You speak with truth and clarity!It's tough. I know Alex.
I still find myself looking for Lilly when I only count 4 hens outside, not to mention Sansa. And I have tried to block out Sylvie and Legertha completely like they never were.I never talk about them or even look at pictures of them.
These losses take time. One's like Patsy's seem easier to me. I was there for her like you were there for Rocks-Anne. I hope that helps but she will always be unforgettable to you.
