Wow. That’s an emotional roller coaster ride post !We don't go where our dog is not welcome. If it's not possible to stay at the person's house, we'll get a pet friendly motel.
We boarded our first dog when we had an emergency trip out of state. She knew the people (our vet), they loved her, we paid for extra "individual play time," (they all wanted to play with Shadow!), and she still came home with a stress-induced bladder infection. We agreed that we'd never board a dog again.