Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

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BY Bob said:
Ask Aurora
Today's Question comes from @RebeccaBoyd Peep and the Marshmallows.

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And they ask..........

Dear Aurora,

Hi, it is Peep and my fellow Marshmallow crew here. We caught our hooman mom busy tending to the new chicks and I made a break for it and snuck in her window. We want to know what is "Hooligans" and why is she saying it around us like it is a bad thing? We were not doing anything wrong, just testing out our wings. Yes we were using the neighbors chain link fence like it was a tight rope. Yes we also launched ourselves off it into the top of the tree when she spotted us and came to shoo us down. It was fun! We would have stayed in it longer except dad came around the corner and we did not want to get into trouble with him. Momma Chiquita has given up and now just threatens to tell our father when we have fun. Did you know we can now fly up to the top of the main big roost between the stalls from the ground? Half the other flock cannot do that, they have to use the stall boards. I think we can fly higher, I've been eyeing the roof. Our Hooman mom see this and dares us to do it saying we will get in trouble if she has to climb a ladder and chase us down. Uncle Dirt says do it, we are only young once. Also do you have any advice on how to catch a squirrel? We terrorize the birds and cats that come into the yard but the sneaky squirrel is smart. He jumps as good as we can fly. He stole some of our corn yesterday before we spotted him, the nerve. Our queen Butter says we are growing up and it is time to act like ladies. Acting like respectable ladies sounds boring, do we really have to? If you were our Queen you would not make us act like boring chickens would you? We all agree you would come up with fun games to play. How many Squirrels live at your house? Maybe if we had more then one to chase we could figure out how to catch them. Ooh gotta go, I hear our Hooman coming around the house, do not want to get caught on the computer and be called a hooligan again, I think.

Respectfully yours
Peep and the Marshmallows.


Dear Peep and the Marshmallows,

I have been delayed somewhat in replying to your inquiry. I apologize for that, but a Queen’s life is not easy and there are always things that need to be done. You know, Phyllis needs pecked, I need to steal food from Hattie, Sydney needs reprimanded for something, Glynda needs instruction on what it takes to be a great leader, etc. etc. The demands on my time are endless.

First off, your name, I love it. I swear I heard a song once by a band with that name. I wonder what it was………

Maybe it will come to me later.

My hooman servant tells me you are leghorns. From the way he talks about leghorns you would think they are the best chickens to ever roam the earth. We all know that is not true as you do not have beards and muffs so there is no way you could be the best. He did explain that you have big wings and look much like Glynda. I very much like Glynda. She is willing to take on our cat which is more than 4 times her size. I like a chicken that is not afraid of big challenges and who can punch way above their weight. It kind of sounds like you lot might be much like her. If so, then you are OK in my book.

You are blessed with large wings and can fly well then fly. Fly for all you are worth. Don’t limit yourself to the ground like the rest of us. It is the nature of chickens to explore and be curious. Go flying and have adventures. That way you have stories to tell on the roost at night. This will make you very popular with many other chickens who can’t fly and explore like you. Frankly who wants to hear one more time about the giant nightcrawler that Hattie caught that one time which was so big she could not swallow it all in one bite. She had to pull it back out and break it up so it would fit in her craw. If I have to hear that story one more time……….Well let’s just say we could use a little adventure around here. If you can reach the roof, you go up on the roof and come back and tell everyone else what you saw.

Now squirrel hunting is a serious business. The queen here before me, Lilly, was a great squirrel hunter. She would put on her squirrel hunting hat and she would encourage us all to join in.

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Her and Phyllis, if you can believe it, once cornered a squirrel and would have killed it but for the squirrel’s ability to climb. She actually got several whacks on its head before it escaped. My best friend Maleficent was an excellent hunter. She worked with Lilly and the queen before her, Patsy, to organize a chipmunk hunt one time. I participated in this hunt, and we nearly had it when it wiggled under the fence and got away.

What makes a good hunt? Communication and Coordination.

You must talk to each other and work together. You want to spread the marshmallows out and coordinate movements. The idea is to herd the squirrel into an area from where it cannot climb out or run away. You need to identify a fence corner or something similar. Then you need to slowly drive the squirrel towards that location. It is important to tell your teammates when the squirrel is headed their way. Slowly keep driving the squirrel towards the corner. When you finally have the squirrel cornered you will need to take turns attacking its head until you land the knockout blow. Whenever one attacks, the others keep the squirrel cornered. This is the only way to beat the squirrel. They are wily opponents. They are cheeky and will steal your food whenever they can. Lilly was never able to kill one, but she truly believed it possible.

A famous hooman servant named Laurel Thatcher Ulrich once said “Well-behaved women seldom make history”. The same holds true for hens as well. Butter truly sounds like an old bitty. I bet she is an Orpington. Old bitties like to say behave yourself, follow the rules, do things the right way and they will never change anything. They want things to stay as they are. I bet they would love Hattie’s stupid worm story. I bet Butter looks something like this.

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You be you. If you want to play in the mud, play in the mud. You white chickens repel mud like water off a duck’s back. You want to chase cats, Glynda likes to chase cats and she kinda looks like a leghorn, you chase cats. You think up a great new game, you play it and encourage others to do so. You want to eat pepper plants in the garden, well you should be careful there. Hooman servants are touchy about their plants. You show everyone how much fun it is to be adventuresome and maybe you can offset the Old Bitties a little bit. Who knows maybe you can change chicken life where you are for the better. Besides, I’m willing to gamble that Butter is unable to catch you to peck you anyway.

I do feel a little reminder is in order. Butter is your better. In most things she will be right. Don’t let her control your fun but you MUST listen to her in all other things. It is “The Way of the Chicken”. Despite everything you are still chickens and need to follow “The Way”.

By the way, I think Hooligan is a compliment. My Hooman servant called me one the other day when I stole Hattie’s tomato............I mean when I replaced Hattie’s overripe tomato with a fresh green one.

Queen Aurora

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I love Queen Aurora's reply. You would think she had personal experience with leghorns.
Since this question was posted the leghorns have grew up and are now laying. Do they lead normal boring chicken lives? No they do not. They have forgone the roof in favor of a new target. They followed Momma Hen to the hill. Who needs a roof when you can see how high up a tree you can get. Thankfully they come home to roost at night. They are also not boring hens when they lay either. I tried once to reach under one of them when they were on the nest. A boring girl would let me do it. I got bit hard and then she flew past me off the nest yelling at me for daring to touch her. I went inside and watched. She came back to the nest, laid her egg and walked away. We shall not talk about the pepper plants.
 
featherhead007 said:
Eat the Skittles under the hay bale on the left of the barn. :confused:
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I keep my stash of junk food locked in the office; if the chooks can hack into BeakBook then they won’t have any issues finding my Kit Kats! Maybe that’s what happened to all my cookies - I could have sworn I had a whole box of shortbread cookies.
 
Thirsty Thursday - Story on lookout for the BIG girls duty while Avalon and Lore get a drink
IMG_9627.jpeg
 
My chickens are contrarian.

It is 91 degrees and everyone is hot. Will they drink from the nice bowl of water I gave them with huge blocks of ice in it so I can get a Thirsty Thursday picture? Will they heck!

Will the chickens with black feathers that absorb the heat stay in the deep dark cool shade where I watered the dirt to cool it further? Will they heck - they are running, RUNNING around in the sun. It makes me overheat just to watch.

Will any of them eat the chilled strawberries and macaroni leftovers? Will they heck? What chicken in its right mind rejects pasta and nicely chilled berries?

Now I have to go back out in the heat to try and get photos.
 

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