Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[knoturavggrl]

Ask Aurora
Today's question comes from someone who calls themselves, Mr Perfect Balanced.

View attachment 3379318

He writes.......

Dear Aurora;

As a Macho Macho Man, it has come to my attention that there seem to be Enablers out there trying to entice my harem into sneaking off somewhere and magically reappearing with a line of (what I am sure will be adorable) offspring.

What Macho Macho Man wouldn't want to flex his wings and crow about his offspring! After all I am a well balanced individual…

Now while I would enjoy being a father, these thing do need planning and preparation. What are your thoughts on this?

Affectionately yours,

Mr Perfect Balanced

Dear Mr. Perfect Balanced (somehow, I don’t think that is really your name),

It has taken me a while to get to your letter because there were others with more pressing needs but now as the days start to get longer I feel the time is right to provide a response to your conundrum. First it is time for me to remind you of The Way of the Chicken as it seems you have lost your “Way”.

This leads me to wonder. Are you certain that you actually are a chicken? You bear a striking resemblance to that nutty lady in my tribe Phyllis. I’m pretty sure that chickens don’t really look like you all do.

However, that is besides the point as it does not help you with your question. It seems that you have ladies whom you protect and wait on hand and foot like a proper rooster should. Further, it appears that these ladies appreciate your efforts enough to permit you liaisons. So for the sake of this letter, and this letter only, we will assume you are a chicken.

It is The Way of the Chicken to reproduce regardless of the wishes of our human servants. Many times that requires feats of extraordinary engineering or agility. I saw that Momma Hen responded to you. She is possibly the greatest momma of all time. She just hatched chicks on the side of a ravine above a creek in winter!


Who does that?


A CHICKEN that’s who.


It is The Way of the Chicken and it is time you and your group stepped up and started acting like the clever chickens you are. You know why Momma Hen hatched chicks at the craziest time of the year in such a perilous location? Because she had to do so to elude her human servant. Whatever it takes.

If your ladies are not already talking with Momma Hen you better get busy setting it up. It is important that they learn from the master. This year should be the year for your tribe to double in size with broodies hidden everywhere. Couldn’t you use some sons to help take care of everyone?

You are right in one thing; it takes planning. You best get started soon so you can execute before your human servant returns. Your chances of success are much higher when she is not there.

Remember, it is your duty as a chicken to frustrate you human servant whenever possible. There is nothing like a surprise momma hen with chicks in tow to frustrate them. You have the perfect opportunity to do so. I expect to hear that you have taken advantage of it.

Or else, maybe I’m right and you are not really a chicken after all…..

View attachment 3379319

Awesome post! I share many of these with my young flock since they have no one with experience to explain the way of the chicken to them. This one however, I think I will hold off on till they are older!

 

[BY Bob]

A New Strategy
It seems Aurora has instituted a new policy and the early returns for the tribe are quite good.

To understand the change you need to know a little about how things work around here.

Mrs BY Bob will throw snacks out into the deck anytime chickens show up at the backdoor. In the past this is not too much of an issue as she worked during the winter and never saw them during the daylight hours except on weekends. However, Mrs BY Bob retired last February. With the constant snow cover last winter nothing really changed.

This winter there has been no snow cover. Not more than a couple of hours.

So what alerted me to the change?

We ran out of meal worms yesterday.

Those meal worms should have lasted another month!

So how has Aurora gotten the tribe more snacks?

She has stationed 2 hens at the backdoor all day long. There are always two of them staring into the house. That way every time Mrs BY Bob passes the backdoor, there are chickens awaiting snacks and she tosses some out.

I can't get over how smart this is. It has been super effective. I have had a discussion with Mrs BY Bob but I doubt anything with change.

Here are two of them on duty at the backdoor. Waiting patiently.

Mrs BY Bob is being played like a fiddle.

 

[rural mouse]

A New Strategy
It seems Aurora has instituted a new policy and the early returns for the tribe are quite good.

To understand the change you need to know a little about how things work around here.

Mrs BY Bob will throw snacks out into the deck anytime chickens show up at the backdoor. In the past this is not too much of an issue as she worked during the winter and never saw them during the daylight hours except on weekends. However, Mrs BY Bob retired last February. With the constant snow cover last winter nothing really changed.

This winter there has been no snow cover. Not more than a couple of hours.

So what alerted me to the change?

We ran out of meal worms yesterday.

Those meal worms should have lasted another month!

So how has Aurora gotten the tribe more snacks?

She has stationed 2 hens at the backdoor all day long. There are always two of them staring into the house. That way every time Mrs BY Bob passes the backdoor, there are chickens awaiting snacks and she tosses some out.

I can't get over how smart this is. It has been super effective. I have had a discussion with Mrs BY Bob but I doubt anything with change.

Here are two of them on duty at the backdoor. Waiting patiently.

View attachment 3379521

Mrs BY Bob is being played like a fiddle.

This deserves a too!

 

[BY Bob]

A New Strategy
It seems Aurora has instituted a new policy and the early returns for the tribe are quite good.

To understand the change you need to know a little about how things work around here.

Mrs BY Bob will throw snacks out into the deck anytime chickens show up at the backdoor. In the past this is not too much of an issue as she worked during the winter and never saw them during the daylight hours except on weekends. However, Mrs BY Bob retired last February. With the constant snow cover last winter nothing really changed.

This winter there has been no snow cover. Not more than a couple of hours.

So what alerted me to the change?

We ran out of meal worms yesterday.

Those meal worms should have lasted another month!

So how has Aurora gotten the tribe more snacks?

She has stationed 2 hens at the backdoor all day long. There are always two of them staring into the house. That way every time Mrs BY Bob passes the backdoor, there are chickens awaiting snacks and she tosses some out.

I can't get over how smart this is. It has been super effective. I have had a discussion with Mrs BY Bob but I doubt anything with change.

Here are two of them on duty at the backdoor. Waiting patiently.

View attachment 3379521

Mrs BY Bob is being played like a fiddle.

She is feeding them right now!

 

[RoyalChick]

A New Strategy
It seems Aurora has instituted a new policy and the early returns for the tribe are quite good.

To understand the change you need to know a little about how things work around here.

Mrs BY Bob will throw snacks out into the deck anytime chickens show up at the backdoor. In the past this is not too much of an issue as she worked during the winter and never saw them during the daylight hours except on weekends. However, Mrs BY Bob retired last February. With the constant snow cover last winter nothing really changed.

This winter there has been no snow cover. Not more than a couple of hours.

So what alerted me to the change?

We ran out of meal worms yesterday.

Those meal worms should have lasted another month!

So how has Aurora gotten the tribe more snacks?

She has stationed 2 hens at the backdoor all day long. There are always two of them staring into the house. That way every time Mrs BY Bob passes the backdoor, there are chickens awaiting snacks and she tosses some out.

I can't get over how smart this is. It has been super effective. I have had a discussion with Mrs BY Bob but I doubt anything with change.

Here are two of them on duty at the backdoor. Waiting patiently.

View attachment 3379521

Mrs BY Bob is being played like a fiddle.

That is simultaneously: genius, adorable, and hilarious!
Maybe you need to give Mrs. BY Bob a daily ration to share with her friends for their own good.

 

[RoyalChick]

For thirsty Thursday. Lovely Diana only a few short days ago.
Poor girl is not doing well today.

 

[ChicoryBlue]

This morning.

They take their rests and preening times there on the right. That’s where the warming panels are, and it’s the most protected. They were stock still though, somebody making a chippy sort of trill. Not that descending whistle, but a series of peeps.

 

[ChicoryBlue]

For thirsty Thursday. Lovely Diana only a few short days ago.
Poor girl is not doing well today.
View attachment 3379542

I’m so sorry she is not well. She is a grand lady! How did she do last night, did she stay on the roost?
Is she one of your original group? What breed is she, someone referred to her being old for her breed, but just four years old?

 

[ChicoryBlue]

That is simultaneously: genius, adorable, and hilarious!
Maybe you need to give Mrs. BY Bob a daily ration to share with her friends for their own good.

This solution gives her control of when and how much to toss but limits the total per day amount. But @BY Bob are you sure it’s a rotating crew out there, or are some getting bellyfulls and others none?

 

[RoyalChick]

I’m so sorry she is not well. She is a grand lady! How did she do last night, did she stay on the roost?
Is she one of your original group? What breed is she, someone referred to her being old for her breed, but just four years old?

Yes, she is the last of the original Princesses. She is an ISA Brown and she has had reproductive issues (shell-less eggs) for 9 months or so.
I anticipated she would likely get egg bound when she started laying again in the spring so I have been expecting her to die soon but had hoped she would make it to her 4th birthday in a couple of months. Honestly I thought she would go before Maggie.
My best guess is she has reproductive tumors or something like that.
She did fine on the roost last night and if last night turns out to be her last night with me, then I am glad she spent it with some normality.
She has been a very benevolent leader and will be the last of my people-friendly chickens. Without her I will definitely fall behind on Chicken Palace gossip unless one of the others takes pity on me.