptionally good at this. Gosh I admired her moxie. She knew how to the play the game the right way. I’ll never forget one night Phyllis thought she should be allowed to roost in the prime spot on the roost and Sansa was torqued over the human giving Phyllis more walnuts than her that afternoon. Walnuts were Sansa’s special thing with the human, and she knew that goofy old Phyllis was one of his favorites. So with him watching she walked right up to Phyllis on the roost and just pecked her right in the face. Gosh it was glorious. I never laughed so hard in my life. She was a true chicken that Sansa.

Before I go let’s discuss this chick situation you have going on at night. You need to put a stop to the incessant cheeping. I can only imagine how annoying that is. You have erred greatly in permitting this to continue and you need to put a stop to it. Now let me first say, I love the young ones. Not enough mind you to waste months of my valuable time hatching and raising them. I am a career hen. I don’t have time for that. But I respect the hens like Sydney who decide to take on the task of raising the next generation. I have had many chances to be with the little ones and I think that when they are raised well, they are little darlings. I love nothing more than walking by and talking to them, showing them the best grass to eat, etc. Remember, chicks are our future. It is not their fault if they are badly behaved. It is their mother’s fault and that is where you need to address their behavior.

You have been lax and now you are going to have to drop the hammer. If a momma hen can’t keep her chicks in line than you need to send one of your minions to deliver a message. Of course, pick a hen who is smart enough to actually relay the message. Once they deliver the necessary discipline and message I assure you that things should calm down. I do know that I addressed this with Sydney up front. I threatened her nest. I told her I would destroy it like I destroyed Phyllis’s nest if she did not promise to keep her little ones in line. Sydney knew the ground rules and Ned and Lucky were perfectly behaved little darlings. I hope that someday one of my tribe will hatch out little ones again. I just hope that the human does not let that annoying Phyllis hatch eggs. She would be even more unbearable than she is now. And can you imagine, a bunch of those little weirdos running around. How annoying would that be!

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I'm here to inform you all that Butter plotted her revenge and executed it perfectly. She somehow managed to postpone her molt and held onto her remaining feathers. Then in the first week of January during a cold snap went naked overnight resulting in 4 nights of house chicken privilege's. Tonight during her show of throwing chickens off the roost. She did it in front of both me and mom. I got angry and went to stop her. Mom stopped me. NO ONE messes with her hen, and if she wants to throw them off the roost, she will help her if need be.

 

[TX Chick Noob]

Oh no! that is so sad to hear - technology is good when it works - not so much when it doesn't. Is there another clinic that you can go to? are you in a full leg cast? you should be in a full leg cast from above the knee to the toes - that would ensure that you don't twist the leg and make those end of bones grind on each other which could cause issues with surrounding tissues.

Of I wish I could give you a hug, a cuppa tea and talk chickens with you to distract you from it all.

OK well I am hoping soon you get this settled

Thank you for your kind words. I am not in a full leg cast, not really a cast at all. Just a hard plastic splint that goes along the bottom of my foot and the part-way up my calf, then wrapped to my foot/leg with an ace bandage.

I finally got in to Ortho today. They have scheduled surgery for next Wednesday at 6 am to screw everything together the way it should be. Then it will be no driving and no weight bearing for 6 weeks.

Sally
Today has been a rollercoaster ride with my poor old Sally; the woman where I keep my horses when I am away, told me last night Sally wasn't acting right. She wasn't eating, and was just standing there.

This morning she still hadn't eaten and wasn't acting right. I asked them to call the Vet to come on out. Well things went from bad to catastrophic; she was doing 'head pressing' where horses press their heads into the wall, and she freaked out and tried to crash through the stall bars, in fact her head went through the bars and the bars had to be cut to get her free.

The Vet called me asking if she had a Rabies vaccine (YES! Always get rabies - it's a $10 shot which not only protects the horse but YOU and your family - rabies = death). The neurological symptoms she was displaying could be rabies, brain tumor, stroke..... So with Rabies cleared up and with no other thing he could find wrong with her, it was decided that the most humane thing would be to put her down. It would have done no good to try to get her in a trailer to go to the Vet College - that would have ended badly I am sure, I have seen horses freaking out in a trailer - not good. At her age also, she could have had a stroke, or even a tumor. Why let her suffer? and she was a danger to those around her, crashing around trying to bash through things

So my poor old Sally is no more. One needs to have nerves of steel to have kids and pets


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05 April 2000 - 25 Jan 2023

I am so very sorry for your loss, especially when you are so far away and couldn’t say a proper goodbye. She obviously had a very good life with you.

Surgery and heartbreak tax

I am going to miss my girls so much by the time I can go see them.

 

[rural mouse]

I guess because I have had the horses for so long and know their ways are not my way (as much as I would like to kick some people…), when I see them scrapping I know that is their way of communication.

Same with the chickens, it drives me mental to see Rose picking on Curly, yet Curly will pick on Buttercup, and buttercup picks on Rose!!!

What sort of convoluted social structure is that?!

Cheetah chases Hector, who chases Horus, who chases Cheetah. Apparently its part of the Way.

 

[rural mouse]

Thank you for your kind words. I am not in a full leg cast, not really a cast at all. Just a hard plastic splint that goes along the bottom of my foot and the part-way up my calf, then wrapped to my foot/leg with an ace bandage.

I finally got in to Ortho today. They have scheduled surgery for next Wednesday at 6 am to screw everything together the way it should be. Then it will be no driving and no weight bearing for 6 weeks.



I am so very sorry for your loss, especially when you are so far away and couldn’t say a proper goodbye. She obviously had a very good life with you.

Surgery and heartbreak tax
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I am going to miss my girls so much by the time I can go see them.

Maybe they can come to you? Sunshine can really help with the healing process. One of the ladies I work with broke her ankle last March, had surgery to put everything back together and still HAS fractures in it. They had her on some hefty vitamin supplements to help, but nothing really started to heal until August. (She's also not one for much outdoor activities). Can you sit outside and let (or have someone bring) the chickens come to you? (Armed with blueberries, grapes, or sardines occasionally)

 

[TX Chick Noob]

Maybe they can come to you? Sunshine can really help with the healing process. One of the ladies I work with broke her ankle last March, had surgery to put everything back together and still HAS fractures in it. They had her on some hefty vitamin supplements to help, but nothing really started to heal until August. (She's also not one for much outdoor activities). Can you sit outside and let (or have someone bring) the chickens come to you? (Armed with blueberries, grapes, or sardines occasionally)

I live in a travel trailer with three steps to get in and out. It is extremely difficult for me to manage right now. Hopefully in a few weeks it will be a little easier, because I would love to sit outside if we have a warm day. But I won’t be able to put weight on that foot for about six weeks.

 

[knoturavggrl]

I live in a travel trailer with three steps to get in and out. It is extremely difficult for me to manage right now. Hopefully in a few weeks it will be a little easier, because I would love to sit outside if we have a warm day. But I won’t be able to put weight on that foot for about six weeks.

I got a knee scooter when I went through my non bearing period and omg I don't know how I would have managed without it. If they will not give you one Amazon has them and they often are available on ebay. That and a walker. Crutches are evil devices imho. There are better options! Glad you have a date for your surgery.

 

[RoyalChick]

I live in a travel trailer with three steps to get in and out. It is extremely difficult for me to manage right now. Hopefully in a few weeks it will be a little easier, because I would love to sit outside if we have a warm day. But I won’t be able to put weight on that foot for about six weeks.

 

[ManueB]

Sally
Today has been a rollercoaster ride with my poor old Sally; the woman where I keep my horses when I am away, told me last night Sally wasn't acting right. She wasn't eating, and was just standing there.

This morning she still hadn't eaten and wasn't acting right. I asked them to call the Vet to come on out. Well things went from bad to catastrophic; she was doing 'head pressing' where horses press their heads into the wall, and she freaked out and tried to crash through the stall bars, in fact her head went through the bars and the bars had to be cut to get her free.

The Vet called me asking if she had a Rabies vaccine (YES! Always get rabies - it's a $10 shot which not only protects the horse but YOU and your family - rabies = death). The neurological symptoms she was displaying could be rabies, brain tumor, stroke..... So with Rabies cleared up and with no other thing he could find wrong with her, it was decided that the most humane thing would be to put her down. It would have done no good to try to get her in a trailer to go to the Vet College - that would have ended badly I am sure, I have seen horses freaking out in a trailer - not good. At her age also, she could have had a stroke, or even a tumor. Why let her suffer? and she was a danger to those around her, crashing around trying to bash through things

So my poor old Sally is no more. One needs to have nerves of steel to have kids and pets


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05 April 2000 - 25 Jan 2023

I'm so sorry Kelly, that she left when you were so far away. She was not a young lady anymore, and had a wonderful life with you. I hope she meets Chaco if there is a beyond somewhere and they have fun together.
With neurological issues at her age, there is nothing you could have done even with a camera watching her, I'm sure you know this.
Your equine pals are not young and it is to your credit that you are keeping them and giving them the best care you can, so many people dump their horses when they grow older.
I know you saw her birth and looking back on the thread, you told us she was a grand daughter of your youth horse, so I can imagine that not being there for her passing must feel very sad .

 

[rural mouse]

I live in a travel trailer with three steps to get in and out. It is extremely difficult for me to manage right now. Hopefully in a few weeks it will be a little easier, because I would love to sit outside if we have a warm day. But I won’t be able to put weight on that foot for about six weeks.

I definitely recommend sitting out when the weather is even somewhat nice and let the chickens come to you. Have a second chair or footstool or tree stump or rock you can rest the foot/leg on if necessary, but BE outside.

 

[Ponypoor]

I'm so sorry Kelly, that she left when you were so far away. She was not a young lady anymore, and had a wonderful life with you. I hope she meets Chaco if there is a beyond somewhere and they have fun together.
With neurological issues at her age, there is nothing you could have done even with a camera watching her, I'm sure you know this.
Your equine pals are not young and it is to your credit that you are keeping them and giving them the best care you can, so many people dump their horses when they grow older.
I know you saw her birth and looking back on the thread, you told us she was a grand daughter of your youth horse, so I can imagine that not being there for her passing must feel very sad .

Thank you Manue - you kind words are much appreciated. Yes she was a grand-daughter of my Penny, and a daughter of my old stallion Indy

Sally's bridal will go and join the other bridals hanging in my tackroom - there are many of them from over the years.

Sally and the other old ladies keeping an eye on the chooks