Official Squatch Watchers

[staceyj]

View attachment 1605606
I got a present!

This is beautiful!

 

[Suzi18]

I’m curious about this!
Do you mist it to expand the pellets or just let them absorb the moisture thats there?
Also how is it a little later on?
Does it decompose well?

My run is sand and dirt.
Needs some freshening but gosh I HATE lugging 50 lb bags of sand.
I need at least eight to make it worth the trouble.

Just wondering.....do you have anyone around your area that can deliver sand by truck. I have a local guy that delivers by the 1/2 ton. I get a ton delivered every other spring for $90....that includes delivery. I have him dump it in a corner of my property and then I can use it at needed. Bucketful or wheelbarrow full .I know a ton sounds like a lot but you would be surprised .

 

[apryl29]

I’m curious about this!
Do you mist it to expand the pellets or just let them absorb the moisture thats there?
Also how is it a little later on?
Does it decompose well?

My run is sand and dirt.
Needs some freshening but gosh I HATE lugging 50 lb bags of sand.
I need at least eight to make it worth the trouble.

I want to know this too! I sprinkled 2 bags of sand in and figured I'd need at least 10 more to make a difference.

 

[Chickassan]

Very true, but if i'm fast enough i'll at least get to smell them.

Holy wow! Is everyone ok? & the sign looks great!


So this is my story & opinion on this subject, take it as you wish...
That was my marriage. My ex's family hated me. I literally did nothing wrong, but the first time I met my future father in law he had a stick up his butt about me. Something about 'where I came from' was close to where he'd met my ex's mother (no matter that it wasn't the same place, but I digress). When my ex asked me to marry him, w/o getting his dad's input, my loser ex took me w/ him to tell his dad b/c he knew his dad would be mad (then why do it?!). His dad gave me a flower as a 'peace offering'. Peace offering?! I'd done nothing wrong. We got married in a beautiful Catholic church that his step-mom went to.. during the photos his dad made a gesture like he was going to push me down the steps. Again.. why? I'd done nothing wrong. When I was pregnant w/ my older daughter months later my ex's cousin was getting married. I assumed I was invited to the bridal shower w/ his mom. I bought them a gift & we came over to his parent's house the day of the shower. His mom told me that b/c my baby might be messed up (at that point we'd gotten back a test result that said she had calcium deposits in her heart and might have downs syndrome, though a blood test said she was fine) that they didn't want to invite me. I gave her my gift to give to them, smiled and said that's ok. I understand. It wasn't ok and I didn't understand. It was a rude and crappy thing to do. After my daughter was born my ex decided that he wanted to track down his mom. I helped, hoping that she would be nice and like me. I was wrong. They were just as horrible as his dad. We visited them once and they were taking pictures. I remember standing outside their house. My husband holding my daughter on his left arm. Me standing by his right. All smiling, together. They took the camera in and printed out the picture, then brought it out and gave him a copy. They'd cropped me out of it. It was a rude and crappy thing to do. I had literally done nothing wrong. When I got pregnant w/ my youngest I put a cute little shirt on my daughter that said Big Sister and sent her out to show them her new shirt. I watched through a mirror from another room. No smiles, just a look of disappointment. Later in the kitchen, my FIL asked my husband if 'he wanted this'.. later he suggested an abortion. What I didn't know was that my husband was an adulterer (the real kind where there's a bunch of women he'd been running around with) and he'd been telling his parents one thing, while reality was very different. I was not welcome with either part of his family, though I tried my hardest to make them like me. Crappy remarks, back handed compliments. When I was pregnant w/ my younger one we were at his parent's place for a graduation party for his mom who had finished nursing school. I was inside the play room w/ my oldest. She was playing w/ an elmo toy. His mom came up to us, took the toy and gave it to the woman she was talking to and said Thanks for letting them borrow it, they didn't need it anymore b/c their grandson was too old for it.. ignoring that she literally took it from her granddaughter's hands.
So yeah... 8 years of crap like this over and over again. One thing I learned was that my ex was NEVER going to stand up for me. Ever. I'll never know what kind of crap he told his parents. What stories he created to make them believe that I had trapped him and forced him to marry me (which couldn't be further from the truth). Or if his parent's concocted these stories on their own after their son didn't meet their exceptions and immediately blamed the harlot he was running around with. I just know that I never felt accepted in their family & that they went well out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable. After we separated he had the balls to tell me that his dad said I was doing a good job raising my kids. B/c apparently his approval was to mean everything to me. We were well past the point that his opinion mattered to me.
I'm not trying to make you feel like your husband doesn't love you, he's likely one of those guys who just wants to make everyone happy and you end up getting the short end of the stick every time b/c it's easier on him to piss off one person than 10. I totally get how you feel & you are justified in being upset b/c they could have easily cropped the photo so the deceased relatives photos would be saved. I don't blame you for not wanting to attend events with his family. No one should have to put up with that kind of attitude when they're just trying to have a nice time. You're fully justified in staying home and you shouldn't have to mince words about it. "I don't feel welcome, you should go, and have a nice time." And if someone happens to ask where you are he should say "She said she doesn't feel welcome.", naturally they'll say "I don't see why not" and all he has to say is "Really?" and walk away... b/c you're not the problem, they are. It's not that hard to be civil to someone. Of course he'd have to actually say these things, which in the spirit of keeping the peace he won't. The problem could be something so stupid as they liked his ex-wife and they're mad at you for it even though it's not your fault. So your husband needs to say to them "Tough taters, the ex is gone and Cindi is here to stay. You need to get over it, it's been 9+ years. Move on and start treating my wife like she's part of the family like I have for all the jerks you taters have married." It's really easy to be passive and be like Well this is only a problem once or twice a year. No, it's a problem all the time, it's only a problem for him once or twice a year. Either he's not paying attention or he's blind to it. Another idea that might work is for you to send them all a letter and explain to them how you feel unwelcome & that while they might not like you or are giving you grief b/c they liked hubby's ex they're forgetting that their son/brother made the decision to marry you and it's disrespectful to him to treat you this way (give examples & point out that you don't see any of the others getting this treatment). Even if they crap all over it, you tried. Make a copy and share it with your husband and see if he finally gets it.
(This was really hard to type b/c I wanted to use a lot of bad words in there and I couldn't... b/c "family site".)


I'm dying of jealousy over here. They said it was "too expensive".


When someone is considered "ignorant" then instead of allowing their ignorance to continue, one should educate them.



Like you'd get any... you'd be mauled by chickens before the edge of one even passed your lips.

 

[staceyj]

OK, so here goes.

I'm gonna preface this by saying that I have been with my DH for 9 years tomorrow. A long time. I have been through a TON of crap with him--his son getting killed, my nephew getting killed, my mom dying, my house getting destroyed in Sandy, my crackup, job loss, you name it. My point is, we have history. And I am his WIFE. And all through it, I have never felt like his family has really liked or accepted me, although they are polite (they are WEIRD. Silent, noncommunicative, non-animal-loving not-my-people- kind of people).

So we went up north like an hour and a half yesterday for a surprise 50th anniversary party for his sister and her husband. It was thrown by DH's nephew and his wife, the anniversary couple's son. We gave them a nice chunk of change and a card and I took a Xanax beforehand (to deal with the stress of going, because I don't like being around that many people and a bunch of screaming kids and stuff). So I thought I was cool, it was all cool.

I go over by the buffet table and they have these clotheslines with all these old family photos strung up. And there staring me in the face, is DH'S WEDDING PICTURE WITH HIS EX WIFE. In her gown, he in his tux, all the old dead family members in the wedding party. Like--are you FREAKING. KIDDING. ME???!!!

Which is exactly what I said. Before I grabbed my beer and stood out on the front porch, fuming. He comes out a while later to see if I was OK, which I was not. He goes, "I told Michael (his nephew) and he covered her head with the clothespin." Frigging REALLY? I was like, I'm not coming in the house till that sh1t comes down, that is ridiculous and unacceptable (needless to say, there are no pics of me and him--nor am I ever invited to be in any of their family photos when they get together, something else that has always bothered me).He comes back out awhile later and says "they took it down. You can come in now." I did, I take another half Xanax, am still fuming and just want to go home.

When I go over to (surreptitiously, not) look and see if it is truly gone, Michael's wife makes some snide-azz remark like "oh we had to move the picture here" as she rearranged the clothespins. I said nothing, taking the high road. In fact, I said pretty much nothing for the rest of the (miserably too-long) evening. On the way home, when I got home, except to mention how totally hosed I think his family is. Then I went to bed. And cried.

I am still upset. Do you think I am overreacting? I don't want to go to any of the rest of their horrible holiday gatherings. They suck.

That's not the first time they've done stuff like that....

And now I feel like crying again. Except I'm mad. Still.


If you have been able to read this whole thing (I know, I know) I would really like your opinion. Thanks~ xo

Wow. I’m sorry that you’re living my life.
When we met and decided to get married his whole family hated me. They were so certain I was preggars.
(Not)
His parents didn’t contribute a penny to our small modest wedding, yet interfered (demanded) in every decision.
The next year we had a baby.
Again it was mayhem on every decision.

Finally WE went to marriage counseling.
But after a few sessions the therapist actually told my husband it wasn’t US that needed to work on things , it was HIM. He didn’t want to pursue that idea.

Finally there was a disagreement that caused a split in the family.

From then on I was no longer included in anything. He was. Just not me.
His extended family, siblings and parents didn’t speak to me or acknowledge our children for 16 years.

Then one day his mom woke up and decided she’d like to have grandchildren.
By then our boys were teenagers. They wanted none of it.
They had adult opinions and felt that the one grandmother they’d had was enough. Because she was awesome and loved them as a grandmother should- unconditionally. I never pushed them. But DH started taking the girls for visits. Not a ton, but some.
They enjoyed it I think ... but there was never any magical closeness.

She died suddenly almost two years ago. They felt bad for their dad but didn’t experience any “grief” over it.

We’ve been married almost 35 years. We’ve struggled.
We’ve had triumphs. We raised a family. We’ve lost a
Child.
Yet in all these years DH has never stood up and said anything to defend me.

I can tell you to this day.
It hurts me.
My grandmother would say “It cuts me to the quik.”

Ive been a great wife.
His champion.
His head cheerleader.
His partner.
I’ve made his life so that he could concentrate on his career and nothing else.
I handled everything with the houses, kids, finances, cars and pets.
I am throwing my arm out of joint here patting myself on the back because I have been one hell of a mom, and at times it was hard as heck dealing with kids and a husband who travelled a lot.

Had he married “the other girl” that his parents wanted him to marry, his life would never have been as deeply rewarding as it is.

All I can tell you is flat out ask that he stand up for you.
Tel him how deeply hurt you are that he doesn’t support you.
Sending you a hug.

 

[Chickassan]

That was eloquent as all get out.

Wow. I’m sorry that you’re living my life.
When we met and decided to get married his whole family hated me. They were so certain I was preggars.
(Not)
His parents didn’t contribute a penny to our small modest wedding, yet interfered (demanded) in every decision.
The next year we had a baby.
Again it was mayhem on every decision.

Finally WE went to marriage counseling.
But after a few sessions the therapist actually told my husband it wasn’t US that needed to work on things , it was HIM. He didn’t want to pursue that idea.

Finally there was a disagreement that caused a split in the family.

From then on I was no longer included in anything. He was. Just not me.
His extended family, siblings and parents didn’t speak to me or acknowledge our children for 16 years.

Then one day his mom woke up and decided she’d like to have grandchildren.
By then our boys were teenagers. They wanted none of it.
They had adult opinions and felt that the one grandmother they’d had was enough. Because she was awesome and loved them as a grandmother should- unconditionally. I never pushed them. But DH started taking the girls for visits. Not a ton, but some.
They enjoyed it I think ... but there was never any magical closeness.

She died suddenly almost two years ago. They felt bad for their dad but didn’t experience any “grief” over it.

We’ve been married almost 35 years. We’ve struggled.
We’ve had triumphs. We raised a family. We’ve lost a
Child.
Yet in all these years DH has never stood up and said anything to defend me.

I can tell you to this day.
It hurts me.
My grandmother would say “It cuts me to the quik.”

Ive been a great wife.
His champion.
His head cheerleader.
His partner.
I’ve made his life so that he could concentrate on his career and nothing else.
I handled everything with the houses, kids, finances, cars and pets.
I am throwing my arm out of joint here patting myself on the back because I have been one hell of a mom, and at times it was hard as heck dealing with kids and a husband who travelled a lot.

Had he married “the other girl” that his parents wanted him to marry, his life would never have been as deeply rewarding as it is.

All I can tell you is flat out ask that he stand up for you.
Tel him how deeply hurt you are that he doesn’t support you.
Sending you a hug.

 

[staceyj]

Just wondering.....do you have anyone around your area that can deliver sand by truck. I have a local guy that delivers by the 1/2 ton. I get a ton delivered every other spring for $90....that includes delivery. I have him dump it in a corner of my property and then I can use it at needed. Bucketful or wheelbarrow full .I know a ton sounds like a lot but you would be surprised .

I had topsoil delivered last year. It wasn’t even a huge amount. Like three yards (?).
And best price I could get plus delivery was exorbitant.
Just the delivery was $100 and they only dumped it in my driveway. I humped wheelbarrows of it to the back yard for days and days.
The same place sells sand and you can buy it from them if you bring your own 5 gallon buckets but it kills me it’s so heavy to get out of the back of my little suv.

 

[apryl29]

I had topsoil delivered last year. It wasn’t even a huge amount. Like three yards (?).
And best price I could get plus delivery was exorbitant.
Just the delivery was $100 and they only dumped it in my driveway. I humped wheelbarrows of it to the back yard for days and days.
The same place sells sand and you can buy it from them if you bring your own 5 gallon buckets but it kills me it’s so heavy to get out of the back of my little suv.

$100 for delivery is insane. It's easier if it's dry, but you know it's going to end up being full of water by the time you get a chance to get to it. I've tried driving my car out back, but if the problem is that the run's too wet then the grass is too wet to drive on. I might get a bag this week and just toss it in the run to see what happens. There's no problem if the chickens nibble at them, right?

 

[FlyingNunFarm]

The pine pellets are just compressed so no glue or chemicals but I would watch they don’t eat the pellets. I would think they would puff up in their crop and that would be bad. I didn’t put any in the run yet. I plan on doing it once they are in the coop to be on the safe side.
I put them down and let them soak up what they can. I stomp them down and kick them around a bit. They are mixing with the mud and compressing into something I can at least stand on and sink or slide around.
They are cheap too. About $5 for 40lbs.

 

[Chickassan]

Ok, this is random and really stupid. About seven years ago hubs paid a guys dues on a time share in Hilton Head to try out one he was thinking of buying, he never signed anything. Now they're trying to say he owes nearly five thousand dollars past dues. He hasn't heard a thing from this company in seven years. What kind of place you actually owe money leaves you in complete peace for seven years?
I told him unless they have an contract with the breakdown and schedule for dues and a disclamer on actions to be taken if dues aren't paid signed by him from seven years ago then good luck on collecting anything.
I can't get over the desperation of this company! BTW time share was awful! A mile from the beach, not like it was even a good beach they "clean" it each morning so the sand is concrete hard.
There was literally an alligator pond five feet from the back door.
Expensive everything and snobby people, only one friendly old dude in a speedo on the beach. He stood out, number one he was smiling, number two he was wearing a speedo on a beach with 40's style modesty "no kidding". Speedo man made me feel much better about my bikini.