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pitbullmomma said:
Hi guys....works been soo crazy and I haven't been alone to have a minute to respond to all this. I'm gonna try one of those multi-quote things that Apryl does so well, lol.



They always say they want me there, and why don't I come around more? It is true, I often try to duck out of his family gatherings. I can't be around people (especially his people, lol) that much.



Oh, my friend. I had a 45 minute conversation with his 93 year old mother on Tuesday night. I LET IT ALL HANG OUT. I was fierce, and awesome!!!! His mother is sweet. Actually , most of his family is nice, they are just ignorant.

I told her I love her son more than anything, but I was NOT going to be treated like a second class citizen any more, and tolerate the crap that has gone on.

I said it is ridiculous--not to mention very hurtful--that they have pictures of his ex wife, ever, anywhere.

I told her I was sick and tired of NEVER ONCE being asked to be in family photos.

I told her I am a good godd@mn person, and that her son lived with me for a year and a half, never told anyone where he was living, and I supported him. While he supported his entire extended family. And that he should have been proud that he was living with a nice, smart, good looking, funny DOCTOR and that they have some nerve acting like his ex is so great because all she did was pump out kid after kid, never work, and mooch off him while he worked three jobs so that they could have whatever they wanted.

I told her that I was not coming to any of their family gatherings for the holidays, and maybe never. Because I am disgusted.

I said it was shameful how the whole funeral/memorial service of his son went down.

I gotta go. He just got home. But wait, there's more coming. I was FIERCE, y'all.
Click to expand...

:pop

:caf
 
ronott1 said:
Likely is bad genes and not mareks

That is good news and bad news! If it is not Mareks, then the SFH are prone to whatever cancer it is. This site has a section for cancers:

http://www.thepoultrysite.com/publications/6/diseases-of-poultry/204/erythroblastosis/

Neoplastic Diseases in Poultry
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I'll have to look at that when I'm not working, in a blizzard. I hate driving in this sh!t so I'm trying to get home.
I really do think the Flowers have a genetic issue. The Cuckoos were hatchery birds I got for free. I've thought about getting more Flowers in the spring to try again. I just love them. Not only are they beautiful but they have such personality.
Someone else I was talking to that used to breed had said maybe adding in Speckled Sussex to strengthen the gene pool. Flowers are landrace... sorta Heinz 57 of chickens. I never planned on being a breeder. Don't really want to be a breeder with a bunch of roos tp deal with. But I have all winter to think about it.
 
FlyingNunFarm said:
I'll have to look at that when I'm not working, in a blizzard. I hate driving in this sh!t so I'm trying to get home.
I really do think the Flowers have a genetic issue. The Cuckoos were hatchery birds I got for free. I've thought about getting more Flowers in the spring to try again. I just love them. Not only are they beautiful but they have such personality.
Someone else I was talking to that used to breed had said maybe adding in Speckled Sussex to strengthen the gene pool. Flowers are landrace... sorta Heinz 57 of chickens. I never planned on being a breeder. Don't really want to be a breeder with a bunch of roos tp deal with. But I have all winter to think about it.
Click to expand...
Adding something in or culling hard are the two options for fixing a breed with bad genetics.

Culling hard takes time and a lot of work. See if yo can get some from a different breeder that might have used better breeding methods
 
Adding speckled sussex? You might actually enjoy those Nunny. They like to jump on you alot and never hush. They're like spotted kids!:caf
FlyingNunFarm said:
I'll have to look at that when I'm not working, in a blizzard. I hate driving in this sh!t so I'm trying to get home.
I really do think the Flowers have a genetic issue. The Cuckoos were hatchery birds I got for free. I've thought about getting more Flowers in the spring to try again. I just love them. Not only are they beautiful but they have such personality.
Someone else I was talking to that used to breed had said maybe adding in Speckled Sussex to strengthen the gene pool. Flowers are landrace... sorta Heinz 57 of chickens. I never planned on being a breeder. Don't really want to be a breeder with a bunch of roos tp deal with. But I have all winter to think about it.
Click to expand...
 
ronott1 said:
Adding something in or culling hard are the two options for fixing a breed with bad genetics.

Culling hard takes time and a lot of work. See if yo can get some from a different breeder that might have used better breeding methods
Click to expand...
So Greenfire Farms is one of, if not the original, breeder to bring them in. Straight run is $29 per bird. Did I mention I got 2 girls out of 7 hatchlings! My luck with roosters is awful.
They also have 55 Flowery Hen which is $29 per hen cause they auto sex. Really almost anything "flowered" or "speckled" could be added in.
I like the Orloff too. $19 straight run. They have beards. :p
 
rjohns39 said:
Cindi, I can't wait to read the rest....:caf

ETA: Cindy is awesome!
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Hmm, what else.

I said their family doesn't talk, and that she needs to talk to her son. That they don't talk about anything real and deep, only about stupid shit like who is on Dancing With the Stars and because of that her son doesn't know how to communicate.

That he can't talk about his dead son because he doesn't know how to talk, and he is full of pain and he will never heal. That I know when he is sad and thinking about him, but he won't--because he can't, because of the way he was raised--communicate, that none of them talk about their feelings or about stuff that matters, and that it is a tragedy.

I told her that I love her son so much I would throw myself in front of a frigging train for him. But I love myself too, and that I am a good and worthy person who deserves a hell of a lot more than what she's gotten from them for the last 9 years, and that I was done.

I told her that I don't celebrate Christmas. I don't like Christmas. That not everybody celebrates Christmas (his family TOTALLY doesn't get that). That it is insensitive to insist that people have to participate in something that they were not raised with, that they have asked repeatedly to not buy me presents, that I don't like the hypocrisy and expense and stress and environmental waste that to me is Christmas.

I told her I am fine with Joe spending the holidays with his family, but that I prefer to be alone, because I like being by myself and I don't need to be around all that noise and people and commotion. And that they respectfully accept that. In fact, I might go to a yoga retreat for Christmas (that she could not believe. But I am quite serious. And honestly, that is the only Christmas present that I want).

And I basically said, if I ever see another family picture with Joe's ex in it, that I would wipe my ass with it, and set it on fire.

Because I am WORTHY, betches! :highfive:
 
21hens-incharge said:
Thanks PBM. Morning was rough, really really rough today.

Ok so.......

What I am hearing you say is that for your entire marriage to him they have been passively aggressively trying to.make you feel unworthy, or less than whatever the ex was.

Um....they are divorced. I kinda think that says she is the unworthy one.

Trying to make you feel like a nothing/nobody is a very hurtful thing to deal with.
You are a very worthy person who deserves so much better.
He obviously knows this since he married you. ;)

Possibly he is just very use to being submissive to them. It sucks taters. He is supposed to be your champion and partner in life.
I doubt it will change.

I would tell him you love him but won't participate in the gatherings anymore. That it is hurtful and you are simply done with that in life.

There are enough people in the world willing to gleefully hurt people. Family shouldn't be on that list.
:hugs
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Hey Henny.

I hope you are feeling a tiny bit better about your baby. I'm still so sorry....it sucks. :hugs

They honestly are not passive aggressive, I think they are just ignorant, really. I should have said all that I said YEARS ago. But I didn't, and I seethed for a long time, and was beyond pissed every time my hubby never stood up for me. He is very passive when it comes to his family, is very old school Italian, and that is not an excuse.

If he wasn't so good to me in so many other ways I probably would not have stayed with him. But he is, really.

I did tell him --and his mother--exactly what you wrote above. That I love him, BUT I am not going to participate in any of his Christmas gatherings this year. That I am sorry, but I will not be going to any of their stuff. And if and when I do, that will be *my* decision.
 

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