Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[featherhead007]

Brilliant!
I am quite relieved mine have not discovered how to get newspapers delivered.

Jaffar orders those magazines all the time. I’m constantly canceling subscriptions. I just haven’t found his cell phone yet. (I think I will let him have the GQ magazine though, since he loves it so much)

 

[lightm]

Those are great signs of recovery.

That is an excellent sign! Bring a pain in the butt is totally a leading sign of recovery. So glad to hear it!

Thank you both! Yes indeed it is a good sign. But self-control is going to be very important for the next month.

April 21, 2021

 

[bgmathteach]

Thanks for asking. He continues to improve and is being a pain in the butt... He went for a walk inside the hospital but he is not supposed to. He claims that he is going to be good and only drink healthy western grape wine when he gets home... But no, he is not supposed to be drinking at all for a while.

Sounds like he is feeling like himself again - ORNERY (well, that certainly sounds like something MY dad would do/say when he was starting to feel his oats again!) While it may be aggravating/frustrating, I am sure a part of you is quite happy to see him being ornery again!

So, I'm at work and don't have any pics to post, so this will have to suffice for my taxes:

https://www.backyardchickens.com/threads/funny-chicken-comics-pictures-and-videos.210014/


.

 

[featherhead007]

Yes there’s a lot of rain, but I’m still staying afloat!

 

[BY Bob]

Look. I really do have four chickens. All in the same place and at the same time. Amazing.
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Look at that! So they all know their place in the order of things now. Excellent!

 

[ValarieF]

Omg 4 eggs and theres a chicken in the nesting box so at least 5 chickens are laying!

 

[Ponypoor]

Ask Aurora
This week's question comes from Snowy.

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She asks........

Dear Aurora

I am wide awake at the crack of dawn and ready to get out there for a hard day's chickening. My problem is; my human doesn't let us out of the run until really late; get this - 7am! I'm thinking about learning how to crow, do you think I should start doing this and at what time should I start? One of my sisters used to attempt crowing at around 5.30am and my human let us out quick-smart! I can be really noisy and bok really loudly, but I'm wondering if crowing would be even better?

Yours in feathership,

Snowy


Dear Snowy,
It always wonderful to hear from my friends down under. Thanks so much for reaching out.

Humans are funny creatures. They all have their own little habits. Some are annoying and some are endearing. No matter what though, it is our responsibility as chickens to teach them the proper behaviors they should exhibit. If left to their own devices they can be quite aggravating and it is our fault if we permit them to be substandard in any way. They don’t know any better if we do not educate them. Good human servants are hard to find so you are likely going to have to train the ones you already have.

How do you train a human? Well let’s look at how humans train each other. There are many ways in which humans train each other but sadly not all of them will work for our purposes. I am going to go through some highlights for you. This list is by no means all inclusive.

Smack them on the nose with a newspaper
This is not a human on human training technique but I am starting with this one because, my gosh, there have been so many times I really wanted to smack my human servant with a newspaper. I have tried many times to get a newspaper subscription delivered so I would have the necessary paper but the human which delivers it just can’t get the address right and leaves it at the human coop. They also need smacked with a newspaper. It is just one frustrating loop.

Smack them on the hand with a ruler
This is frequently performed by humans who are, for some odd reason, dressed like flightless birds. You would think this one would be a natural for us to use based upon the bird connection. However, much like the newspaper, it is very hard to obtain the necessary ruler.

Crate Them
This one may seem really cruel as many of your friends or even yourself may have been crated simply because they wanted to be a momma hen. My best friend Maleficent was cruelly crated by our human when she wanted to hatch eggs and be a momma. I was able to teach him how bad this behavior was on his part and now even that idiot Phyllis is allowed to try and be a momma if she wants. Get this though! Humans not only crate broody hens but they crate each other! They call it jail or prison. How much fun would it be to crate your human servant who wants to be a mum until they give up on the idea! Sadly I have yet to be able to get my wings on a crate that would be big enough for my human servant. Don’t you worry, I will keep looking and if I ever do find one, I will let you know from where I obtained it.

Chicken Therapy
Humans will lay on a couch and tell other humans their problems. The point with this is for the other more put together human to tell them how to fix themselves. The more put together human will suggest ways they can improve themselves and will even charge them for the suggestions!

What we are looking to achieve is behavior modification as well and many human servants will sit outside with us drinking a beverage of some kind, many times wine, and dump all of their problems on us. We are 90% of the way there. Unfortunately, the problem in deploying this method is that humans do not speak chicken. While we clearly understand what they are saying to us, for whatever reason, they are simply not intelligent enough to learn our language and we do not have lips so we can use theirs. Sadly, this method is also out.

Clucker Training
This is higher level of training where you can use a sound (a cluck) to train your human servant to do most anything. Clucker training is a positive reinforcement training method based on a bridging stimulus (the cluck) in operant conditioning. The system uses conditioned reinforcers, which a trainer can deliver more quickly and more precisely than primary reinforcers such as food. The term "clucker" comes from the noise that a chicken makes which the trainer uses to precisely mark the desired behavior. When training a new behavior, the clucker helps the human to quickly identify the precise behavior that results in the treat.

What is a treat for a human? Why eggs of course. Most humans will do anything which results in eggs. Your challenge with clucker training is to associate the “cluck” with “eggs” so you can then use the cluck to reinforce the behaviors you wish your human servant to exhibit. A really talented hen can train their human servant to wait on them constantly with just a cluck. This is a dream to which we all should aspire.

Human Children
Perhaps we should look at how human children train their parents for some guidance. Two of the methods that human children frequently use are the “Wear Down” and the “Tantrum”.

The Wear Down
Human children will frequently simply repeat what they want over and over until the adult human gives up in an effort to just shut them up. Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? You have excellent instincts as this is actually one of the strategies that you have already suggested. We have all been able to grab our human servant’s attention by bawking very loudly and continuously. This is a sound strategy and you should seriously consider employing it as early in the day as possible.

The Tantrum
When the Wear Down fails many human children move on to the tantrum. This is when they move from saying the same thing over and over again to screaming and flailing about. This is clearly a move of last resort for the children as it can easily backfire and get them crated.

However, this may actually work for our human servant training purposes.

Snowy you have talked about possibly learning to crow. A crowing hen is equivalent to a tantrum throwing child in that it ramps up the bawk bawk bawking to another level. It is dissimilar in that it is unlikely to fail. Let me explain.

You have already described how your human servant hustled out when your sister used to crow. Have you ever wondered why?

Many humans hate being woken up early in the morning. This is one of the reasons why it is so hard for you to train your human servant to get up and let you out. Humans hate getting up early so much that in some places they have rules that do not permit roosters. This is because, as we all know, roosters tend to crow early in the morning. Lilly used to tell stories of the rooster that lived with her, Jabberwocky, waking everyone up in the middle of the night. That is why he is not longer here. My human servant has told me so. In fact my human servant got in trouble with the other humans because he had a crowing rooster.

What does this mean for you? If you can learn to crow, I promise your human servant will respond positively to your tantrum and come let you out. They do not want to make the other humans angry.

In short, bawk loudly, throw in a crow or two and I expect you will be let out whenever you want. In addition, I would start working on you clucker training. We all have a responsibility to train our human servants. It is “The Way of the Chicken”.

We all must follow “The Way”.

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Dear Aurora;

I was wondering why I as a mere human had become so attuned to the BAWK of my Overseers. So operant training is what they have been employing. Good to know!

If my Overseers wish to train my Mum though they will need to come up with a different strategy as she doesn’t seem to be knuckling under for you.

I did however note that last week when my Overseers where BAWKing extremely loudly I was immediately wanting to come to their aid, and my Mum was talked into going out and checking on them. So I guess in actual fact you have trained me, and as the Child I have trained my Mum.

You are very wise Aurora, as a mere human I bow down to you.

 

[Ponypoor]

Look. I really do have four chickens. All in the same place and at the same time. Amazing.
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Such a lovely site to behold!

 

[ValarieF]

 

[featherhead007]

Friends, I have a serious attitude for altitude today, but I was warned that I need a 20 mile visual, away from any storm clouds. (I’m surrounded by storm clouds) So I guess I should just start fixing the roof. Sadly 10 ft high isn’t quite the same as 8000ft !