Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[featherhead007]

New rooster in town! Oops I meant grandsonView attachment 3723314

Congratulations Grampa another boy in the family!

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

I am copying this from a post on a facebook group called Everything Backyard Chicken! This is relatable on so many levels and had me in tears laughing.

You’re a chicken

owner now. That’s great that you had a golden doodle named “Pepper” and know how to care for animals. Take all that knowledge about dogs, cats or whatever 4 legged mammal you have and tuck it away neatly in the file labeled “useless”. Cuz my brothers and sisters in Christ, chickens will have you second guessing yourself about embarking into the world of mini velociraptors. Let me explain further:
If you don’t currently cuss, the second a rooster tries to spur you like he pays rent, you’ll be saying vulgar words in many different languages that you didn’t know you knew

. Or when a broody hen tries to peck your eyeballs out, you’ll be saying things that you’re mother would be ashamed of.
Chickens do not need heat or AC. Pepper the golden doodle might’ve, but not Rocky the rooster. Take that money and go get a good pair of muck boots

. Or go replace those bald tires that are one illegal U turn away from being past tense.
Chicken math is an addiction and should be treatable and covered by health insurance. Just like it’s guaranteed that you’re gonna have that one relative that has one too many PBRs and embarrasses the whole family at the reunion, chicken math is as certain as taxes and death. Don’t fight it. You’re not strong enough.
Chickens will sh*t

on your porch even if they live on enough land to support a large Amish community. Your porch is gonna be where they go to get away from their kids and try to recenter their zen. You might pay the mortgage, but through the powers of imminent domain, it’s theirs now and you’re just allowed to exist on it. That’s it. You’re basically the maid and housekeeper for them that is underpaid and don’t get a 401k.
If you don’t already have a therapist, don’t worry. Cuz one day you’ll find yourself sitting with the chickens with either a bottle or a cooler full of adult beverages talking about how Pam at work would not shut up about her trip to Spain with her sister and now you’re questioning if you really even need that job. And they’re gonna appear to be attentive but in reality you’re making them wish they never hatched. And now they’re the ones needing a therapist after hearing all your trauma stories.
NO matter how much lovins you give them, some chickens will just not like you. Yes it might remind you of that certain ex that didn’t give you validation or affection. It’s not their fault tho in this case. So just throw em food and tell em to eff off every single day like a grown up.
So yeah, you’re a chicken owner now. We go through all of that emotional trauma, physical and mental bullying just to save $5 on eggs

. It’s a great time to be alive

PS: follow my other Facebook account if you like chicken humor

: RandomGuyInTn

 

[CCsGarden]

Thanks, the wind is already starting up...

we are getting the wind as well!
gust up to 65-70 mph!!
the houses behind us had the roof tiles fly off the other day!!
I hope we are safe! oh and my chickens!

 

[Ponypoor]

Conures are nice birds, my brother has one. They may not be for everybody. For one, they bite, all birds bite, but Happy has got in some pretty good bites and drew blood. When she is molting, she is grouchy and bites if you hit a pin feather. During breeding season even without a mate the bird will get hormonal, territorial and chances for bites increase. We are not 100% sure if Happy is a girl, behavior points to one. My brother could get her dna sexed and he has thought about it, but then he knows by the time she is about 3 he will know for sure one way or another. If she is in fact a she she will eventually lay a egg. When we went through her first breeding season we did notice she hated girls, hated us. The only person she would tolerate for 2 months having any interaction with her was my brother. They need a fairly large cage, larger then petco where my brother purchased her recommended. Thankfully before he got her he had read up on that so declined the cockatiel cage that was cheaper they tried to sell him. She does not like change, her cage is her sanctuary and the quickest way to tick her off is to clean her cage. Even moving toys to different locations makes her mad. Toys, toys are a necessity. Those beaks grow constantly. They need plenty of toys in their cage to destroy. Destroying the wooden toys files her beak and keeps her happy so she does not become a feather plucker. That is one habit with any bird you want to avoid. Happy is a variety of a green cheek conure called "Black Capped". For a bird she is quiet. Oh she can still scream and be heard throughout the house but it is not constant. I love to hear her and my brother "argue". He will talk to her and she will scream at him. You can tell my her screams whether she is happy or angry. She also knows some words. Getting her to say those words or phrases if you are not him is hit or miss. He is her person. 1 issue she came with coming from petco was a crap seed diet. Yes she loved it, yes she would live on it. Is it healthy, nope, and would drop her life expectancy from about 20 to 30 years down to 5 to 10. Transitioning her to a healthy pelleted and veggie diet was a 5 month at times painful slow process.

Gosh she sounds like a salty old character she must be a Newfoundlander

 

[Desertvalleychickens]

we are getting the wind as well!
gust up to 65-70 mph!!
the houses behind us had the roof tiles fly off the other day!!
I hope we are safe! oh and my chickens!

I am sorry. I am wondering why most of the country is getting so much wind. Cardboard, plastics, and tumbleweeds are flying through my yard! And there is a chance of rain or sleet tonight!

 

[Desertvalleychickens]

Chickens and today's egg haul.

Today's total: 13 eggs.

 

[bgmathteach]

@Lilion
Hope your hubby's surgery went well and that you survived the storm with not damage to your home nor chicken coop.

@SimpleJenn : Hope all is well with the house - can you have someone look at the generator? Carbon monoxide is serious and scary - hope you all are safe and mr. lizzard didn't escape the garbage bin! (silly lizzard, doesn't know what is good for him!)

Hope everyone else survived - intact - the storms!

All!

 

[Ponypoor]

I am copying this from a post on a facebook group called Everything Backyard Chicken! This is relatable on so many levels and had me in tears laughing.

You’re a chicken

owner now. That’s great that you had a golden doodle named “Pepper” and know how to care for animals. Take all that knowledge about dogs, cats or whatever 4 legged mammal you have and tuck it away neatly in the file labeled “useless”. Cuz my brothers and sisters in Christ, chickens will have you second guessing yourself about embarking into the world of mini velociraptors. Let me explain further:
If you don’t currently cuss, the second a rooster tries to spur you like he pays rent, you’ll be saying vulgar words in many different languages that you didn’t know you knew

. Or when a broody hen tries to peck your eyeballs out, you’ll be saying things that you’re mother would be ashamed of.
Chickens do not need heat or AC. Pepper the golden doodle might’ve, but not Rocky the rooster. Take that money and go get a good pair of muck boots

. Or go replace those bald tires that are one illegal U turn away from being past tense.
Chicken math is an addiction and should be treatable and covered by health insurance. Just like it’s guaranteed that you’re gonna have that one relative that has one too many PBRs and embarrasses the whole family at the reunion, chicken math is as certain as taxes and death. Don’t fight it. You’re not strong enough.
Chickens will sh*t

on your porch even if they live on enough land to support a large Amish community. Your porch is gonna be where they go to get away from their kids and try to recenter their zen. You might pay the mortgage, but through the powers of imminent domain, it’s theirs now and you’re just allowed to exist on it. That’s it. You’re basically the maid and housekeeper for them that is underpaid and don’t get a 401k.
If you don’t already have a therapist, don’t worry. Cuz one day you’ll find yourself sitting with the chickens with either a bottle or a cooler full of adult beverages talking about how Pam at work would not shut up about her trip to Spain with her sister and now you’re questioning if you really even need that job. And they’re gonna appear to be attentive but in reality you’re making them wish they never hatched. And now they’re the ones needing a therapist after hearing all your trauma stories.
NO matter how much lovins you give them, some chickens will just not like you. Yes it might remind you of that certain ex that didn’t give you validation or affection. It’s not their fault tho in this case. So just throw em food and tell em to eff off every single day like a grown up.
So yeah, you’re a chicken owner now. We go through all of that emotional trauma, physical and mental bullying just to save $5 on eggs

. It’s a great time to be alive

PS: follow my other Facebook account if you like chicken humor

: RandomGuyInTn

Hahahaha that's great

So true!

 

[CCsGarden]

I am sorry. I am wondering why most of the country is getting so much wind. Cardboard, plastics, and tumbleweeds are flying through my yard! And there is a chance of rain or sleet tonight!

yeah! us to! trash cans falling, trash flying and a chance of rain!
its going to get to 25F tonight!

 

[Ponypoor]

- 14,000?

Oh come on you know I hate winter! Anything under 70F is winter to me

Winter Whining Tax

BFTP
Silkie baby