Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[ValarieF]

Another day won't make a difference to the chickens if you need to focus elsewhere.
Remember if you don't look after yourself first, then you won't be able to look after the chickens (or indeed the anxiety-causing daughter).
Big breath. You got this.

Thank you!

 

[rural mouse]

I just realized I have 2 ancona girls with no names so I need to name them. I need kool, unique names.

Try looking up Japanese mythology

 

[rural mouse]

These broadband people are going into my bank account and they took 62 plus pounds off me again this month in the full knowledge I've disconnected their Internet due to them continuingly breaking their own contract. I sought help but it's still happening.


It's not so bad out here today is it Tina. No, at least we got outside so much better than yesterday
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Contact the bank to stop the auto payment.

 

[ValarieF]

Try looking up Japanese mythology

I love Mythology!

 

[rural mouse]

I love Mythology!

Based upon the names you've already used, I figured. If nothing pops for you on the Japanese, maybe try Hindu.....or Celtic. Morrigan comes to mind, especially if one of the girls is particularly dark in color.


https://mythopedia.com/

If you need more ideas...

 

[rural mouse]

Based upon the names you've already used, I figured. If nothing pops for you on the Japanese, maybe try Hindu.....or Celtic. Morrigan comes to mind, especially if one of the girls is particularly dark in color.


https://mythopedia.com/

If you need more ideas...

@ValarieF

And Russian

https://meettheslavs.com/russian-mythology/

 

[BY Bob]

Frostbite Update
I am feeling pretty good about Glynda's comb. That one black point has me the most worried. I think her wattles look great.

 

[ValarieF]

Im gonna name Zeus hen Hera after Zeus wife and the other Ancona hen Venus

 

[ValarieF]

Frostbite Update
I am feeling pretty good about Glynda's comb. That one black point has me the most worried. I think her wattles look great.

View attachment 3366802

She is looking much better I think it will heal up fine

 

[RoyalChick]

Ask Aurora

Today’s question comes from Bernadette.

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She writes……….


Dear Aurora,
I think you know I am a HUGE FAN - and although I can never have a beard like yours, I consider you a role model.

I have heard my human servant talk about wanting more chickens. She often has fanciful ideas (like asking me to sit on her lap) so at first I just ignored it. But she has now said it several times and so I am getting worried.

What does she want with more chickens? Surely I am magnificent enough to make other chickens un-necessary? I enclose a recent picture so you can confirm that I am indeed magnificent.

Also, I still have my work cut out for me ensuring that I get the prime roost spot each night and I only have to battle dear Diana for that spot. I cannot contemplate needing to handle more than Diana.

Honestly, it is exhausting just to think about!

I think I have to stop this whole idea before it gets out of hand. How can I get my servant thinking on more constructive lines like providing more treats instead of this more chickens nonsense?

Yours in complete awe of your achievements,
Bernadette


Dear Bernadette,
From the stories my human has been telling me about you I sense we may be kindred spirits. You certainly understand the “Way of the Chicken” and seem to be living up to the code. Don’t be too disappointed about not having a beard and muffs. Not everyone can grow one. You may want to try Spicey Food. I have heard rumors that it could help create facial feathers.

Looking at your picture I must admit that you are an attractive lady. You would think that someone with your superior looks would be enough for any human. However, humans do not think like chickens do. You need to learn about how humans think to understand what is going to happen to you.

Humans are strange. They never feel they have enough chickens. They are always looking to add more. More usually means different as well. I swear my humans are trying to make a rainbow of some kind. It’s like they want one of every kind. You should see the weirdos they have added to my tribe.

View attachment 3366688

Are those even chickens?

And then there is egg color. Some humans. Like mine are fixated on special color eggs. It wasn’t enough that I gave them beautiful pink eggs, no they had to have blue. I think blue eggs are disgusting. They look like they are spoiled or something.

You need to learn this one thing. Humans are always looking to add more different chickens. They even have a phrase for this tendency. They call it “Chicken Math”.

Chicken Math is not all bad though. There is a reason the smart hen wants to be high up in the pecking order. It is “The Way of the Chicken” for a good reason. Sure we get the choicest treats and food. There is also one more thing you get that you have not experienced. We get minions.

Here are some of my minions.

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You have not experienced the pure extasy it is to be worshiped. Minions will worship you. The smart ones will even bow down when you approach.

You can assign tasks to minions if they prove themselves worthy and they will be thankful for it! For example, you do not always have stand sentinel duty anymore. One of your minions can do it for you.

Minions are free game for friendly (or not so friendly) reminders that they are below you in the pecking order. So, peck them whenever you want. Always remember, it is your sworn duty to remind them of their lowly status whenever possible. That is “The Way of the Chicken”. In fact, it can be tons of fun to ambush and surprise them and make them flee your presence in fear. You already have exceptional roosting talents, put those talents to special use by forcing a minion off the roost at night. It lends a special sense of accomplishment and closure to a long day spent teaching your minions you are their better.

Just because something is your duty doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

I do need to give you one warning though. New chickens may just be bold enough to try and challenge your status. You must destroy them utterly when they first arrive. Typically, the humans will try to make you all be friends. Yes, humans are silly. They do not understand that we can’t be friends until everyone understands their place in the order of things. Once everyone understands their place then we can socialize “nicely”. As you know this is ever “The Way of the Chicken”.

In order to help us to be “friends” the humans will let you meet the newcomers but will keep you separated by wire so you can’t touch them. This is the most important time. You must heed my words. This is when you must, hear me, YOU MUST, intimidate the crap out of them. Charge the wire without running into it while screaming at them. Scrape your beak on the wire like you are sharpening it. Tell them you are going to peck the life out of them as soon as you get the chance. Stare them down. Dedicate part of your day to walking back and forth in front of the wire like some crazy bull just looking for a way to tear through the wire and get at them. They need to think you are nuts.

Humans call this “fence fighting”.

I call it prep.

Then when there is no wire between you for the first time you MUST ATTACK them immediately. Chase them everywhere. Before you know it, they will accept that you are their better and you will have your first minions.

You need to look upon this as an opportunity rather than your human viewing you as not enough. Trust me. You will love being worshiped by your minions. It’s the best.

Dear Aurora,
I cannot tell you how excited I am that you responded to my letter. I really am your number one fan and pay close attention to your every word! I am so flattered that you see me as a kindred spirit and will always try to be worthy of that honor.
I do my very best to follow The Way of the Chicken, and I always ask myself WWAD (what would Aurora do).
It was very helpful to receive your letter before today's publication date and it came not a minute too soon - because as you suspected my human went ahead and did it.
SHE GOT MORE CHICKENS!!
As you said at first she would not let me touch them so I did my best to go chicken hunting from the other side of the fence.

But then Diana showed me a video on Beakbook and it really helped me hone my technique (who would think sweet Diana would be so helpful in this enterprise?!).
This is the video she showed me it is very short but highly instructive:

I have done my best to copy his approach

I must say it is very satisfying to chase them around - but they haven't tried to fight me through the fence. Strangely they sometimes seem to want to chat!

The next development just happened and is truly wonderful. I am allowed to terrorize them as much as I want inside the Chicken Palace. No fence any more!
I have not had such fun EVER.
Sometimes I just look at them and they run away. I could not be happier right now!

I cannot thank you enough for helping me see the opportunities for me in Chicken Math, I feel like the possibilities are endless! Maybe she will get even more chickens? Maybe even tomorrow. I am a bit tired from all the running around, but I am ready to take on any challenge!

Yours in adoration,
Bernadette