Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[Gigachad poultry]

That's it!

Dank you hooman! (Clears throat) Hooman assistant put me down I have important files to go take care of!

(He's going to go sunbathe and wonder when I'm going to give him treats next)

 

[rural mouse]

An open letter to all chickens
From the chicken servants of the world

Dear chickens,
Please have some consideration for your hooman servants. They try their best to look after your every need, and when they fail to come up to your expectations it is because they are slow-witted and are not fluent in Chicken, not because they have bad intent.
Please note, that as well as being slow-witted, some of your servants are old. Some, dare I say it, are fat. It really is not good for their health to be running around in the sun chasing chickens when the heat index is over 100 degrees. That is Fahrenheit - if you chickens prefer Celsius - that is 38 degrees C.
So please, if you choose to fly over your fence, could you kindly do so on a cool day and please, when you have done whatever it is you flew out to do, can you return promptly to the safety of your chicken area and not lead your servant on a high speed chase across open fields and through dense shrubbery.
I am not blaming anyone in particular, Sylvie, but on behalf of the servants I must stress this is a health and safety issue that requires prompt attention.
Humbly yours,
The Servant at the Chicken Palace
(on behalf of chicken tenders, bucket boys, and chicken servants everywhere)

View attachment 3628695

Are YOU OK, now?

 

[RoyalChick]

Are YOU OK, now?

Yes, thank you!
I came back in and drank a large amount of cold water - and then I remembered that woman who died from drinking too much water and stopped to eat a salty cracker too.
I considered diving in to the packet of Sav-a-Chick that I spotted on the shelf!
Geez it is very hot and very humid out there - honestly I get drenched in just two minutes without running around trying to persuade Sylvie to go back home.
She is not even supposed to be a flying breed of chicken, but she doesn't seem to have read that memo.

 

[GregnLety]

Yes, thank you!
I came back in and drank a large amount of cold water - and then I remembered that woman who died from drinking too much water and stopped to eat a salty cracker too.
I considered diving in to the packet of Sav-a-Chick that I spotted on the shelf!
Geez it is very hot and very humid out there - honestly I get drenched in just two minutes without running around trying to persuade Sylvie to go back home.
She is not even supposed to be a flying breed of chicken, but she doesn't seem to have read that memo.

The guineas use to be bad for flying the fence but even moreso are the rascals, they can fly like quail. I got them trained, or vice versa, to come to me when I step out the kitchen door. I put the bird seeds exactly where their rooster says. This is in hopes of keeping them from wanting to inspect someone else's yard.

 

[GregnLety]

Speaking of guineas, I am considering this as a pen for the guineas. During the hot weather it can be under our huge live oak and when it gets cold we can move it close to the garage or house and close it up for warmth. It is 4 x 4 and 6 feet tall. Should be plenty of space for those 3 crazy birds.

 

[RoyalChick]

The guineas use to be bad for flying the fence but even moreso are the rascals, they can fly like quail. I got them trained, or vice versa, to come to me when I step out the kitchen door. I put the bird seeds exactly where their rooster says. This is in hopes of keeping them from wanting to inspect someone else's yard.

I need a major training focus.
They know I bring food and they know about the rattle of the tin cup with seed, but the littles don’t rush because they know Bernie will chase them off so they wait until she wanders off.
I wonder if I should train them that I will put feed in multiple locations or spread it widely in the run so it is worth their while even with Bernie.
It is hard though because she and Babs are fast. They can clear a large area of scattered seed in no time!

 

[GregnLety]

Speaking of guineas, I am considering this as a pen for the guineas. During the hot weather it can be under our huge live oak and when it gets cold we can move it close to the garage or house and close it up for warmth. It is 4 x 4 and 6 feet tall. Should be plenty of space for those 3 crazy birds.View attachment 3628810

My bad, it's 4 x 8 x 6 ft tall.

 

[GregnLety]

I need a major training focus.
They know I bring food and they know about the rattle of the tin cup with seed, but the littles don’t rush because they know Bernie will chase them off so they wait until she wanders off.
I wonder if I should train them that I will put feed in multiple locations or spread it widely in the run so it is worth their while even with Bernie.
It is hard though because she and Babs are fast. They can clear a large area of scattered seed in no time!

When multiple flocks come running I throw a few handfuls as far apart as I can so everyone stands a chance.

 

[featherhead007]

I hope it's that and not them plotting world domination! I don't remember getting cats in chicken suits, I remember getting chickens!

 

[Gigachad poultry]

View attachment 3628826

I sense an imposter in this photo!!! Be very careful lol