What a wonderful tax.
Just beautifully put, Bob.
I honestly wasn’t expecting to get as upset as I did with Penny (I should have known better, I’m a very emotional beast as I’ve said) but it all broke on me so fast, and that feeling of helplessness when she was sick and it was obvious she wasn’t going to get better was so just overwhelming. I think I didn’t realise how connected to them I was.
I sat with her for days and sobbed and apologised to her for not being able to help.
You’re correct, it is hard for our loved ones to see us so upset.
I did defend my right to him to be sad at her loss, that to me she was a pet that I loved and hence why I got the new girls without objection once I saw how lonely Bokky was (and once I was ready to add more feathered babies).
He knows I have a big heart and I would heal once I had grieved. He may not share my levels of compassion but he does understand that it is who I am and I can’t be anything else.
With Bok I feel more prepared if/when the time comes, but I will still be very upset and grieve. I’m trying to be strong in front of Vi at the moment; she feels things deeply like I do which is a good thing but exhausting at her age so until the time comes I won’t force the heartbreak on her.
But like you with Mal, maybe it is also subconsciously shielding my feelings of worry and potential grief from him too
Sorry about the novel, but I like that I can talk to you guys on here.
I know when Scrambles, our dog, passes I will have to take bereavement leave from work. It will destroy me, he’s been my best buddy for 11&1/2 years, but I can’t think about it because then I upset myself![]()


